Chapter 7: Hindsight

Lucifer:

I look down at my mate’s crumpled form as she struggles with madness. She’s covered in demon blood, and her eyes are glowing like the sun. But there is no lucidity in that light. Despair, as I’ve never felt, fills me when she repeats the same phrase over and over again and claws at her delicate skin. “Lana, look at me…” I kneel down and gaze into her maddened eyes. “…please, look at me…” Lana is too far gone as blood pours from her lips, and she begins to gag. Seeing that she might die if I do not do anything, I place my hand over her head and make her insentient.

As soon as I do, all of the tension leaves her body, and she collapses into a faint. Reaching down, I carefully lift her into my arms and flash us out of the cave. Unsure of what to do, I lay her on the ground, appraise her battered form and heal as many wounds as I find. I vanish all of the blood and gore on her body before I push her now clean hair back from her delicate face. I don’t know what happened to Lana, but guilt assails me when I repeat what just occurred in my head. Based on her behavior and mad ramblings, I suspect that Lana’s angel suffered a punishment beyond death.

A popping sound snaps me from my thoughts at that moment. I look around until I see that there’s a communication device attached to Lana’s belt. “Are you there, Lana? Are you okay? I made it out of the cave and called our team. They’re on their way, so hang in there.”

Lana stirs at that moment, her eyes clear of madness as she gazes into my eyes curiously. “Lucifer?” she asked, confused. “What are you doing here?” she looks around and realizes that she’s no longer in the cave.

Her radio crackles, followed by the sound of the female urging Lana to reply. “Lana…Lana…are you there? Answer me, please.”

Lana sits up from her perch on the ground and wipes her brow before reaching for the device. “Jill? I’m…I’m okay,” she looks around again before she gazes intently into my eyes and answers. “Actually, I managed to get out. Give me a couple of minutes to get to you.”

The woman releases a sigh of relief, “Oh, thank goodness. I’ll tell the others. Signal me if you need help finding where we parked.”

Lana confirms, “Sure…just give me a couple of minutes.”

She settles the radio back down on the floor and mutters. “What happened?”

My brow furrows with confusion. Once again, Lana has managed to forget what just occurred. I don’t know whether to be angry or grateful for the whole situation. Considering how maniacal she acted and how ravaged she looked before I took her out of the cave, I choose to be grateful.

Opting to give her a condensed explanation, I take her hand and help her stand. “It seems that you were trapped in one of the caverns. You were acting a bit mad and fell unconscious before I flashed us out.”

She looks down at her dusty clothes and places her palm on her head with a grimace. “I guess I freaked out. Thanks for helping me.”

I nod and snap forward when she stumbles. Holding her close, I look into her honey-colored eyes and help her steady herself.

Lana places her hands on my shoulder and clings to me. Unwilling to look away, I angle my head toward hers until our lips are a hairsbreadth away. It’s probably not a brilliant idea to kiss her, but my body and mind disagree. Before either of us can protest, I crush my lips to her luscious ones. Her breath hitches and a soft mewl escapes her lips as our tongues and lips lock tightly. If I had to choose a word to describe her kiss, I’d say she tastes like heaven. Her pillowy soft lips search mine, and our tongues glide and tangle. My hands wander up her waist, mapping her spine as hers wrap around my neck.

Moving forward, I walk us both to a nearby wall until her back is flush against it and wrap her long, slender legs around my waist. We cling together as our hungry lips and hands mold and caress. In my long existence, I’ve never felt so consumed by a kiss. Sliding my hands beneath the hem of her top, I touch the sensitive skin of her flat stomach and move further up until I’m engulfing her firm breasts between my fingers. To my delight, she isn’t wearing a brassiere. Her bare breasts are supple and silky between my fingers. Lana arches her back and cries out as I tweak her tight bud and squeeze the soft globe. My jean-covered cock grinds against her shorts, desperate for entrance inside her tight sheath. Even between the layers of our clothing, I can feel the heat of her hot center.

Lana moves her fingers between my torn shirt and caresses my sinewy pectoral and abs. Thankfully, I heal easily, so she is unaware of the damage she reaped on my person earlier.

As the kiss deepens and our bodies sensuously move against each other, pleasure builds inside my shaft. Seeing that I’m close to climaxing, I slow her movements and kiss my way down her jaw. Lana cries out when I nip the chord of her neck and slides her fingers through my hair as she arches her back and moves her breasts close to my wandering lips. Looking down, I can see the outline of her tight little nipples through her navy tank top. I cannot resist her lure as I suck one of the hard buds in my mouth until the cloth clings to it and move to the other breast and do the same thing, eliciting mewls of pleasure from Lana’s lips. After a moment, Lana groans, and her body shudders above me as her climax works through her body. Unable to wait for another second, I rub my cock against her center and find my release as my essence bursts inside of my knickers.

Chest’s heaving, Lana and I look at each other with amazement. Unfortunately, the moment is ruined when her radio crackles with the annoying female’s voice. “Are you alright, Lana? How far are you?”

Lana’s face pales as she realizes what we have just done. Without a word, she wriggles out of my grip and straightens her clothing. Still feeling the aftereffects of our passion, I broodingly observe as she responds to her friend. “Just a few more minutes, Jill.”

Looking down at my torn and rumpled shirt, I flatten it out and mutter. “We probably shouldn’t have done that.”

Lana snorts in disbelief. “Gee, you think?”

She turns in place as she tries to adjust her clothing and mumbles. “This was definitely a mistake. I mean, you’re like the devil. What would you want with someone like me?”

I open my lips to retort but close them back up and choose not to answer. To be candid, I do not have a brilliant comeback for what just occurred. I can say that it was spontaneous, but that would lead to a deeper discussion that I refuse to have. The truth is, I want Lana, and if she wasn’t my mate, I would have already taken her to my bed, pleasured her, and left a very satisfied woman before I moved on to my next conquest. However, even that is an untruth because something tells me I would never grow tired of Lana. In fact, I think I would become addicted to her, which is another danger in itself. With a snap of my fingers, I clean our passionate encounter from my body.

“It seems that we’re in agreement then,” I reply carefully. “I shall take you to your friend.”

At my cold tone, Lana gives me a stiff nod and lets me take her hand. Seeing that I cannot appear in front of her associate, I flash us behind one of the rocks near the vehicle. Lana swallows hard and mutters, “I got this, thanks.”

Before I can reply, she steps around the vehicle and meets up with her friend. The Rubenesque beauty throws her arms around Lana and smiles happily. “Oh my gosh, I’m so relieved that you’re alright. I was so scared when I left you in there. I swear I could hear things crawling around.”

Lana pats the female’s back and sighs. “Yeah, it was scary, but I was able to get out.” Without looking back at me, she leads the girl to the vehicle. “I’m so tired, Jill. Can we go now?”

Once she had driven off, I flash myself back to the cave and search the area. The grotesque remains of the Arachnia demons adorn the cave walls and ground. Looking around, I see a couple of locust carcasses mixed with the demon blood. I squat down and search the area from where the creature’s exited. My brow furrows with consternation. Considering that they retreated when she ordered them to, I’d say Lana also called those creatures forward. I think about her mad ramblings and try to decipher the things she said. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think she was possessed. But humans who are possessed usually spout profane words or scriptures. They also tend to calm once they see me. After all, I am the devil, and all demons bow down to me. Her angel’s behavior was manic and calculating, which is contrary to how heavenly angels act. Not that all angels are…well, angelic. However, her angel seemed mentally unstable. Angels do not have the wherewithal for lunacy. It would make me question if her mental state deteriorated before or after she was made human. Every part of my being balked at the idea that she is this way because of what I’ve done.

Still feeling bothered by her easy dismissal of our intimate moment, I head back to hell. The urge to find another woman who can slate my lust flitters through my mind, but my body grows cold at the prospect. Feeling frustrated, I text the one person in the world who I never thought I would.

Azazel glares at me from across the bar as soon as he sees me walk in. Men and women stop and stare as I maneuver my way through the dance floor. Some approach me with blatant invitations, while others swoon at my presence. I ignore all of their overtures. It’s not the first or the last time I’ll have to reject sexual advances.

Keeping his eyes on me, Azazel gestures for me to follow him into his office. Once I’m inside, he closes the door behind him and motions for me to take a seat. I look around the comfortable office, my keen eyes taking in the pleasant décor.

“Why are you here?” Azazel bluntly asks.

I give him my trademark smile as I take a seat. I know that I should probably be gracious, considering that I’m the one that asked to speak to him. But I take a great deal of pleasure in vexing him.

His golden eyes narrow with anger, and his golden hair flickers beneath the dim light. We make a good contrast for each other. Where Azazel is golden, I’m dark. “I never told you why I held so much enmity toward you.” I unwittingly state.

Azazel arches a golden brow. “Is this what you came to talk to me about?”

I shake my head and grimace. ‘No, it’s not. In fact, I didn’t expect those words to come out of my lips. Yet now that I’m sitting before you, I feel like I should explain my misplaced anger.”

Azazel places his folded hands on top of his desk and tightens his lips. “Alright, let’s hear it then. Why have you been such a sodding wanker toward me to the point that you murdered my mate as some form of misguided retribution?”

I look down at my hands carefully before I reply. “You’re right. What I did to Zoe was reprehensible. I’ll be honest and say that I didn’t think about it before. But now that I know what The Creator did to my own mate, I can see how wrong it was.”

His expression remates neutral. “You still haven’t told me why.”

“Did you know that you look a lot like my brother, Michael?”

He frowns. “I do?”

I nod. “Michael’s hair is a rich russet, and his eyes are s green as a forest, but your height and facial features are similar. We were as thick as thieves—or so I thought. He was the only being that I loved. For centuries we lived in heaven and fought side by side. I thought nothing could separate us. Well, nothing except for The Creator.” I glance back at Azazel, but my thoughts are thousands of years away. “I don’t know how, but at some point, The Creator must have seen our brotherly love as a challenge because he eventually began to pit us against each other. At first, it was a subtle comment here and there about how one did better than the other. Then, it escalated when he’d send me on missions that Michael requested and vice versa until resentment took root in our souls. He continued to sow descent inside of us until we could barely stand to be in the same room. It finally came to a conclusion when Michael discovered that I was visiting earth and emulating humans. He became angry that I preferred a human’s presence over that of my own kind. Eventually, The Creator blatantly showed favoritism for my brother, in the process making me feel abandoned. Like any young man—or angel in our case—I rebelled to show that I wasn’t weak or unwanted. I began to fornicate and lie as humans did. I stupidly thought that if I acted like I didn’t care, my brother would somehow see that I needed him. Even if it was to reprimand me for my arrogance. I was so foolish. But even then, I thought Michael would have my back and see my pain.”

Azazel’s expression shutters. “What did Michael do?”

I give him a bleak smile. “Michael went to father and told him everything that I was doing. I felt so betrayed. Rather than see that I was hurting, Michael saw my rebellion as evil and irredeemable.” I swallow down the anguish that still threatens to cut me at my brother’s treachery. “When The Creator and Michael approached me, I spoke out of turn and blathered about how much better humans had it and how I wished I could be like them. Of course, I never realized the repercussions of my disputes. I just wanted my brother. I didn’t care about The Creator. What I wanted was to have my brother back. It hurt profoundly when Michael did nothing as he watched me fall. The Creator gladly tore out my angel wings and pushed me over the edge as if I was yesterday’s rubbish. The one person that I loved the most let me go without argument. Centuries later, a young demon that looked similar to my brother came to me and became one of my favored generals until he, too, betrayed me. I don’t expect you to understand how much your dissention stung. But at the moment, it felt like you plunged a knife into my back.”

Azazel’s jaw ticks with untold emotion. He opens and closes his mouth several times until he comes to a conclusion. Leaning forward in his chair, he places his elbow on the table and runs his thumb across his lower lip. “Though I’d love to stab you in the heart for what you did to Zoe, I can recognize the pain you felt at Michael’s desertion. When I lost Samael, I felt like my world was gone. He was my brother of the heart. I can’t even concede doing to him what Michael did to you. I said this to you once before; I don’t know if I can forgive you, but I can see that you’re genuinely pained by what you’ve done because now you know what I suffered. It must eat at you to know what Lana has suffered because of your actions.”

I nod solemnly and rub the bridge of my nose. “It does. What is worse is that I don’t know what to do with all of these feelings that she has awakened inside of me.”

I look at Azazel, who in turn gives me an incredulous stare that quickly turns into a knowing snicker. “Mates are amazingly humble things to be gifted with. When I first saw Zoe, I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest. I didn’t think anyone could own me so completely or that I could feel so much.”

A part of me rebels at his words, but another concedes the truth in them. Since I met Lana, I’ve felt like a puzzle piece that was missing inside of me was finally put in place. “I don’t want to want Lana. But when I look and touch her, I feel like I’ve found where I belong.” I mumble sincerely.

Azazel gives me an agreeable nod. “But you don’t believe that it’s true?” he asks, shrewdly. “You think that the moment you accept that she’s yours, The Creator will appear and snatch her from your grasp?”

His astute statement brings to light my hidden fears. I feel like he has laid bare every emotion that I feel to the world, and it’s terrifying. “I don’t think, Azazel. I know he will. I saw her earlier, and…” I lean back, remembering Lana’s behavior. “…she was trapped in a cave, but it wasn’t her any longer. It was her angel, and she was acting mad.”

Azazel frowns. “How so?”

I glide my tongue across my teeth and click my tongue. “For one, Lana was attacked by Arachnia demons while she was in the cave, and she ordered a horde of locusts to kill them. Then she began rambling some rhyme about some old lady who swallowed a spider. Her moods would shift from gleeful about all of the death around her to anger at me for what she has suffered. I had to stop her from hurting herself.”

He gives me a grave nod. “You think there’s something wrong with her?”

“I don’t want to, but you have to admit that’s not angelic behavior.”

His brow furrows. “Perhaps it’s her human identity that is affecting her?”

I shake my head. “I would like to think that it’s her human shell, but it’s not. Her angel is the one who rebuked me about my fall. She kept saying that my freedom came with a price.”

Wiping my palm against my lips, I rise from the chair and pace in place. “I’m telling you, Azazel, I don’t think The Creator is done with Lana. And I definitely do not believe that this is completely about restoring the balance now that you’ve been reunited with Zoe and Fallon has found Bree. No, there’s something else we’re missing.”

Azazel looks at a loss. “Did you see her manifest any other powers?”

I shake my head. “No, I haven’t. But I get the feeling that she has a lot more power than we’ve yet to see. The Creator has always taken pride in creating new, more powerful creatures. Considering Lana is the first archangel female, I’m sure she was imbued with more power than any of the males created.”

“Do you think this may be the reason her angel is acting so barmy?”

Defeat weighs on me at his words. “I…I don’t know. What I do know is that if we do not find out why she’s acting this way, things might worsen, and many will suffer.”

He looks on thoughtfully, “Tell me something…” he looks up and proceeds when I nod. “If you and Michael have such enmity between you, how are you back on speaking terms?”

My lip curls with contempt. “We are not necessarily on speaking terms. We merely communicate when it’s out of necessity.”

Azazel arches a questioning brow, urging me to elaborate.

“Ironically, Michael eventually fell and ultimately needed a means to survive. Being the benevolent bloke that I am, I granted him the help in exchange for future favors. Even Michael was pragmatic enough to see that he was a babe in the woods, which is why he readily agreed to become my bitch.”

Azazel chuckles. “And I’m sure Michael has loathed every moment of it.”

I shrug. “I won’t pretend that I don’t take a great deal of pleasure in ceding Michael tasks that other angels would consider beneath them.”

Azazel’s amusement grows. It’s the first time that we’ve had camaraderie without an underlying message of contempt. My amusement fades quickly as the subject of our discussions moves prominently to the front of my mind. “What if he sent her here to hurt Lana, and in turn, hurt me?”

Azazel slides his fingers through his hair and puffs out a breath. “Do you mean, what if he sent her here for you to fall in love with her and then hurt you once you’ve both found your happiness?”

I give him a slow nod and murmur my reply, “Yes, that.”

Azazel shrugs. “I don’t know, Lucifer. Believe it or not, I care for Lana. Zoe thinks of her as a little sister, and it would pain me greatly if she was hurt. All I can say is you should not let the prospect of what The Creator might do stop you from accepting such a wonderful gift. I can tell you, as someone who has lived without one for thousands of years, it’s an amazing feeling to finally find the other half of your soul.”

I gaze into his genuinely sincere eyes and confess something that I didn’t I would say out loud either. “I never imagined that he’d grant me a mate. If The Creator wanted to hurt me, he’d see that it’s killing me to know that my ignorance of her existence has hurt her. There are so many things I would have changed if I had known.”

“But there’s really no point in think about it now, right? All that you can do is move forward,” he states.

“Yes, you’re right. I guess since I cannot change the past, I need to focus on the future. I just don’t know what to do since she detests me.”

Azazel snorts. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

I shake my head. “She thinks I’m a git.”

He laughs and slyly retorts, “Well, you are a git, but I’m sure that she can look past that.”

I reply with a cocky smirk. “I know that I’m absolutely gorgeous, but I don’t think my usual tricks work on Lana. In fact, she has made it clear that she wants nothing to do with me.”

“Have you and Lana...?” he raises his brows suggestively.

“We have, and we haven’t,” I reply vaguely. “Let’s just say that Lana told me to sod off before we reached a pivotal point.”

Azazel throws his head back and laughs boisterously. “Oh bloody hell, it’s all just a game, mate. Zoe also disliked me the first time we met. Sometimes she’d kiss me, and sometimes she’d tell me to wank off. It’s all part of the chase. You probably don’t remember that feeling because females fall at your feet—which I should warn you; do not share that tidbit with Lana. Women hate it when you bring up old conquests. Zoe almost cut off my bollocks when she heard that Nevaeh and I shared a moment years before Zoe and I met. I had to do a lot of groveling. It wasn’t pleasant.”

Once again, I find myself amused by our easy banter.

I’m about to reply, but the door opens at that moment and in walks Azazel’s mate, Zoe. Her dark brow arches with shock as soon as she sees me. “Hey, babe…Lucifer?” she mumbles without taking her eyes off me. Zoe is a stunning woman with rich toffee-colored locks and eyes the color of the ocean. Her Siren genes definitely contribute to her exotic look, with her voluptuous figure, tilted cat eyes, and full lips.

My lip quirks, “Hello.”

Azazel rises from his perch and wraps his arms around her waist. “Hello, gorgeous. Lucifer just stopped in to talk. Did I miss a date?”

She gives him a loving smile and reciprocates his embrace. “No, I just wanted to see you because I was missing you. Is that a problem?”

Azazel’s eyes gleam with love as he caresses his fingers down her silken jaw. It’s almost disconcerting how lovestruck he looks. “Of course not, my love. You know that I miss you every moment that we are apart.”

I clear my throat to remind the enamored couple of my presence. Azazel smirks. “Lucifer needed female advice.”

I snort. “I do not need female advice, you wanker. Just look at me.” I gesture to my face and form.

Zoe laughs. “Oh, I see that you’re also suffering from “hot guy psychosis.”

I look at Azazel, who turns to her and gives her a curious look. “What the bloody hell is “hot guy psychosis?”

Zoe pushes him back into his seat and snickers. “Well, it’s a condition where attractive men forget how to woo women properly because they are so used to women throwing themselves at them.” She looks at Azazel and mutters. “I’m afraid you used to suffer from that until I set you straight, baby.”

Azazel pulls her into his lap and kisses her soundly before he looks back at me. “Sometimes, it takes a beautiful woman like mine to make men like us change our rakish ways. I have faith that Lucifer will learn. As you Americans say, even an old dog can learn new tricks.”

They both laugh at my scowl. If it was any other person, I’d rip them to pieces for their irreverence. But I can feel that they are being cheeky, so I let it go.

“You two are perfect for each other, you know?”

Zoe tightens her arms around Azazel’s neck and nods. “Of course, we are.”

“Well, as much as I enjoy a good threesome, which I’m sure that this is not where this is heading, I need to go.”

Zoe rolls her eyes. “See, this is what I’m talking about. Simply because you’re hot, it doesn’t mean you can get away with sounding like a douche bag.”

I smirk with bemusement when she steps forward and points her index finger against the center of my chest. “Saying stupid things like that is what gets guys like you in trouble. Do not do it again.”

I face Azazel and give him a look that asks him to handle his woman, but Azazel simply shrugs. “She’s right, mate.”

I give Zoe a gentlemanly vow as I take a step back from her lethal finger and mutter. “I will heed your advice. For now, I’m going to focus on taking care of Lana. Call me if you find anything.”

Without another word, I flash myself out of the club, go back to hell, and continue to sift through all of the ancient tomes in my library.

Seeing that Michael will not meet with me for a couple of days, I try to distract myself from thinking about Lana by researching and discussing hell issues with my lords. Unfortunately, I can’t hold off for longer before I convince myself to see her. What can I say? I’m obsessed.