Chapter 38 Get your bags ready Amarien. You're going to hell.
Amarien’s POV
I have never been celebrated before. Not once in my life. This party was one hell of a blast.
Firstly, Corvin had tiptoed into my quarters with a host of musicians who woke me out of sleep.
“The emperor’s orders,” Corvin had told me once the performance was over.
I felt as if I were floating through an unreal dream when my dress arrived. Silk after silk after silk. I was buried in silk. The emperor had picked a jade coloured silk for me, and I was thrown into the clothes without hesitation.
Thankfully, the celebration unfolded in the outer courts, encircled by my fellow concubines, each beaming at me as if I were queen of the realm.
Even Velmira smiled at me, which was strange. It felt like she was hiding a lot behind that smile. Once she got close enough to me and whispered. “You're as old as I was, and the emperor lost interest in me. Why is he still interested in you? What makes you so special?!”
Corvin interrupted her and had the guard escort her out of the outer courts.
“She's drunk.” Said Corvin. “We don't want any of her drama here today, do we?”
I smiled, but my heart palpitated in my chest. Could she be right? I am indeed two years older now. This is the moment most concubines lost favour in the sight of the emperor, who goes for little girls. Why won't the emperor let me go? Had I changed his appetites?
The party shot up to his glory when the emperor, the crowned prince and his betrothed walked in.
We all stood and bowed before the emperor, who was as jolly as he was yesterday. He sat beside me, giddily whispering compliments like a schoolboy to his dear crush.
It was endearing, but my eyes were on the Crowned Prince…Daevir. He avoided looking in my (or our) direction throughout. Catherine seems entertaining enough for him, though she seems to have her eyes fixed on me.
The music, dance and performance cheered the emperor. As customary, I was made to pour his drink and present it to him while he drank happily.
I did just that, bowing my face to touch the ground as I presented every cup to him. Once the cup is empty, the emperor demands a refill over and over again.
He drank A LOT.
The dancers and musicians had reached their crescendo, performing breathtaking feats both on the ground and in the air. Contorting their bodies into extraordinary shapes, yet smiling through their intricate choreography.
I clapped and cheered when the emperor grunted more wine. I grabbed the jug and poured what's left of the wine, motioning to the guards to make a refill.
But the performance came to an abrupt end when the emperor took the cup in my hand and, with one gulp, he collapsed, the cup of wine spilling to the floor.
The women around me screeched in fright. The guard raced to the emperor, holding him fast so he would fall to the ground.
And then…the silence.
No, not that silence of worry that the emperor collapses.
No.
Almost everyone at the party had their eyes on me. Their eyes trailed the empty jug of wine in my hand to the dying emperor, and their gaze said it.
She did it.
I froze.
“What are you all looking at?!” Daevir's voice blasted through the crowd, shaking everyone up. “Get the emperor out of here! Now!”
The crowd dispersed.
The suspicion in the air suddenly morphed into precipitation.
The crowd made way as the emperor’s lifeless form was carried out of the party.
Daevir followed his father, and soon the crowd that had gathered around me began to dissipate, looking at me with disgust, dusting their shoes or clothes as if to get rid of an omen they perceived around me, not spread it throughout the palace. They all did this before stepping out.
Tears simmered in my eyes. Everyone I could think of was the emperor.
Was he…dead?
I thought everyone at the party had left until I heard a voice that shook me out of my thoughts.
“Hello…”
I turned, and it was Princess Catherine. Was she there all this time watching me?
I bowed to her stiffly, making the tears in my eyes drop to the floor.
Catherine looked at me, stepping around me like I was a spectacle from the zoo.
“Finally, I get to meet you face to face, Amarien.”
I nodded stiffly, refusing to meet her clear blue eyes. Eyes, I could tell, feed on deep intuition. Eyes that could read minds if she tried hard enough.
I only lowered my head further.
“Prince Daevir has said…quite a number of things about you.” She smirked. “It's almost crazy how he talks about you all the time. You would think there must be something very special about this little girl, Daevir won't shut up about. Alas…I see it.”
I could feel her gaze trail me from head to toe. “Even the West can't boast of such beauty.” She ran her hands through my fair hair.
I looked up at her. Matching her eyes for once. “Really? You think I'm beautiful.”
Catherine nodded. Holding my shoulders.
“Where I came from, they’ll call you blonde. You are the epitome of perfection. The very thing poets and philosophers write about.”
“That can't be true. You must be mistaken, your highness. I'm not beautiful. Everyone who looks at me here thinks I'm cursed.”
“Cursed with an enviable beauty that is. People tend to hate what they can't have.”
She ran her hands through my blonde hair again. I wish I could do the same with hers. I've never seen red hair before.
“I think your hair is the most beautiful thing I've seen, your highness. I've never seen anything like it in my life.” I said with a smile.
Catherine nodded. “It's as common as sand where I come from.”
What was I thinking? Why have I always believed that there's something mean about Catherine when she's the sweetest person I've ever met? No one has ever called me a great beauty. No one but her.
I think we might just be good friends.
“It saddens me that Daevir's tastes are much more refined than I could offer…” Catherine finally said, a sad smile on her face.
OH my…I never thought she'd go there.
Quickly, I shook my head. “No, no, your highness. Why will you think that?! I think the prince soothes you well.”
Guilt pricked my heart. It's the same prince I was with last night. How could I be so awful to such a sweet soul?
“You think so? I think he likes you…” Catherine finally said with that eerie knowing look in her eye. Suddenly, I felt hostility like never before.
I froze.
“It's okay, Amarien. It really is. I've known that from the moment I saw the way he looked at you when you stepped into the imperial banquet. It's no news that Princes fall for lowly women beyond their station. But it's particularly strange in your case since you're meant to be his father's concubine. It's very forbidden, isn't it?”
Catherine resumed pacing around me like a prey she couldn't wait to prance on and tear into pieces.
I gulped.
“I don't want you to think I'm not capable of sharing you with the crowned prince and soon-to-be emperor.” Catherine ran her fingers down my chin. “After all, polygamy isn't just accepted in this realm; it's demanded. It's my dream to let this love go on, but…” her gaze whipped at me. “It can't.”
“There's nothing going…” I stammered out, but Catherine cut me off and kept talking like nothing I said mattered to her.
“If the emperor dies today from that goblet you served him. You won't be raised from your lowly position of being a concubine to my husband to be’s bed, Amarien. You know the protocol. Every concubine of the last emperor will be taken to the nunnery where they will live and die for the rest of their days.”
I gulped as Catherine towered over me.
“Even Daevir won't be able to stop that.”
It can't be true!
I'll lose everything once the emperor dies?! I'll be taken to the nunnery?!
Oh no. That can't happen. The thought of the nunnery brought shivers down my spine.
I know what it's like spending just an hour there, and it's the worst. I would never get the chance to read books, and I won’t practice any form of Apocethary. My life will be stripped from me, and I'd be forced to follow sets of arbitrary, strict rules and regulations from joy-deprived and miserable women. Women who revel in other women's suffering and angst.
The nunnery is literal hell! It's even worse when they know you're cursed. They'll make it their life's mission to trip you up every curse, no matter the painful techniques.
That's where I'd be going when the emperor dies?!
“You think the emperor has died.” Tears simmered in my eyes.
Catherine nodded yes, a sly smile on her face. “Get your bags ready, Amarien. You're going to hell.”