Chapter 29 it would be her kissing him, instead of the other way around
“I mean, don’t get me wrong. They were my parents, and I loved them. I still love them but after hearing the horrible things they did, a part of me thinks that…”
He couldn’t continue. His voice was shaking, down to a whisper now. His thought remained unsaid, but Izabella knew what he wanted to reveal.
“It’s okay,” she placed her hand gently on his shoulder.
He turned to her and gave her a weak but grateful smile.
“Sorry about this,” he suddenly perked up. “I wanted you to join me for a coffee and now I’m being all pathetic here, talking about my dead parents.”
“No, no, it’s okay,” she assured him. “I totally understand and it’s okay if you want to talk about it. I don’t mind.”
“I don’t want to bother you.”
“You’re not,” she lifted her cup. “Look. It’s empty.”
He looked at the cup, then at her.
“You’re still here,” he smiled more cheerfully now.
“See?” she teased. “I actually like this guy better than the cocky jock.”
The moment she said it, she realized something. Could it be that he was being mean just to hide his pain?
“I guess I do cross the line sometimes,” he admitted.
“Sometimes?” she repeated. “The first time we met, you made my friend go away, like she was a dog or something. That was very rude.”
“Oh, really?” he asked, gliding his fingers through his sleek hair but a few strands fell over his face and eyes.
She had no idea how someone could look so effortlessly gorgeous. Good genes, probably.
“I’ll have to apologize to her.”
“Apologize?” she wondered. “You?”
“I was probably with the guys when that happened.”
“That’s no excuse,” she scolded him.
“I know,” he looked down at his feet and picked at some grass around his sneakers.
“I’m not saying it to make you feel bad,” she explained, “but you really come off as an asshole.”
“That’s not my intention.”
“Then what is your intention?”
“I guess I just want everyone to respect me.”
“Funny way of trying to gain respect,” she snorted.
“I don’t want anyone to know that I’m hurt or sad, when I feel like that. I want everyone to always see me as the winner, never a loser.”
“What’s wrong with being a loser?” she asked.
“Are you serious?” he frowned.
“Totally,” she nodded.
“Who’d ever want to be a loser?”
“I’m a loser,” Izabella gave a dismissive half-shrug. “I actually value the experience of not getting what I want immediately.”
“How do you do that?”
“Well, it means I didn’t do something the way I was supposed to. I need to learn something new and that’s what we all need to do. But, you, and people like you, have this weird idea that you’re God’s gift to Earth and you know everything. Like, you don’t need to learn anything new and that’s not true. We’re all here to learn and one of the best, most effective ways to learn is from your mistakes.”
He listened to her intently and she could see in his eyes that he was warming up to the idea.
“I guess no one ever told me that version,” he admitted. “The way you put it, it really doesn’t suck to be a loser.”
“That’s the spirit,” she laughed, “and besides, guys like you could never be losers.”
“Guys like me?”
His eyes lit up, realizing she’d just handed him a compliment, without even realizing.
“Well, you know…” she was a little confused and tried to get out of it, but tough luck.
He wasn’t going to let her.
“No, I don’t,” he grinned, “tell me.”
“Um, I… you know… well…”
Instead of replying, he helped her by cupping her chin with his fingers, turning her to face him and then pressing his lips against hers. Izabella closed her eyes, and inside her mind, she could see fireworks. She could hear fireworks. All around them, the woods were still. The moon was shining as mightily as it could and stars flickered. Izabella’s head was spinning, as his lips simply lay there on top of hers - a perfect fit.
There was no tongue, even though she was expecting it. When he pulled back a second later, she felt almost cheated that there was no French kissing, but then, she
realized that this was all the more special.
“Sorry…” he smiled. “You were just so adorable, I had to do that.”
She couldn’t help smiling, too. At the same time though, she was angry with herself for liking it so much, for kissing him back. That wasn’t the plan, at least it wasn’t hers.
“It’s getting late,” she said, suddenly putting on her socks and shoes, and jumping up to her feet.
“Did I do something?” he asked, worried, also getting up on his feet.
“No, I just….” she wanted to give him an explanation but it was hard, because she herself didn’t have it. “It’s late, I have to go back.”
She rushed to her dorm, without even saying goodbye to him. She just couldn’t. Her cheeks were too flushed and she was scared that the second time, it would be her kissing him, instead of the other way around.