Chapter 15: Chapter Fourteen

SHE opened the door carefully and stepped out of the bathroom. It took almost an hour before she finished shower, yet Roeden was still sitting on the sofa, busy with his laptop. Avon prowled behind him to take a look at what he was doing.

Roeden was looking at the sketches. Some of the characters’ faces were quite familiar to her, so her instinct told her that those were for the game his company and their publishing were collaborating with. Then, this one character made her feel like she was looking at an animated version of her.

“Did you draw that?” she could not help but ask.

Roeden flinched in surprise. He turned in her direction with narrowed eyes.

“How did you get there?”

It was her turn to narrow her eyes on him. “Why are you asking me? Of course, I walked. Do you think I can teleport?” Avon snorted and strode to the other side. She sat beside him, leaving no space between them. “It’s just that you’re too busy to notice me. So, did you draw this?” She poked his laptop’s screen.

“Yes.”

“Why does it look exactly like me?”

Roeden turned his gaze on her. “Before I made this sketch, I read your series. It’s you whom I visualize whenever I came across Avonlea’s character in that series. So, I thought it would be nice to make her look like you.”

She did base Avonlea’s character on herself, while the others were based on friends she met online, who later became her own readers and supporters. She dedicated the series to them as a way of thanking them for their love and support.

Avon leaned on her seat and put her feet above the center table. “Then, Kiora must look like you.”

“Why? Is it because he was Avonlea’s partner in the story?” Kiora’s sketch appeared on the screen.

“Well, you are really Kiora’s visual, and I based his character on you. And I even got his name from your favorite character in Bleach. That’s one of your favorite anime, right?”

He turned to her with a wide smile plastered on his face. “You still remember that?”

“Of course, those were little things, but I can still remember them clearly. The same little things that made me love you.” Avon heaved a sigh. “And made me fall for you even more. There’s no way I could forget that.”

She was not sure if her eyes were just fooling her, or she really saw Roeden’s eyes sparked at that moment.

“I guess that includes my most embarrassing moments back then.”

“Yeah.” She laughed heartily. “Do you want me to enumerate them?”

“It’s better to go to bed now and rest,” Roeden said as he turned off his laptop. It looked like he was not ready to be teased.

“Yeah, right,” she said with pouted lips. Avon rose on her feet and strode to his bedroom.

But after a few strides, she felt a warm hand grabbed hers. Roeden held her hand tightly as if he was afraid to let her go. The same feeling that she felt when he held her hand back in his office. She turned to him and met his gaze. Roeden’s eyes were flickering with emotions—emotions that she was so afraid to name. Avon thought he would say something when his mouth opened, but he closed it again and chose to let her go. He was hesitant, and she could not understand why when she would always hear him out.

Avon cleared her throat and spoke, “G-goodnight, Roeden. Sleep well.”

She slowly walked in the direction of his bedroom, giving him the chance to stop her and say what he wanted to say. But she already went inside the bedroom, and Roeden did nothing but stand on the same spot and watched her.

HER body felt tired, and her eyes were heavy, yet she could not sleep no matter what she did. She thought it was Roeden’s scent that lingers on the pillows and sheets. But then she realized that it was his presence. It made her feel so alive, causing her emotions to be heightened. Avon lost her control over everything. What could she do? She was human, after all. It was impossible for someone like her to be unbothered. And it was not a mere physical attraction. It was something deeper… Avon knew her heart was at risk.

She got her phone under the pillow and opened the messenger app on her phone. Avon found herself scrolling through it, rereading the exchange of messages she and Roeden had for the past years before she tried to move on five years ago. She was reading in peace when she accidentally tapped an old message. To her panic, her finger accidentally tapped the angry reaction. And she knew very well that whether she undoes it, the notification was already sent to Roeden’s account. Damn that app feature. Because of that, Avon had to stop reading. She tossed her phone on the other side of the bed and hid under the blanket.

Once Roeden saw the notification, he would definitely think that she was up to something to reread their conversations in the past. But knowing Roeden, maybe he would just ignore it and shrugged. Ah, why was she overthinking about it? It was just a mere reaction. It would not harm her.

Then, after a few seconds of battling with her mind, her phone pinged. She almost passed out when she saw Roeden’s profile photo on the chat head that appeared on her phone’s screen. With shaky hands, she opened his message.

And why are you suddenly backreading our chats?

Her heart immediately beat erratically after reading the message he sent her. She sat up and started typing her reply. But in the middle of composing her message, her phone suddenly rang. Roeden was calling her. What the heck was he doing? Why bother to call her when he was literally outside the bedroom she was in? Perhaps he did not want to talk to her in person.

She took a deep breath to calm herself before she accepted his call. Since he decided to react too, then so be it.

“What?” Avon cleared her throat.

“That was ages ago. I had to search for that particular message to understand why you reacted angrily at it,” Roeden said in between his laughs. “I ended up rereading that thread too. And you know what, I don’t understand what I was saying back then.”

She could not help but laugh.

“Oh, come on! Your words enlightened me back then,” she countered.

“Anyway, why are you still up?” Roeden asked, changing the topic.

“I couldn’t sleep.” She sighed. “That’s why I reread our past conversation, hoping that it will make me sleepy, but… How about you?”

“I couldn’t sleep too. I’m… thinking of you.”

Avon’s heart skipped a bit.

“What are you talking about? Are you drunk, Roeden?” she said, trying to hide her feelings.

“Hey, I’m sober.” She heard Roeden sigh.

Silence ensued between them.

She did not dare to break that silence. She has nothing to say now that her heart was a little bit overwhelmed. It was unexpected. He was acting far from the Roeden she knew.

“Avon…” The way her name rolled on his tongue made her heart summersault. It was so gentle… like mellow music to her ears. “Have you ever thought about how we end up this way?”

“I blame everything that happened in the past.”

“Avon, it’s okay not to bring out the past—”

“We should…” She heard him made a long sigh. “I’m sorry for everything, Roeden. I was too focused on what I feel all this time. I didn’t pay attention to yours. You’re kind enough to offer me friendship after all I’ve done.”

She did not hear any response from him. Then, the bedroom door opened, and he went in. Avon dropped her phone and left the bed immediately. She threw herself on him, and this time he caught her in a warm embrace. Her heart cried, and so her eyes.

“I hope it isn’t too late to apologize for taking you for granted all these years. Maybe I’m really one of those jerks who walked this planet. All I did is to hurt—”

“Aren’t you sick and tired of saying? What I want now is an honest answer. What am I to you, Roeden? You told me once, I’m that friend that you’re willing to bare your soul with. Until now, do you still consider me—” Avon was not able to finish what she was saying when he suddenly pulled her nape and claimed her lips.

Her lips trembled as his lips move against hers. She was beyond shocked, but soon her mind was able to process what was happening. It was hypocrisy not to admit that she was enjoying it. There was no way she would draw away from him; she gladly accepted his kisses. She then opened her mouth fully, giving his tongue full access to her mouth. When he slipped his tongue into her mouth, she met it with hers. Her stomach knotted. He only made her want more.

A soft moan escaped her mouth when his hands started caressing her arms down to the sides of her body. It gave her tingling sensations, running up and down her spine, making a whirlpool of much more intense sensations down there. It was too strong; all she could do was to give in. And that very moment, Avon decided to surrender everything to Roeden—the man who never failed to make her heart beat like crazy.

Soon he picked her up and gently deposited her on the bed. When their eyes met, she did not expect to see such emotions in those eyes. There was love and desire in them. And now that he was able to feel that way towards her, she could not help but cry. Avon had been waiting for so long for that time to come.

His hand reached her face, and his thumb lightly brushed away her tears. Roeden planted a soft kiss on her forehead as though he was giving her assurance. Then, he kissed her lips again. This time it was hot and torrid. Avon did her best to respond with the same amount of heat and passion. And it seemed that her response added fuel to the fire. His hands roamed, caressing and pressing, leaving this tingling sensation that sets her whole body on fire. For the first time in her life, Avon found herself being consumed with desire.

Roeden’s hand went underneath her shirt, up to her now swollen mounds, waiting to be favored by him. When he palmed her bare breast, he suddenly raised his head and looked at her with amusement in his eyes.

“Surprised, aren’t you?” she said breathily and laughed. “This is not planned, I swear. I don’t wear a bra when I go to sleep.”

Instead of answering, he took off her shirt and gently pushed her to bed. She gasped when his mouth claimed one nipple while his hand played with the other one. Avon might be a virgin, but she was not innocent when it comes to that matter. She had read a lot, watched many erotic acts, and had written about it many times. But the sensations she was feeling at the moment could not be compared to those things that she had imagined before. The real thing was beautiful and surreal.

“Roeden…” she drawled.

As if on cue, his hand slid down to grab the waistband of the shorts that she wore. He pulled it down, together with that red lacy underwear his mom left. Roeden did not waste any time. He immediately slid his hand between her thighs, making its way up to her center.

Avon closed her eyes and moaned when his fingers played with the sensitive nub down there. Pleasure surged in her womb, making her toes curl. Right then, they both knew she was ready.

He moved away from her and quickly took off his clothes.

“Avon… there’s no turning back now. Let’s make a promise. After this, no one will run away. We will make things work,” he said as he positioned himself on top of her.

With tears rolling forth her cheeks, she nodded.

He claimed her lips again in a more passionate manner, then he slowly lowered his body on her. She hugged him tightly, welcomed him into her life for the nth time. Then, she felt the searing pain as he continued to penetrate her.

Her fingernails dug on his back, but he seemed not to mind it. The first time was painful, yet blissful, for she gave her everything to the man who owns her heart.

“Tell me if I’m hurting you…” he whispered in her ear.

“No…”