Bram closed the bathroom door behind him. What the hell was he doing? He shouldn’t have come here, and he should never have entered that room. Watching as her silhouette showering had driven him near mad. He’d wanted desperately to crawl inside that shower and thinking about what he could do to her… Bram covered his face. Then she’d stuck her head out and talked about how she wasn’t beautiful. Was she kidding? She’d fascinated him from the moment he watched her get pulled through the house by Devon.
He’d known she was beautiful, but when he had gotten to the hotel and saw her in that red bikini, it had stirred something in him that he’d assumed was long lost. His chest felt like it was on fire. He’d been tempted to burry himself in her as she opened that shower door, laughing. Despite everything he’d put her through earlier, she still had Devon laughing, and she was still here. “Dad?” Devon called, looking over. “Leave her alone. I really like her. Please be nice.” His son’s soft blue eyes stared at him from across the room, and he nodded.
“I’m trying really hard, Devon. I swear.”
As their blue eyes met, Bram saw himself in his son’s eyes. “Try harder.” His son frowned.
“Yeah, I hear you.” Bram nodded at Devon, “I’m going to go take a quick shower. Are you good?”
“Yep. Go take a very cold shower and be nice.”
Bram couldn’t get her out of his head, and his shower literally took him two minutes. He was back at the table before she came out, just waiting to see her. As the door opened, her in that stupid, yet funny, t-shirt he’d picked out for her, showing her shoulder and barely covering her thighs, he felt his desire stir all the more. Sipping his whiskey, she smiled, “Well, I feel about a thousand times better.” She smiled. Walking toward the table. “Devon?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you good? Do you need anything?” She asked, seeing he was still curled up in the blankets.
“No thank you.” His head popped up, smiling. “I’m good.” Bram didn’t miss the angry look he got from Devon. The BITE ME shirt wasn’t a hit for him. He was the only one who found it amusing here, but he still liked it. A lot.
“Great. Go ahead and watch your show, I’d like to talk to dad for a while.” Devon glared at Bram for a moment before turning back to her.
“You sure you don’t want to watch a movie with me?” Devon asked.
“I do, and we will, but I really need to talk to your dad for a minute.” She answered. Pulling out the chair across from him. She was looking at him all too seriously now. “I need to know what happened today.” She folded her hands on the table, watching him with those amazing green eyes.
Bram frowned. He didn’t want to get into this conversation. “I had a moment earlier. I do apologize for it and have kept it in check for a long time. I told Tyler it wasn’t a good time.” Bram looked away from her, unable to meet those eyes. That was all he was going to say. At least he kept telling himself that over and over.
“What happened, Bram? I have to know. Is Devon safe here with you?” Her tone and look took on a serious note.
“Usually. Not today. That’s why I allowed him to leave with you. I don’t normally go off and have a fit like that.” He looked away, unable to look her in the eye as he said those words.
“I need to know what happened, otherwise I can’t be part of this. And I can’t let him stay in a home that could be volatile. Please. If there is an underlying issue, we need to deal with it.” He could tell she was being genuine. All of her was. From the flutter of her heart to the way she was looking at him.
Bram sighed, taking out the only card he had. “I look like a disgusting monster after today, and for that, I can’t apologize enough. I know that when you look at my files, it’s as clean as a whistle, but that’s only because I wiped it clean. I haven’t had any of these issues since I adopted Devon, and I’m so sorry that they reared up today.” He had to force his eyes away from her, she was too captivating.
“What happened though?” He could tell she wasn’t asking for herself by the way her heart thrummed in her chest. It had been a thousand times faster when he was in the bathroom with her. So, he could only assume she truly cared for his son.
Bram gave her a half smile. “All the money in the world can’t protect you.” Fuck. What did he just say to her?
“I know it can’t.” She was still looking him dead in eye.
“Look, I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I had every opportunity money can buy. But, I didn’t grow up happily.” He still couldn’t look at her, and he already knew he was telling too much. “I grew up. Despite both my parents being absent most of the time. Or, if they were around, they were beating me. I never wanted any of that for Devon. PTSD is something I’ve delt with for a long time. Not only because of how I was raised, but I was in the war too. Those things do something to your mind, and it’s never quite right after. I was on medication for it for the longest time but haven’t had an episode in years. My doctor took me off the medication about two years ago.” He was paying attention to the whiskey in his cup, swirling it around, avoiding that gaze.
“Do you know what triggered it?”
“I think it started with the blood and escalated when you became angry with me. But that’s only a guess. I’m not really certain.” He looked upset, “I’ll keep better control of it next time.”
“You are aware that’s part of having PTSD? Sometimes you can’t control it. You can only make sure you have a safe plan for when it happens, and make sure those who are close to you know how to support you.” Her hand reached across the table, covering Bram’s.
Pulling away from her touch, Bram took a long swig of his whiskey, placing the cup down gently once it was empty. “Look, I would understand if you didn’t want to have anything to do with us. I’ll be taking the next few days off from work to figure out Devon’s birthday plans and try to get some more rest. I can find someone else before I go back.”
Devon was now watching them. His large blue eyes peeking just over the back of the sofa. The blanket wrapped around the top of his head. Bram almost hoped she would leave. She was too nice to stay with them, and it would be too dangerous for her. Yet, just like his son, he secretly hoped she’d stay.
The chair creaked over the wood floor as she pushed it back, standing up. As she rounded the table, she stopped in front of him. “You also have trust issues. How many people leave you? Have you ever thought that they shouldn’t have? That it’s not your fault?” Izabella caught him by surprise as she rounded his chair, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, hugging him close. “No one deserves to be alone. I hope you’ll let me help you.”
Devon jumped down from the coach, jumping into Bram’s arms, hugging them both. “Yeah, daddy, we’ll all help.”
Bram frowned. If only she knew that people did just leave him, they usually didn’t make it out if his life alive.