Chapter 29: And you came to my life to tavel by my side

I spent Thursday afternoon searching just at the time, I had my handbag, where the clothes and my cosmetics went, a backpack on my back where I had the books and a pillow, a handbag with the shoes that I would wear on Saturday when we went to the disco and some sandals to go for a walk in the center of Mérida. That for me was light luggage, since I usually carried my extra large wheeled suitcase everywhere I went. When I looked for Ro she was waiting for me with a handbag that looked half empty when she would be staying for weeks in Mérida. I was going for a weekend and I was overloaded compared to her, I felt embarrassed. Rocío also noticed my excess luggage and didn't let it go when she told me that I looked like a “granny” with so many things on her. We arrived at the eastern terminal at five thirty in the afternoon, the bus would leave at six o'clock, we went to the ticket office to confirm our tickets and leave our luggage.

Rocío told me that she wanted to go to the bathroom and I accompanied her, I went into the bathroom with her, took the opportunity to urinate before getting on the bus, washed my hands and waited for her. I watched her through the lower slot of the urinal door where she had entered, I saw how her feet were pointing in front of the toilet and I was curious, because of my history of eating disorders the first thing that came to mind was that she was vomiting, but no. He made no strange noises, so I assumed he was just fixing something on his clothes, then he blew his nose several times, I heard them calling us to board our bus over the loudspeaker.

\- Ro, they are calling us

\- Already? I'm coming? – He opened the door to the bathroom stall and came out, his nose was red and he was cleaning it, my heart sank. He was using cocaine, he knew that smell very well, and the sound he was making was obvious, but how could I be sure? It could be that I suddenly had an allergy in my nose, but that specific smell...I was not in favor of drugs, I would never consume them in my life, but I did not judge people without knowing them just because I knew that they had an inclination towards them, in fact my friends from the University, David and Pollito, many times in the parties they even smoked marijuana while with me. I used to see the joint passed from hand to hand and they never offered it to me simply because they knew I didn't smoke marijuana. I had a friend at the University, Pollito, we called him Pollito because of his scruffy appearance that reminded us of the cow and chick cartoon, the consuMusa parakeet, and that was the main cause of his skinny and poorly fed appearance. Pollito always smelled like Perico and had ended up freezing the University due to concentration disorders developed as a result of his addiction.

He said that this disorder developed in distracted people, but it was more that he knew that cocaine contributed to accelerating the process of damaging his neurons. I loved Chick very much, my friends at the University put him aside because of his libertine way of being and his characteristically low grades. However, he was a completely tender, intelligent person and I could count on him unconditionally, on more than one occasion he stopped going drugging with his friends to accompany me on an errand, or he got me the number of a pretty lesbian. He would ask us out on blind dates that ended up being disappointing. I remember that time we went out with her friend “the strong one” when they premiered Eclipse at the San Ignacio. Pollito, David, “La Fuertecita” and I sat in the second row of the cinema, they were the only seats we got.David ended up sitting up on the stairs because his neck hurt, I followed him, and then Chick. Her friend “The Strong One” was left alone in the second row, naturally we did not go out again nor did she bother to write to me again. And just like that, he had prepared many blind dates for me that had failed embarrassingly.  He hoped he would recover soon, he had faith that one day he would be a great publicist and leave that addiction aside.

The fact that Rocío would travel with me on a sixteen-hour trip to Mérida in that state seemed really unbearable to me, her lack of consideration for me bothered me by not thinking that perhaps I would feel uncomfortable. He made it clear to me that he didn't like it nor was he interested in it at all, I imagined that he just wanted to get to Mérida to continue getting high there with his friends, and that he saw me as a stupid and deluded girl, too innocent to function, I already understood. her attitude towards me, I felt stupid for having thought that someone like her could notice someone like me. I sighed.

It didn't bother me that she took drugs, that was her life, it bothered me that she hid it from me and that I looked stupid by wanting to travel with me without telling me anything, it bothered me that she was so gullible to have thought that she could notice in me, and finally it bothered me to feel that way, and to realize that I really liked her and that I had no hope with her. I couldn't believe that I would lose my sociology midterm for being with a girl so selfish that the only thing that mattered to her was getting high and having fun and the only thing that mattered to me was spending time with her, the more I thought about all that the more idiotic I felt. . I wanted to run away, I thought I saw myself arriving home, hugging my pillow and starting to cry; but that wasn't the reality, the reality was that I was sitting there next to her while she looked out the window and I couldn't even see her eyes.