Chapter 89 Chapter Eighty-Five
Omniscient Narrative
The last day of school didn't feel like the last day of school, If anything it felt like any other day to Alex.
Alex stood just outside the school’s building, hands shoved deep into the pockets of a hoodie that was too warm for the weather.
Students gathered outside laughing, shouting, and taking pictures like they hadn't all known each other for years.
Someone even popped a confetti cannon.
And some cried.
Alex barely noticed any of it though, he was invested in another thing to even care.
Across the road, leaning against a silver car was Demi.
And next to Demi-too close, too comfortable-was Chris.
Alex's jaw tightened.
‘It’s like they’re rubbing it in my face’
Demi laughed at something Chris had said, tilting his head slightly, the same way he used to when Alex would say something stupid.
It wasn't even a big laugh, it was a quiet one but it hit harder than anything else.
Because Alex knew that laugh, shit, he had memorized it and now it belonged to someone else.
For the past few weeks he has been having dreams about he and Demi.
It were either romantic or it was just replays of their time together.
And o did he miss them.
Chris opened the passenger door for Demi.
Demi hesitated for a second-just a second-and his eyes flicked across the road.
It looked like his eyes were searching for something, or in this case…someone.
And just to his luck, he met his gaze, he looked at Alex.
Time slowed, Alex's heart kicked hard against his ribs.
He had a bit of hope as his eyes met with Demi’s, he had to fight himself not to walk over to him, take him in his arms and pull him in for a kiss.
But then Demi looked away and got into the car.
.
.
\[A month and A half later\]
“Don’t forget to call us when you get there okay?” His mother said as she cuddled his face.
It’s finally time for Demi to go off to college. Unlike Chris and most of the guys on the team, he didn’t pursue football, he had called it quits after he sat with his father and told him he wanted to study something completely different in college.
His father was supportive and so were his mother and siblings.
“We’ll call you Mrs Carter” Chris said as he went for a hug.
“Okay, have a safe trip” she said patting his back, she looked at her son again and pulled him in for another hug.
“I love you my Demilade, please behave in school and call me whenever you want” she told him as tears threatened to fall.
“Please, start yous journey before your mother decides not to let you go” his father rushed him into the car and Chris drove off.
They were going to the college that’s just an hour away, yet his mother was acting like it’s in a different country.
The two had decided to get an apartment close to campus instead of getting into the dorms, they thought it would be better.
“Do you think he has already settled in or..” Demi started as he looked outside the window.
“I thought you said you were over him” Chris side eyed him as he tried to keep his attention on the road.
“I am, but I can’t help but wonder” he let out a sigh.
“You miss him?” Chris asked as he looked at the sad boy.
“A lot” Demi admitted, he felt his heart squeeze as he thought about Alex.
His Alex.
They made plans for college. They were supposed to be roommates and experience college together.
And now, everything just went downhill.
“If only you’ll just forgive him and kiss and make up” Chris said as he gave Demi a smile.
“Keep your eyes on the road” Demi said rolling his eyes.
.
.
By the time Alex saw Demi again, it wasn't planned, he didn’t think he would see the brown skin man.
It was at a small café near campus-one of those places everyone went to before they officially became ‘college students’.
Alex almost didn't go in, but then he saw Demi through the window sitting alone and something in his chest refused to let him walk away again.
The bell above the door chimed softly as Alex stepped inside, Demi didn't look up right away.
But he knew who it was, he could literally smell his cologne. It was the same one he had gotten for him for his birthday.
His shoulders tensed slightly before he lifted his head, eyes meeting Alex's across the room.
There was no smile, no warmth.
"Hey” Alex said, stopping a few feet away.
Demi hesitated. "Hey” it was awkward.
Alex gestured to the empty chair. "Can I-“
Demi sighed, like he was already tired of the conversation before it started. But he nodded.
"Sit”
Alex did immediately, because he wasn’t sure if the other boy will take it back.
For a moment, neither of them spoke.
The noise of the café filled the silence, cups clinking, people talking, a barista calling out orders.
Completely disconnected from the tension sitting at that table.
"You look...different Demi” Alex said finally, his throat felt dry.
Demi raised an eyebrow. "It's been a few months, not a few years”
"I know” Alex said quickly. "I just meant-“
"I get it” Demi cut in letting out a sigh. "You don't have to try so hard”
That stung more than it should have.
Alex swallowed. "I'm not trying. I just...wanted to talk to you”
Demi leaned back slightly, studying him. "About what?"
‘About everything’ Alex wanted to say
‘About how I messed up’
‘About how I miss you’
‘About how none of this feels right without you’
But what Alex said was “Us”
Demi's expression hardened.
"There is no 'us,' Alex, when will you realise that?”
"I know” Alex said. "That's kind of the problem”
Demi frowned slightly, caught off guard.
Alex took a breath.
"I thought keeping things casual would make it easier” he said. "No expectations, no pressure. If it ended, it wouldn't matter”
Demi didn't interrupt, he didn’t look away.
So Alex kept going.
"But it did matter” he admitted. "More than I wanted it to”
A flicker of something crossed Demi's face, his expression had softened up.
"You had a funny way of showing that” Demi said quietly.
"I know” Alex said. "I messed up”
That wasn't enough, they both knew it.
"I shouldn’t have pushed you away, I shouldn’t have gotten a girlfriend to try and keep you away, I shouldn’t have fought with you and I especially shouldn’t have said those harsh words to you” Alex continued. "I’m sorry"
"Why didn't you just talk to me" Demi asked.
And there it was.
The question Alex had been avoiding-even from himself.
"Because i wasn’t thinking" he said honestly. "I was just scared of actually saying it out"
Demi let out a quiet, almost disbelieving laugh.
"Alex…you really messed up"
That hit like a punch.
"I’m sorry” Alex said almost like a whisper.
"I have to go” Demi said as he got up and gathered his stuffs.
“Do you like him” Alex asked, he was afraid of the answer but he still asked him.
His eyes trailed down to Demi’s hand and saw him clench and unclench his fist.
"I do” he said finally. "He's...good to me”
Alex nodded slowly, that made sense, Chris was the kind of person who wouldn't hesitate to make you feel loved.
He wouldn’t leave things undefined, wouldn’t make Demi feel like he was asking for too much just by wanting something real.
"I'm not going to pretend I can compete with that” Alex said.
Demi looked surprised. "Then why are you here?"
Alex met his eyes.
"Because I don't want to lose you without at least trying”
"I'm not asking you to break up with him” Alex said quickly. "That wouldn't be fair. And it wouldn't mean anything if I had to push you into it”
Demi's shoulders relaxed slightly.
"I just...needed you to know," Alex continued. "That what we had- it wasn't nothing to me. It still isn't”
Silence.
Demi looked down at his hands, then back up at Alex.
"You really suck at timing” he said.
Alex huffed out a small, humorless laugh. "Yeah. I've noticed”
Another pause.
"I really need to go” Demi said as he immediately left the cafe, he didn’t turn back.
He couldn’t.
Because if he did, he might end up running into Alex’s arm and pulling him in for a kiss