Chapter 52. Inexplicable
My heart pounded when she took the initiative to kiss me, my hands moved to her waist, and I intensified the kiss. She pulled away slightly, and I thought I had overwhelmed her.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, panting. She quickly shook her head.
"Don't be sorry, it's just that..." her cheeks were flushed, "...if you do it like that, we might not be able to stop." I didn't immediately understand what she meant. "And considering this is our first real date, I'm not sure if we should cross that line..."
"Cross?" Then I understood. "You're talking about sex."
"Yes." We hadn't separated yet, we had only stopped kissing. We looked at each other, and for me, it was something strange to talk about since I had never... been intimate with a woman. "But society dictates it, but we can... decide for ourselves." I swallowed with difficulty, my heart racing even faster, realizing she wanted to go to bed.
"And dinner?" I wanted to stop the moment and freeze it because I feared I wouldn't be man enough to satisfy her as I should. I cleared my throat and felt the heat quickly overwhelm me.
"Do you care about dinner right now?" she asked in a sensual tone, something that made my skin tingle.
"I care about you right now," I said sincerely, not taking my eyes off her brown ones.
"And what's worrying you?" she asked with a furrowed brow.
"Worrying?" My tone was one of confusion. She nodded.
"When you wrinkle this part of your forehead, a line appears. It's because you're worried or thoughtful." Her finger caressed that part of my forehead, then began to trace my face until it slid to my mouth. The tip of her finger gently caressed it. "I can see you're more nervous than before."
"I really am. I'm afraid that..." I stopped my words, but she understood.
"You're afraid you're not enough?" Her tone was one of surprise. I was about to let go of her to put some space between us, but she clung to me, preventing it. "No, don't put distance. Do you really believe that?"
"I think I'll go see if I can make more meat..." She shook her head with a smile.
"So if it's not that, is it because of what Oliver said at the restaurant?" My eyes widened at the mention of his hurtful words towards her.
"What? NO!" I exclaimed. "Do you think I don't want to cross the line because he said you...?" I paused. "I won't say that word out loud, especially not in front of you. But no, it's not because you were with him in the past."
"Am I not attractive enough for you to...?" I shook my head again.
"It's not that, Lilly." I sighed, seeing her trying to find the answer in me. "I'm nervous because I've never... never been intimate with a woman. That's why I'm nervous. Besides, what if I don't...?" I couldn't continue out of nerves. She kept looking at me without showing any sign or reaction to my confession.
"So it is about not being enough." I nodded. "And you don't want to... try?" I opened my eyes wider again. "I can help," her smile widened, and I was just dumbfounded looking at her.
"Really? You're not going to ask me why I haven't been with anyone or any other question about why your boss is still a virgin at thirty?" She wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her chin on my chest, then pulled back a bit to look at me.
"Everyone chooses how to do it. But," she smiled, "you can choose how to enjoy it and with whom." I closed my eyes, the fear of that part of my life starting to dissolve. When I opened them, she was still looking at me in silence. "Do you want to... try?"
"I want to try it, or do it... it's just that..." she took my face in her hands and pulled me closer to kiss her. The kiss was slow, tender, and wet. Her tongue sought mine with anticipation, and that warmth awakened in me once again. Then she stopped. I opened my eyes and my mouth was slightly open, taking in air.
"Sofa." She pointed to one of the sofas in front of the fireplace. She took my hand and signaled for me to sit down. I did, following her every movement with my eyes. One of those movements was letting down her hair. She looked even more beautiful with her hair loose. Then, she took off the jacket that matched her dress pants. I could see her white button-down blouse completely. She unbuttoned the first two buttons, revealing more of her skin. Then she started walking towards me. "I'm going to sit on top of you."
"On top of me?" I asked, confused.
"Yes, on top of you," she repeated. Then she leaned in as she tried to climb onto me. I leaned back in the seat and then understood what she meant. She straddled me. She smiled. "We'll start by touching each other. Caressing. And I want you to enjoy it. If you feel uncomfortable, tell me to stop."
"But, isn't it about getting undressed and going to my bed?" She smiled more.
"First, we will learn to touch each other, Jackson."
"Oh, touching each other." I knew that rule. She adjusted herself on top of me, right where my... friend was. Seeing my reaction, she smiled triumphantly.
"Slide your hands from my breasts down to my butt..." I was overwhelmed in seconds.
"Touch you like that, right now?" I really felt like a foolish novice. "Okay, I get it."
"Start slowly." Then I began to move my hands up to her neck. I could see all of her perfectly. I slid my hands along the curve of her neck, then her shoulders, then close to the buttons of her blouse that she had opened moments ago. She closed her eyes and threw her head back. Then I moved to her breasts, caressing them slowly over the fabric, feeling their firmness. I caressed them with my fingertips over the fabric and she let out a moan. I stopped. When she saw I wasn't continuing, she brought her head back to me and looked at me. "Keep going..." I was about to respond to her words, but her body started to move. From her waist down! Her movement was creating friction against my friend. The sensation was... indescribable. My hands went to her hips to set a rhythm.
"Oh my God," I murmured through gritted teeth, seeing us in our clothes but rubbing our intimate parts. She increased the intensity and my member woke up. She felt it, and I could see how excited she was, just like me. "That..." I could barely speak. Her hands rested on my back, passing to the sides of my face. She increased the friction to the point that if she continued, I would come in a moment inside my pants.
"Don't come yet..." she panted, not taking her eyes off me. She was enjoying it, and that excited me even more.
"That... that... I'm trying..." She sped up more, and her moans tripled. I shook my head, trying to control myself, but she wouldn't let me. "No... I can't... I can't..." Her body started to convulse as she moaned, and I couldn't hold back anymore. I came, having an intense and unexpected climax, clenching my teeth. "I...," she kept rubbing until she gradually slowed down. She let her hair down, and we looked at each other for a moment without saying anything. We were on cloud nine. We had touched the sky. And I wanted more, but only with her.
"That was..." she began to say, her hands caressing my face, then sliding down my beard until her brown eyes met mine. "...inexplicable."