Chapter 10: Pleasure of being with my friends

She is not my friend, I just met her tonight – I said – And well, she paid for me to be let go, but it wasn't necessary, the nurse said I was fine.

Only a friend pays to make sure you’ll be safe – said the police officer.

A friend doesn't get you into trouble – I said angrily.

I understand – he said, looking at me closely; his eyes seemed to comprehend and analyze more than what I was sharing. He remained seated at the desk, drinking coffee. – What is her name? – I wanted to know.

Her name?

Yes – I murmured – I don’t know her. The police officer was about to tell me the name of the stranger, but at that moment my phone began to ring; it was Everth.

Musa, where are you? – Everth said.

Where are you? – I asked coldly as I answered the phone. As I left the police module, I could see that the nightclub was just two blocks away from the station. I walked in my 10 cm heels with the cold pinching my skin and observed the entrance of the nightclub. There were Luis and Everth.

Where the hell have you been, Musa?

Don’t talk to me like that. – I said grumpily – I’m fine, I was just sorting out a matter with a… “friend” – I added the last word thoughtfully. – Everything is fine – I said in a whisper, feeling very confused, staring intently at Everth; I felt safe when my eyes met those of my best friend.

Come on – said Luis, opening the door to his car. Then I got into the car with Everth at the wheel.

You’re driving? – I wanted to know.

Yes, Luis drank too much.

Alright, I think I drank too much too. Because I don’t remember and I don’t understand what happened – I said, although I remembered that the police test had come back with an acceptable level of alcohol.

And Meiby? – I asked, shrugging.

Weren’t you with Meiby? – Luis wanted to know.

I mean, is Meiby at home? – I asked.

Musa, of course Meiby is at home. We left her at her house with the taxi driver and then we went to pick up Luis, and well, you insisted on coming with me because you had a friend you wanted to see.

Did you find her? – Everth asked.

Who? – I wanted to know.

Your friend, Musa.

The truth is I don’t want to talk about it – I said thoughtfully; Everth was surely referring to my stranger, because a couple of hours ago I was dying to meet her, and now I wasn’t sure I wanted to see her again – I’ll talk to you later, and I’ll ask you some questions – I told Everth. While he got into the car and sat in the driver’s seat, I sat in the passenger seat and Luis sat in the back.

Maybe the best thing is to focus on Meiby and my studies; I want to be a journalist to always defend myself against any injustice – I said with a resolute tone.

That’s fine, I think that’s excellent – said Everth with both hands on the wheel.

And you have to be a lawyer in addition to being a dancer – I added.

Perfect, but don’t scold me – Everth said, laughing.

Okay, it’s just that life is wild and dangerous; we need to know how to take care of ourselves – I told him. Everth drove in silence to his house, and Luis fell asleep during the ride. I looked out the windows, observing the city lights. Or maybe starting from that night, I would never be able to forget that stranger who paid my bail, who almost got me accused of doing something illegal because of her, and who protected me, danced with me in such a sensual way. And apparently, I tried to protect her in a fight. How was it possible that I didn’t even know her name? And that I couldn’t remember any of that?“Today I saw her, today I saw her and she looked at me, today I believe in God.” Gustavo Adolfo Bécquer

The following days passed very quickly. I returned to Caracas at the end of that week, and I finally ended things with Meiby. When Everth told me that he had seen Meiby kissing another girl at the nightclub, days after I returned to Caracas, I had no doubt that it was time to end the relationship. We had also found out that Luis, Everth's boyfriend for three years, had kissed Meiby several times during their nights out. Luis finally couldn't bear the guilt and had confessed it to Everth a few days earlier. Honestly, I didn't take it badly; in fact, I was looking for a way to end our relationship without hurting Meiby, and it turned out she wasn't taking our relationship seriously. What a fool I was! I knew it would happen sooner or later, but I was surprised. Once again, I confirmed to myself that what greeting cards sold as love was just lies with a chocolate flavor.

It was over, it had ended (and to tell the truth, this is where the real story begins). A part of me, the most capricious one, thought about that stranger I had danced with at the nightclub and whom I hadn't heard from since that night. I knew nothing bad had happened to me because my grandmother's spirit protected me that night, but I was in danger because of that same attraction that made me want to know her. I wanted to get to know her and learn everything about her, but perhaps what happened was a sign to stay away from her. On the other hand, my more rational side knew that the chances of meeting her again were one in a million, and if that happened, the chances of her being half of what I expected— that sweet and sensual girl who could caress my soul in a dance— were nonexistent.

Still, breaking up with Meiby and not knowing anything about her helped me think and idealize my captivating stranger without any remorse. Everyone has had a casual encounter at some point, a fleeting moment with someone, dismissing any chance of meeting that person again. I didn't want to forget her, nor did I want to dismiss the possibility of seeing her again, no matter how small the expectation; it would live within me every time I set foot in the city of Mérida, visited nightclubs, or sat in a plaza to eat ice cream. Maybe out there somewhere at the same time and in that exact moment, we could meet again. That night, I had felt completely empty, and she had taken my loneliness and filled my life with excitement and adrenaline in an instant. Had I gone crazy? Would I ever feel that way again? The unexpected spark of a spontaneous dance, the chemistry of my body dancing alongside hers, made me feel we had a lot of connections in common. I had found her without knowing her name, without a clue of who she was, and she had unwittingly given me an excuse to give her a place in my memories.

It was a rainy and cold Sunday before the start of classes. I wrapped my bruised knees, a result of my recent attempts to practice a new yoga pose known as Bakásana, a kind of squat inversion where all my body weight was on both hands, keeping me suspended. I put on my headphones and listened to the song I had danced to with that stranger in the city of Mérida. The song "Rubia, Sol, Morena" by Caramelos de Cianuro. I played it over and over, reconstructing the scene of the dance in my mind and the missed opportunities; I hadn't even asked for her name out of consideration for Meiby, who had been unfaithful to me. I had lost all the chances; she was gone forever. I spent hours fantasizing about reliving that night and kissing her, hearing her name and her zodiac sign, and magically having the greatest compatibility in the zodiac, spending insatiable nights of wild sex, realizing she was the love of my life.

I drifted through dreams, sketching that face that had accepted me in that dance, walking on cotton candy illusions, getting lost in false episodes constructed in solitude. My stranger was there, in a thought suspended by time, there even in dreams I didn't understand, where I saw her face and felt her hands, and suddenly the dream would disappear, leaving me awake and confused