Chapter 64 Chapter Sixty
Alex’s point of view
The longer Demi stayed distant, the louder everything else became.
Claire laughed easily.
Our friends joked about us like we were a package deal now.
“I swear it’s like you can’t see one person without seeing the other”
Teachers smiled at me like I'd crossed some invisible milestone.
My mom asked questions about Claire's family, her grades, her plans, like she was already mapping out a future I hadn't agreed to.
On paper, my life looked settled.
Inside, it felt like something was rotting.
Demi came back to school two days later.
I noticed immediately-how could I not?-but he didn't come back the same.
He was quieter, thinner somehow, like he'd folded himself inward.
When our eyes met across the hallway, he looked away first.
That shouldn't have hurt.
But it did.
I told myself not to chase him.
I'd already made my choice. I had a girlfriend now. Showing concern would just reopen wounds I'd pretended to close.
But pretending didn't make the pull go away.
We were paired in class again by accident, a seating chart reshuffle that felt almost cruel in its timing.
When Demi slid into the desk beside mine, he didn't acknowledge me.
Just took out his notebook, focused on the board.
"Hey," I said quietly, I was trying to test my luck
"Hey," he replied, just as quiet.
Nothing else.
The space between us felt enormous despite how close we were sitting.
I could feel the warmth of him, the familiar presence that used to calm me, now sharp and disorienting.
"You weren't here yesterday," I said after a moment.
"Yeah," he replied. "I was sick."
I knew he was lying.
But I didn't call him on it.
By lunch, the tension had become unbearable.
I watched him eat alone at a corner table, scrolling through his phone, shoulders hunched.
Chris asked if he wanted to join the team, but he shook his head, so instead Chris got his tray and went to sit beside him, Noah and two other guys followed suit and the five of them were there eating.
Kyle kept glancing at the table, I knew he wanted to go there. when our eyes met, I gave him a nod meaning he can go and he did.
Claire noticed me watching.
"You okay?" she asked, touching my arm.
I nodded too quickly. "Yeah, I’m just tired."
She smiled, accepting it easily, and leaned closer.
Guilt curled in my stomach.
.
.
That afternoon, Demi finally broke.
Not loudly, not publicly.
He cornered me in the empty hallway outside the music room, where the acoustics always swallowed sound.
His face was paled, eyes ringed with shadows.
"Are you happy Alex?" he asked.
The question caught me off guard.
"With Claire," he clarified, like saying her name physically hurt him.
I hesitated. Too long.
"That's not an answer," he said softly.
"I don't know," I admitted. "I think so."
He nodded slowly, like he'd expected that. "Okay." He let out a sigh of relief.
That was it.
He turned to leave.
I knew he had been thinking a lot these past few days.
"Demi" I said, panic spiking. "Wait."
He stopped but didn't face me.
"You don't get to do this," he said quietly.
"You don't get to move on right in front of me and then pull me back every time you feel guilty."
"I'm not trying to-"
"You are," he interrupted. "Even if you don't mean to."
He finally looked at me then, and the pain in his eyes knocked the breath out of me.
"I told you that I have feelings for you," he said. "And you decided to show up with some girl a few days after?"
The words landed heavy and final, I couldn’t say anything.
"I need space," he continued. "Real space, not whatever this is."
I nodded, throat tight. "Okay"
He left without another word.
.
.
That night, Claire came over.
She sat on my bed, legs crossed, talking about her day.
I listened to her, nodded, and smiled when I was supposed to.
When she leaned in and kissed me, I kissed her back automatically.
But my mind wasn't there.
I kept seeing Demi's face. Hearing his voice.
I'm trying to unlearn that.
Claire pulled back slightly, studying me. "You're somewhere else."
I hesitated. "Sorry."
"Is it me?" she asked.
The question made my chest tighten.
"No," I said immediately. Too immediately.
She frowned. "Alex."
I forced myself to look at her. "I just have a lot on my mind."
She searched my face, clearly unconvinced, but nodded. "Okay."
When she left, the silence pressed in hard and unforgiving.
I sat on my bed afterward, hands dangling uselessly at my sides, the truth circling closer no matter how hard I tried to avoid it.
This wasn't working.
Dating Claire hadn't erased anything. It hadn't fixed me.
It hadn't made Demi disappear from my thoughts or softened the ache when I imagined him moving on without me.
If anything, it had sharpened it.
I wanted to want her the way she deserved.
I wanted to stop thinking about him.
But want didn't work like that.
.
.
The next day, my mom caught me staring into space at breakfast.
"You okay?" she asked gently.
I nodded. Then shook my head.
"I don't know," I admitted.
She reached across the table, squeezing my hand. "You don't have to have everything figured out."
I swallowed hard.
At school, Demi kept his distance like he'd promised. He laughed with other people now-quieter, guarded-but he didn't look at me anymore.
And that hurt more than when he had.
I watched him disappear into a group of people I barely knew and felt something in my chest finally crack.
I'd wanted certainty.
Instead, I'd built a life that looked right from the outside and felt completely wrong on the inside.
And for the first time, I wondered how long I could keep pretending-
before the damage became irreversible.