Chapter 103: Inseparable

Daphne

I stared at those files for a long time, feeling like I had just opened Pandora’s box. For as long as I could remember, the werewolf king of the Northern Territories had been called Mad King Louis. Wild rumors had circulated about rages, catatonia, violence and self-harm. Of course, I’d been very young then, and as he wasn’t our king, not terribly interested in the drama.

But if it was true, it was probably cataloged in those files, meticulously documented in Dr. Conway’s surprisingly neat and legible hand.

A lot of werewolves lose their minds, and sometimes their lives, when they lose their mates. The stronger the mate bond, the more terrible the pain when it is torn apart by death. So it was not surprising if Louis suffered a mental break when he lost not only his mate, but also his only child. He had a right to his pain, and his insanity. And he had a right to his privacy, and the sanctity of doctor-patient privilege.

I kicked myself for even being tempted, and closed the lid with a surprisingly loud bang. I wished I had something to lock the wooden box with, even if it was only a zip tie, until Dr. Conway could dispose of the files. It didn’t seem like a good idea to leave it sitting by my office door. There was no telling who might be called to move them to their new location. Someone with fewer scruples than I might read the files.

I shoved it back under my desk.

I sat in on the two sessions of Dr. Conway’s patients, the ones who had given him permission to include me in their treatments. One was a middle-aged woman suffering from anxiety and depression, and the other was a young man with anger management issues. I sat quietly, observed, and took notes while Dr. Conway led their therapy sessions.

Dr. Conway was a marvel. It was amazing to watch him work, to see how he connected with his patients, how he knew exactly the right questions to draw out the dark shadows that his clients were struggling with. His patients obviously trusted him a great deal, and were able to be vulnerable and translucent about their feelings, their experiences, even with a stranger sitting in the room with them. (Although the woman did occasionally glance at me nervously.)

“Excellent first day, Ms. Redhawk,” Dr. Conway said, pulling of his thick glasses and polishing them on his shirt. “Tomorrow I have an hour free in the morning, we can start making calls on that waiting list. I dare say by next week you will be ready to see clients on your own. In the meantime, I would love to see you take a more active role in the shared sessions. You’ve had a chance to observe my methods, I’d like a chance to observe yours. It will also give the patients a chance to get to know you, to decide if they would like to continue their treatment under your care after I retire.”

I smiled, “That’s a good idea,” I agreed. I had already packed my things back in my soft-sided briefcase, and I now hitched the strap over my shoulder. “Maybe I could step in for the last ten or fifteen minutes of the session.”

He nodded, replaced his glasses, and blinked owlishly a few times. The thick lenses made his eyes look even larger. “Great. See you tomorrow then,” He held the door open, and I stepped out into the hallway, and waited while he locked the door. He smiled and slipped the keys back in his pocket. “We’ll have to get you your own set of keys,” he said absently, and started walking.

I looked up and down the hall. I didn’t feel like I was in a wing of a French-inspired castle anymore, but in a modern hospital. The floors were polished slate slabs, the walls were pristine white with gray-green trim. There were signs that gave directions to different departments, nurses hurried by in squeaking shoes, and the air smelled faintly of antiseptic. I watched one heavily pregnant she-wolf being pushed hurriedly toward the Women and Children’s department, her male partner hurrying beside the nurse that was pushing the chair, carrying an over-stuffed duffle bag.

I unconsciously put a hand against my stomach.

That would be me, very, very soon. Except Nate wouldn’t be there beside me. He wouldn’t hold my hand while I labored, he wouldn’t be present to greet his child when he or she entered the world. I would be alone.

Louis seemed to appear out of nowhere at my side. I’d been busy watching the wheelchair disappear down the hall, I hadn’t even seen him coming. He looked at me, and then looked down the hallway to see what had caught my attention.

“That reminds me,” Louis said, as though we had been in the middle of a conversation. “You’ll need to get acquainted with one of our obstetricians and start prenatal care.”

“I was just thinking… that's going to be me in a matter of months. It’s kind of terrifying.”

Louis slipped his hand around mine, his warm fingers sent a wave of relaxation through me, and the wave of anxiety that had been starting immediately calmed back into a mellow pool. It was so strange, this effect he had on me. As if he had been reading my thoughts the whole time, he laced his fingers between mine. “Don’t worry, you won’t be alone.”

I looked up at the king, and so many questions flitted through my mind. However, I didn’t have time to give them voice. He tugged at my hand. “I’ve missed you the whole day,” he said, sounding a bit like a petulant child. “I had to eat lunch with Alpha Larkin and his daughter. It was excruciatingly boring.”

I laughed a little, and let him lead me, not into the royal wing of the castle, but rather, to that inner courtyard garden that I had seen through the windows of Dr. Conway’s office. There were a couple of gardeners at work, adding summer annuals to the beds, trimming some of the dwarf ornamental trees, skimming some leaves that had blown into the fountain.

Louis guided me to a bench in front of the fountain. A fading lilac leaned over it from behind, creating a living canopy. I settled comfortably against the wooden planks, and Louis dropped his arm behind me, and we both looked at the fountain, which was a series of graduated basins, each tier slightly larger than the one before. Water sheeted over the perfectly level sides, and the tinkling sound was almost musical.

“It’s very peaceful here,” I noted, and gave in to the urge to snuggle into his side. It seemed like I fit perfectly there, under his arm, against his ribs.

As I hoped, his arm tightened around me, securing me against his side. Yes it is. I haven’t come to this garden in a long, long time.” He was silent as he turned his head and seemed to contemplate the surrounding trees. “My wife designed it.”

“Oh,” I felt a little heaviness in my chest when he mentioned his mate, almost as if I was feeling a small portion of his sadness. It should have felt a little awkward, sitting together like we were a couple, with him speaking nostalgically about his dead mate. But it didn’t feel weird.

To be honest, it felt like I was just sitting with my best friend, sharing a bit of his pain.

“She wanted the hospital patients to have a place to go, to enjoy fresh air and sunshine, the sound of water, the fragrance of flowers in bloom.”

“She had a beautiful vision.”

“That she did.”

We sat together in silence for a long while before his arm tightened slightly. “Aren’t you going to ask me?”

I turned my head to look at his jaw line, so strong and smooth. “Ask you what?”

He turned his head and met my eyes. “Why I slipped out of your bed last night?”

I swallowed, and tried to remain calm and nonchalant. How did he know that had been on my mind, every time I allowed my mind to wander during the day?

“No, I’m not going to ask.” I faced the fountain again, and leaned back into his arm. “We aren’t really together. I don’t even know what we are. You don’t owe me any explanations.”

“I don’t know what we are either,” Louis admitted. “But we are connected. And that frightens me, Daphne.” He sighed heavily, like the weight of the world was resting on his shoulders. “I’ve loved and lost, and I didn’t think I would survive it. I didn’t want to survive it. I didn’t think I’d ever feel anything for another woman again. I’ve clung to the memory of my sweet mate. But then, I saw you again, and everything changed. And the weird thing is, I don’t even feel guilty. I feel like… it’s right, and I have her blessing. But Daphne, if I become attached, and then I lose you–”

I turned sharply to look at him, but he lifted his free hand to stop me. “You are a young woman Daphne, we both know you are much younger than I am. Some day, you’ll want more.” He leaned close, pressed his firm lips against mine, teasing a breathy sigh from my lips before he released them. “Maybe you’ll find your baby’s father, and the two of you will figure things out. What will I be left with, then?”

I felt a slight shudder shake his body. “I left your bed last night because I was afraid.”

“But you are here, now.” I pointed out. “Does that mean you aren’t afraid anymore?”

“Hell, no.” His lips curved into a sexy smile. “I’m terrified. But I can’t seem to stay away from you.”

I let my hand rest against his thigh, and felt the muscles bunch beneath the fabric of his trousers. “Same,” I whispered. “I don’t want to stay away from you.”