Chapter 80: Alive…

After 2 months...

Keian's POV

I touched the name engraved on the stone over the brown soil.

Bukod sa pa-rectangle na walang damo at bagong lagay na lupa, ang paligid nito ay color green...

I wiped the tears that escaped my eyes.

She is a great and reliable ally, she fought with her loved ones and thus she will never be forgotten...

" Mama..." hinarap ko si Brylle sa akin at pinunasan ang pisngi nito.

Kanina pa siya umiiyak.

" Hey Brylle. It's okay, I'm here..." he hugged me thightly and I did the same.

My heart is beating fast...

I admit that I'm feeling scared...

She's gone.

Tapos na ang paghihirap niya.

She don't have to suffer anymore.

She said it's okay.

But for me, it's not.

She should've continued her life.

Though, she looked like she's really tired.

And I want to make her tiredness disappear.

Now, she's resting...

" Kei" may humawak sa balikat ko at napataas ang tingin ko kay Kayden.

He's wearing shades, just like me. But I know that he's struggling more than I am.

His wife died...

After only seeing her again these past few weeks.

" Papa" humiwalay sa akin si Brylle at pumunta kay Kayden.

Lubos na naaalala ni Brylle si Kayden dahil siya ang madalas nitong kasama dati.

But we all know that Kayden's not his real father.

It's Gaius...

Tumayo ako at lumayo sa puntod. Hinayaan kong kausapin ni Kayden si Brylle at ang libingan ni Aedin.

I looked at the name for the last time.

Aedin Fuentes

A week after coming back from Arkaine Estate, her condition worsen up till the point that she gave up...

Sobrang saya niya nang makita si Kayden and it's like they are a happy family again.

Bu then she confessed that Brylle's father is not my brother but Gaius is...

I was not awake when she told everyone about that.

Wala akong malay nang tatlong araw.

My brother had a bad day but still decided to visit my room...

Nagising ako nung time na iyon at hindi ko maipaliwanag yung nararamdaman ko basta't bigla akong nagalit kay Kayden.

---

I heard someone opened the door...

And it slumped against the sofa.

Narinig ko ang pagbuntong hininga nito.

Napagdesisyonan kong dumilat at nagkatinginan kami ni Kayden.

He's really alive...

Bahagya itong ngumiti sa akin.

" Hey" I don't know why but I felt a surge of energy and anger rushed through my body.

Wala sa sarili akong bumaba sa kama at itinaas siya sa pamamagitan ng paghawak sa kwelyo nito. 

That's when I realized that I can only use my one hand at the moment. My left hand is inside an arm sling.

" You said that she's coming back! Where is she?! You liar!" Sigaw ko dito.

I want to stop. My body's aching from head to toe.

Alam kong walang siyang kasalanan sa nangyari but I can't stop.

" Where is she!? Ang sabi mo babalik siya!" Nagtitigan kami nang masama sa isa't isa.

I noticed how deep his eye bags are.

" I don't know what will happen! Kailangan ko bang malaman ang lahat ng dapat mangyayari!? F*ck! I wish I had that kind of power! To know if someones hiding something from you, to know what will happen in the future so that I can plan ahead of what I should do. We both don't expected what happened Kei! You and I are both clueless!" Natigilan ako sa sinabi nito.

I'm not sure if he's talking about what happened to Nass. It seems like he's talking about something else.

For the first time in my life, I saw him cry...

He never ever show his weakness to me. Gusto niyang maging role model para sa nakababata niyang kapatid.

A strong and reliable man.

That's why if he's feeling strong emotions, he will just smile or get angry...

" Kuya..."

Ah sh8t. Why did I say that?

Kahit na umiiyak ay napangisi ito sa akin.

" For the first time! Finally, you called me Kuya!"

Hinihingal akong umupo sa taas nung sandalan nung sofa.

" Well, I'll consider it this time, it's your first time crying in front of me" nawala ang ngisi niya at bumalik sa pagiging seryoso ang expression niya.

" Sorry. I..." hinawakan niya ang balikat ko.

" It's alright. In understand why you reacted that way" binalik niya ang kamay sa magkabilang gilid niya at tila natulala sa sahig.

" So what happened?" Tumingin ito sa akin.

" I'm not Brylle's real father"

---

I was pretty shocked that time.

I didn't think Aedin would ever cheat on my brother...

I had to ask her myself.

She regretted doing that to Kayden pero hinayaan ko na silang dalawa na ayusin ang problema nilang mag-asawa.

She's a great woman. All of us loved her.

---

" Kei..." I looked at Aedin. She's loosing even more weight and becoming more and more tired.

" Yes?" Lumapit ako dito at hinawakan ang kamay niya.

" I'm sorry I kissed you that time. Nakita tuloy tayo ni Nassandra" malungkot akong ngumiti dito.

" It's okay Aedin. It's my fault too" pinisil niya ang kamay ko at tumitig sa mata ko.

" You love her right?" Yumuko ako at hindi nakasagot.

I can't... She's gone. And I can't get that thought out of my head.

" I-I miss her so much. It's all my fault" yes. I feel like this is my fault.

If I hadn't treated her badly, baka nasa kamay ko pa siya ngayon, edi sana kasama ko pa siya ngayon.

Paulit-ulit nalang akong nags-sorry sa kanya pero paulit ulit ding gumagawa ng pagkakamali.

" Kei. Huwag mong sisihin ang sarili mo. I know that it's her own decision at iniisip niya lang ang kapakanan mo"

" That's why it's entirely my fault!" She reached for my cheeks weakly.

" We both know it's not. Stop torturing yourself, okay?" Bumuntong hininga ako at tumango.

Not completely approving.

" You will open the red box I gave to you when my time comes" hinawakan ko ang kamay nito na nasa pisngi ko.

" Aedin. Don't say that. You can still fight. Alam kong mahaba pa ang buhay mo" she let out a humorless laughter.

" Oh please, Kei---"

" Hey, if you want me not to think I'm not at fault with what happened at Nass then don't think you're dying. That's unfair" seryoso kong sabi.

Ngumiti siya sa akin nang malapad.

" Okay Kei. I will try..."

" Keiranz" napatingin ako sa pinto at nakita si Kayden.

" Can I... talk to her?" Bahagya akong ngumiti dito.

After many days, ito ang araw na kakausapin na ni Kayden si Aedin...

Lumayo ako sa kama at dumiretso sa kwarto.

" Of course"

Bago pa ako makalabas ng kwarto ay hinawakan ni Kayden ang balikat ko.

" She told me to tell you that there's something for all of you under the bed of hers in the maids' quarters." My heart raced at what he said.

Umiling ako dito.

Not now.

---

Iniwan ko si Kayden kasama si Brylle sa may puntod ni Aedin at pumasok na sa kotse ko.

Mabilis kong pinatakbo ito pabalik sa mansyon.

We... never found her body.

In fact, we never found anyone's body.

Lahat ng taong nasama sa pagsabog na iyon ay naging abo na.

Some are identified because some pieces of clothes were still on the floor so we figured out those are the ashes of the clothes' owner.

We managed to bury some people.

And the fact that we saw Maximo's ashes made us really satisfied.

Nalaman ko na yung laging kasama ni Maximo ay ang isa sa tumulong sa amin na madaling makapasok sila Nic sa lugar.

We were also surprised to know that some of our men is part of an agency which makes me really frustrated.

Ang daming nagmamasid sa amin nang hindi namin alam.

I found out that Nass' brother is still alive.

His agency also helped Nic in fighting Maximo's men.

He gave a good beating after I recovered from my injuries because of me not taking care of his younger sister.

I deserved that...

I'm somehow trying to find Nass for the past few weeks.

But I can't even see a glimpse of her.

Humigpit ang hawak ko sa manibela.

Kumuha ako ng isang sigarilyo sa may compartment ng kotse at sinindihan ito.

Hindi ko pa nalalagay sa bibig ko ang isa ay naalala ko yung time na sinabihan niya ako na masama sa kalusugan ang paninigarilyo.

Bumuntong hininga ako at bumaba na sa sasakyan dahil nandito naman na ako sa mansyon.

Ibinigay ko ang susi sa isang tauhan para madala niya ito sa parking.

I threw the cigarette on the stone way then stepped on it.

Pagkatapos ay kinuha ko ito at itinapon sa basurahan kasama ang isang buong box ng sigarilyo.

" Kei!" Tumingin ako kay Nic na nasa may sala kasama ang walo pang iba.

They are all here...

I nodded at Nic as I walk toward the maids' quarters.

" M-maître" tumingin ako sa isa pang maid na ang pangalan yata ay Ema.

" I'm sorry. Can I go inside?" Nanlaki ang mata niya at kaagad na tumango.

" Syempre naman po. Kaso lang ay nagpapahinga po sa loob si manang" tumango ako dito.

" That's okay. Thank you" she slightly bowed. I don't pay attention on how fast she walks away from me.

I sighed then opened the door.

Bumungad sa akin si manang na nakahiga sa isa sa mga kamang nandoon.

" Keiranz" lumapit ako dito at humalik sa pisngi niya.

Manang woke up from coma last month and she's now fully recovered.

Kaso lang ay nahihirapan na siyang maggagalaw.

" Are you sure you don't want to rest on a more spacious room?" Umiling ito at ngumiti.

" Okay lang. Mas komportable ako dito. Baka hindi pa ako makapagpahinga sa magarbong kwarto.

I smiled at her.

" Okay" I looked at where Nass' bed is.

" Do you think I'm ready?" Manang eyed me curiously.

" Nasa sa iyo na iyan Keiranz. The question is, do you think you're ready?"

Pumikit ako at huminga nang malalim bago pumunta sa kama niya.

I peeked under the bed and there is indeed an old shoe box.

I reached for it and bring it into a more clean space.

Binuksan ko yung box at nakakita ng mga envelope na siguro ay naglalaman ng mga sulat niya para sa amin.

I let out a shaky breath, brought the letters with me and went to where the others are.

" Here. It's from Nass" I coldly said. Napatingin silang lahat sa akin nang ibaba ko ang mga sulat sa coffee table na nasa gitna nung mga sofa.

Pumunta ako sa hagdan at umakyat sa kwarto ko.

The part that the fire took in is now repaired and renovated.

However, I didn't let them change the design of my room.

Umupo ako sa may tabi ng pinto ng kwarto ko sa labas.

This is where I first saw her...

My jaw tightens on what I'm about to do.

If I open this, that means I'm accepting that she's... gone.

" Nass." I mumbled.

My envelope has a heart shape on the upper left part.

I rubbed my thumb over that part of the paper.

Tumaas ang tingin ko sa kisame.

Contemplating if I should really do this...

" F*ck" binuksan ko ang envelope at kinuha ang isang nakatuping papel sa loob.

My heart sank when I saw the familiar handwriting.

To: Keiranz Andrew Marques... My Keian

Kung binabasa mo ito ngayon then that means something happened... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving you but I have to do this. I'm hoping that you will never have to open this letter pero anong magagawa ko kung binabasa mo na ito ngayon?

I'm afraid, baby... I don't know what should I do. I'm not confident I will be able to make it and if that happens, I need you to understand.

You don't need to say sorry for all the things you've done, I'm thankful for that, in fact. I thought that I won't be able to find someone else I care for deeply other than Brylle, yet, here we are. Here I am, writing a letter to one of the most amazing man I've ever met.

You're not perfect, yes, I know that. Wala namang taong perpekto. All of us have flaws and I know that you accepted that.

Kung magkikita man tayo sa susunod na buhay, hinihiling ko na nasa parehong setting pa rin tayo, pero hindi na sad ending, happy ending na. I want you to not feel guilty after doing such things to me. I'm not the girl who likes being in the dark. I want you to be honest.

Naiintindihan ko ang lahat ng nagawa mo so don't feel guilty.

What I want is for us to talk about it. You shouldn't run. Ayos lang na pag-usapan...

---  That's all for now. I want you baby to go to your father and talk to him. He'll tell you the next part of my letter.

Alam kong wala kang balak kausapin siya ngayon dahil kay Diego. But please, do it for me...

Sana hindi mo ito mabasa.

I won't be able to tell you this in person but I LOVE YOU...