Chapter 49 Choosing the Emperor’s bed or Daevir’s life
Amarien's POV
I wiped my tears, unwilling for any of these people to see my pain. Haven't I done enough? Haven't I sacrificed enough?! Yet I always get the short end of the stick.
The man whom I love with all my heart. The one who promised to marry me and make me his queen against all odds. The one who swore to discard everyone who stands in his way, even his own father!
He held me close and made promises to me. Promises that have kept me going for this long. How could he caress Catherine like she's the only thing that matters to him?
Where are all those promises when he was dancing with her? He promised me it was no big deal, and he never looks at Catherine the way he looks at me. Yet he does! He does!
I felt so weakened that I collapsed on a pillar next to me.
What was I thinking?! That this was magically going to work out?! The world is stark against our relationship. The palace will never agree to it: a prince marrying his father's wife! It will be an abomination!
And they won't blame the prince for falling in love with a peasant concubine like me. They won't blame him for forcing his love, his desires on me. They will blame me! They will punish me for seducing him!
All I want to do is serve him in the Apothecary. I'll leave the rest of my life happy. Yes, it will break my heart that he is not with me because I love him more than anything. But I have accepted my fate long ago that I could never be worthy of his love! I'll never be worthy of his touch!
I wish he had just left me to it.
Then it struck me - My purpose for being here.
His child.
I have his child!
Goose pimples crawled on my skin. It's only a matter of time before the Emperor knows. That maiden won't be the first and last to know. Everyone has their eyes on the concubine palace, not just for infidelity but for conception.
Once they pick up that I'm pregnant, I'll be forced to take the test.
"There she is!" A voice lashed behind me.
It was Corvin and the rest of the crew. They must have been looking for me all around the palace.
Corvin raced to me, shaking me up. "Where did you run to?!" Corvin looked like he had freaked out multiple times.
I wiped my tears. "I like to see the Emperor."
Corvin raised his brows, confused. "What do you mean?"
"Remember what you talked about? About working my way into the emperor's heart to make me queen?"
Corvin nodded.
"You're ready for that?" Corvin's eyes widened with elation like he had been waiting for me to say this for ages now.
"Amarien. You know to make your way into his heart. You have to make your way in-between his legs."
Only Corvin knows the Emperor hasn't touched me. Now that I'm pregnant. The best way to save my position and my head is to walk right into that place I had run away from all my days here.
Yes. I must sleep with the Emperor. There is no other way out.
There's no other way I'll explain to Corvin or anyone who finds out how I got pregnant.
When I finally consummate my union with the Emperor, it will be easier for people to believe it is the Emperor's child.
And if I so do have favour in his sight. He might fulfill his word and make me queen. At least I won't be separated from my child when the Emperor dies, like the rest of the concubines who will be sent to the nunnery.
The children of concubines out of wedlock are met with an even worse fate. If they survive the beating and stones their mother will ensure while in the womb. They are immediately seized by the palace, never to be seen again once they are out of it.
Some say those children are sold off as slaves to other lands. Some say they are killed immediately and buried in shallow graves.
If I do this, If I let the Emperor touch down just like Daevir did. I'll get to live with my child in the palace wall. No one will know the child belongs to someone else.
It's damning, but it's my only choice!
The only way I can save my child's life!
I turned to Corvin. "Please take me to him." I bowed.
Corvin nodded with firm approval and clapped to my entourage. Everyone stationed themselves around me.
"You will save us all, Amarien," Corvin said with a proud glint in his eyes. He had never looked at me this proud before.
Corvin and I matched hand in hand for the Emperor's quarters. My heart leaped in my chest in anticipation of what was to come.
Would I enjoy it as much as I did with Daevir?
I recalled my dream that first week at the palace.
The darkness. My hands over my bare breast. My heart thumping through their softness. His eyes on me.
Is it going to be like that?!
I tried not to think about it, but the imagery didn't leave my head.
That cool nose sniffling through my bare, shaky legs, his beard brushing against my tender skin, making me whimper. Those creepy whispers. The shadows looming over me!
His grey beard, that lusty-sickly look in his eyes as he looked down on my frail form, the smirk that curved his lips, reminding me I'm nothing but a little bug he can crush at any moment.
The assault!
Grabbing my neck and pressing me against the bed.
Yes, they say the Emperor is ill. But he is nothing but frail. I've seen him swing a giant sword at Basgrid, chopping his head off. I've seen him survive the greatest herbal sleeping tea poured on his face.
I've seen him dart through the palace, waking up every soul because of me.
I felt shivers down my spine.
"It will be a rough night." Corvin said as we got to the elaborate Emperor's quarters. "But everything good comes with a price."
I swallowed and wiped tears from my eyes as he reached the emperor's doom.
Most concubines aren't allowed in with a direct request from the Emperor, but I'm not most concubine. I'm the concubine whom the Emperor is obsessed with.
Corvin knocked on the door, and a troop of guards filed out. We all bowed, except Corvin, who spoke to the guards.
As my head remained bowed, I heard a distant sound that sent shivers down my spine.
A howl.
I raised my head slightly to be sure it wasn't what I thought it was.
The howl blazed even more. I looked around to be sure it wasn't just me hearing it. Surely someone else must be hearing that.
My gaze darted to the window, and I saw it.
The full moon!
No…
Not the howl!
Not the…
It's Daevir!
He has shifted!
I couldn't get the Alpachipa roses to him! And he is at the banquet! They are going to know he is a werewolf!
"You can come in now, Concubine Amarien," Corvin announced with a proud smile. "The emperor is waiting for you."
My gaze darted from Corvin to the Emperor's estate. My heart leaped in my chest.
I had one damning decision to make today. One decision that will change everything.
I'm either walking into the Emperor's chambers to save mine and my baby's life. Or I turn around to get the roses to Daevir.
I didn't think twice about it.
I whipped around and darted off the Emperor's estate.
Corvin called and pursued. But I was faster than him.
All I could think of was Daevir.