Chapter 19: Red Eyes In The Dark

༺𝓣𝓐𝓡𝓐༻

I fucken want you, Tara… I need you, in every way imaginable.

The words Jaxon whispered wouldn’t leave me alone.

They echoed in my mind like a curse, like a promise I never asked for, replaying over and over until my temples throbbed. And the worst part?

I wasn’t angry at him.

No. I was angry at myself. For not pushing him away. For not telling him to stop.

For standing there, frozen and breathless, as though my body had betrayed every vow my mind had ever made.

Just weeks ago, I had spat those words at him with venom in my voice. That I could never love a monster like him. I had meant it then. I had believed it with every shattered piece of my heart.

And yet there I was.

Standing in the ruins of my certainty, caught between fury and desire.

I blamed the fucken bond.

It wrapped around my thoughts like invisible chains, tugging me toward him no matter how hard I resisted. It whispered lies, softened edges, made his nearness intoxicating instead of terrifying.

Either way, you can’t deny the fact that he’s insanely attractive, a traitorous voice murmured.

And so what? I shot back at myself. It didn’t change the truth. It didn’t erase what he was.

A monster.

But what confused me the most was him. One moment he he wants nothing to do with me, as though my presence annoyed him, and the next moment, he wanted me.

Needed me.

His words burned with heat and hunger that felt too real to be faked.

But I couldn’t pretend innocence either. My reaction at the hot spring had mirrored his. So maybe we were both to blame. Maybe we were both losing control and giving in to the bond.

After Jaxon left with the guard, silence followed.

Heavy. Suffocating.

I barely had time to steady myself before the guard returned, bowing his head stiffly.

Apparently, Jaxon had sent him back to escort me.

I excused myself to dress, pulling on my clothes and slipping into my shoes with trembling fingers. The walk back felt longer than usual.

The guard didn’t meet my eyes.

He kept a careful distance ahead of me, as if afraid to step into whatever fragile thing had just shattered between the Alpha and me. His restraint only deepened my humiliation, and I burned with the knowledge that someone had seen me in such an intimate moment with Jaxon.

I could still feel the heat of his body, the way his gaze had stripped me bare without a single touch. No one had ever looked at me like that—with such fierce longing, such consuming intent.

It made my core ache.

The guard slowed and cleared his throat. “My apologies, Luna,” he said stiffly. “I didn’t realize earlier that you were with him.”

“It’s fine,” I replied quickly.. “And I’m not your Luna.” I added.

He glanced back at me, a small smile tugging at his lips. “You practically are.”

I shook my head, offering no reply. The words felt too heavy to argue against.

When we reached my chamber, he bowed once and left without another word. The doors closed softly behind me, sealing me in familiar quiet.

Only then did I exhale.

I leaned against the wall, eyes slipping shut as my heart pounded wildly against my ribs. Get it together, Tara.

Crossing the room, I washed my face and changed into a soft blue nightdress, the fabric cool against my overheated skin. I sat on the edge of the bed before lying back, the mattress dipping beneath my weight. Above me, the canopy swayed faintly, shadows dancing across the ceiling.

I stared at it, willing my thoughts to slow.

They refused.

Minutes bled into hours before a knock finally broke my thoughts.

Zetha, the head cook, stood at my door with a tray balanced carefully in her hands. I stepped aside to let her in.

“I’m sorry Kiera couldn’t bring your food today,” she said apologetically.

“No,” I replied quickly. “It’s fine.”

She set the tray down and left with a nod.

The scent of food filled the room. It was warm and comforting. Grilled fish lay atop a bed of seasoned rice, its skin crisped to a golden brown. It was garnished with fresh herbs, slices of lemon, and a light pepper sauce that glistened under the candlelight. Steamed vegetables sat neatly to the side.

I stared at it for a long moment.

The fish reminded me of Lexi.

My chest tightened as memories flooded in. Her little purrs, the way she would circle my legs impatiently whenever she smelled food. I could almost feel her warmth pressed against me.

Nina would have been behind me, phone in hand, muttering half-formed thoughts aloud.

The ache hit hard.

I pressed a hand to my chest, swallowing past the lump in my throat. I had thought I would have escaped by now. Thought I’d have found the perfect opportunity.

But the days kept slipping through my fingers.

I picked up my fork and began to eat slowly. Halfway through, my appetite vanished. I set the tray aside and moved toward the dresser, stopping abruptly at the odd outline in the floor.

My heart raced.

Using the fork, I pried the stone loose and retrieved the folded map hidden beneath. Spreading it across the bed, I traced my finger along the familiar routes.

By now, I recognized every corridor, every passageway. My finger slid toward the garden, stopping at a small marking.

SAFE.

My breath caught.

Was this it?

A way out without alerting the guards…or Caden?

The thought of Caden made my chest tighten. I had avoided him since his kiss with the lady in the garden, unable to face the questions in his eyes.

Decision hardened within me.

I packed a small bag quickly, stuffing essentials inside before tucking the map away. Outside, the sky had darkened. Evening had settled in.

Perfect.

All I had to do was leave without Jaxon’s beast sensing me.

I cracked the door open and scanned the hallway.

Empty.

Perfect.

I slipped out, moving silently through the corridors, hugging shadows and memorized turns. My heart pounded with every step, but no alarm was raised. No growl echoed behind me. Somehow, I made it past the inner grounds and into the garden.

Moonlight bathed the space in silver. The air smelled of earth and night-blooming flowers. I walked quickly, pulse roaring in my ears, fingers clenched tight around the strap of my bag.

Then—

A low growl cut through the stillness.

I froze.

That couldn't be Jaxon because I didn’t feel the humming of the bond when he was nearby.

Slowly, dread crawling up my spine, I turned.

Red eyes gleamed from the shadows.

A beast laid there, massive and grotesque, saliva dripping from its bared fangs.

I fell on my butt. It was terrifying, yet beautiful. Like grace wrapped in death. It was enormous, with thick black fur streaked with silver, powerful limbs and long curved claws that sank into the earth.

My breath hitched.

There was not a single trace of recognition in its eyes as it locked with mine.