Chapter 12

**Lily**

I stood staring at the door of the meeting room. I will never look at that meeting room in the same light again. What the fuck happened? What was I thinking? Why didn’t I push him away? I let a fucking stranger touch me intimately. My previous boyfriends had to wait for weeks to be allowed to do that in the bedroom. Hell, I had never done such a thing outside of the bedroom! So, why did I let him? His touch felt amazing, and right. As if I was supposed to be there with him. It was maybe too much of a good thing, too overwhelming. Too much cannot be good, right! It really cannot happen again!

“Lily? Ready to come in?”, a team member asked. She looked confused at why I was just standing there in front of the door. I nodded and shook the distraught look from my face.

“Lily?”, Zara asked, popping her head around the doorway. I looked up at her hearing her voice. “Do you have a minute?”, she asked, but I guess it wasn’t much of a choice, because she walked in anyways. “I need to go over some of the accounts and transactions you flagged as potentially criminal. Noah said something must have gone wrong there.”, she said matter-of-factly. I must have looked at her confused. “He mentioned that you flagged accounts linked to some of our loyal customers, so it cannot be criminal.”, Zara elaborated. “You know we don’t look at who it belongs to. If we see a pattern or something else fishy, we flag. Loyal customer or not.” I said agitated, but I wasn’t understanding the problem. I did my job; Noah was the one that needed to keep the customers happy. “Let’s just go over it together. If we can’t see a problem, we’ll take it up with Noah.”, Zara appeased, already dragging a chair to my desk.

Together we looked at my screen for the longest time, trying to see if it was wrong like Noah claimed. We looked at it from all sides and angles possible, but we arrived at the same conclusion every single time. I was right in flagging the accounts. And when we looked to try to find out why Noah wanted them to be reversed, we also did not understand. The accounts were relatively new, and we couldn’t even find a link to one of our loyal customers. “I give up.”, Zara said defeated, raising her arms in the air. “What you did was correct. Noah is not making any sense. I will take it up with him.”, she said as she got up.

“So, are you going to tell me what is going on?”, Emma asked. We met for dinner, but I must admit that I was not being good company at the moment. I must have spent the past 10 minutes pushing my food around my plate with my thoughts elsewhere. I looked at her like I got caught. “Sorry.” I said to her slightly ashamed. “Everything is just messed up.”, I confessed. “What do you mean?”, she asked concerned. “Mom, work, men. Everything is just weird right now.”, I sighed. “I messed up big time, Em.”, I whispered, putting my head in both my hands. Emma didn’t say anything but waited for me to continue. She would have made a good counsellor; she always had a way of getting you to confess all your sins. “I was a wits end, I was fed up with coming up empty, I was angry at the world. I used bank resources to find out more about mom.”, I stopped for a second, but Emma kept quiet. “It helped though. Most accounts in her transactions have been related one way or another to potential criminal activity. I found a lot of tax evasion through the most tropical locations. I find her taking money from some accounts and flowing it to a trust that is incredibly well hidden but steering away from others. She was laundering money, Em. And stealing from the people she was laundering for. My mom was a criminal, and I never suspected a thing!” Words just flowed from my mouth and saying them out loud was a bit of therapy in itself. It was me coming to grips that this was reality. “And now, Noah was going on about me making mistakes, and I really don’t understand what he thinks I did wrong.”, I took a sip of water. “I think he knows. He wants to kill my career.”

“Don’t you think you are a bit too suspicious now? Slightly delusional? Seeing things that are not connected?”, Emma asked. She asked it without judgment or sarcasm, but she was being my devil’s advocate. She was making sure that I also looked at the other side before drawing a conclusion. You know, before I went crazy and down a rabbit hole that I couldn’t come out of.

“And then Mr Blue eyes showed up in the office. Matteo didn’t look at me once during the meeting. And by the time I had finally put up my professional mask and I wasn’t too affected by his presence; he gets me alone in the room and makes me come with his fingers.” I saw a flicker of surprise in Emma’s eyes when I shared that. I must give it to her for how well she managed to hide it.

I didn’t say anything else; I was lost in my thoughts. “So?”, she asked, like it wasn’t bad enough. I looked at her with question marks in my eyes. “Do you like him?”, she asked. I looked at her like she was speaking in tongues. “Do you like him?”, she repeated her question. “I cannot.” I answered. “I don’t like how he makes me lose control when he is around.”, I added. Emma grabbed my hand from across the table. “So, you avoid him. Don’t make out with him again.”, I looked at her to see if she was mocking me, but her face was completely serious. “His touch feels amazing, he managed to make me come in no time. But he is too overwhelming, and I cannot have that.”, I decided. I saw a quick look of disappointment go over her face, as if she didn’t agree with my conclusion. “You know I want you to be happy, Lils. The sex part is important, and I know you struggle with the intimacy, so the fact that you let him must tell you something. Feeling good is also important, even if it is not comfortable for you.”, she said kindly. Emma was a strong believer of gut feeling and intuition. I know she always felt like I thought too much about men, love, and relationships. She always said I was too much in my head, and not enough in my heart.

“You also know what Norah would say.”, she grinned and lightened the mood. “She would applaud you and ask you when you were going to fuck him good.”, she smirked. I just shook my head at the visual of Norah coming into my mind.

Will and I were getting a coffee quietly this morning, we both were not fully awake yet, when someone barged through the doors to the floor. Both doors slammed against the wall, before they flapped back and forth a bit, and two others came through again. They were only slightly gentler to the doors. I jumped at the noise and saw them marching across the floor. All were dressed in black suits, and the one up front had his fists clenched by the sides of his tensed body.

The entire floor was instantly quiet, and you could see all people following these men with their eyes. There was something intimidating about them. People were now whispering in a mix of curiosity and anxiety. Only when I heard Monice protest and call one of them Tommaso, did I realize who it was that just stalked across the department. “What was that?”, Will asked looking shocked. “Who was that?”, he corrected himself. “I only know that he is called Tommaso.”, I said. “He knows Noah.”, I added, not sure why though, because Tommaso just entered Noah’s office while the other two men stood next to the door outside.

Lucky me had a meeting with Noah, so I slowly made my way there. Grudgingly, I took the last few steps to Monica’s desk. The men outside scrutinized me as if they tried to scare me away. It was working though! I could not clearly hear what was being yelled in the office. Tommaso sounded furious. I looked at Monica, who was clearly uncomfortable, but pretended to be busy. “You fucking idiot!”, I heard Tommaso yell, followed by a slamming noise to the wall. Like a chair was thrown against the wall. I winced as I stood there. “Monica?”, I asked quietly. “You better get this done!”, Tommaso yelled, followed by the sound of things falling.

“Yes, Lily?”, she responded in a whisper. “I guess I can better postpone the meeting, right?”, I asked. She nodded, “I will make it tomorrow.”, she replied, and I smiled at her in appreciation.

“You make it happen, or I will kill you!”, I head Tommaso yell. It sounded slightly different though. It sounded murderous, like a true, dark threat. As if he would literally kill him. Next thing I know is Tommaso coming out of the room, looking like nothing happened and his eyes unreadable. When he catches my glance, I see something flare in his eyes that I cannot decipher. He grabs my hand and gently guides me to a more secluded place, away from prying eyes, which happened to be the hallway to the toilets. He held up a hand as we go a little further, and as I look back, I see the men who followed him stop and leaving us alone. Tommaso pulled me close to him, and against the wall. “Bellissima.”, he mutters, as he captures me between his hands on the wall. I bit my lip, unsure what he wanted from me. He groaned and closed his eyes. He leaned his forehead against mine. I just stood there uncomfortably and completely still. Not sure what the best next move was, and for sure not wanting to be subjected to his anger.

“Such a pity.”, he mumbled to himself, and he composed himself again. “I will see you again soon, Bellissima.”, he said, kissed the back of my hand again, and left me standing there. Utterly confused.

The next day when I was about to have my meeting with Noah, I again heard yelling coming from his office. “You asshole, get it done!”, I heard Tommaso. There was not a minute where I didn’t believe Tommaso wouldn’t make good on his threats. “What are you fucking waiting for?!”, he shouted. I heard a punch landing on something that sounded like a human being. I knew Monica heard the same thing when we locked eyes. “I will postpone your meeting again.”, she said subdued. I nodded and left. I didn’t want to witness anymore of this.

“What the hell is going on?”, I asked Zara when I ran into her on my way back to my office. Zara shook her head. “I have no idea.”, she said. “I do know that Noah is getting tenser every day that passes.”, she added.

“Bellissima.”, I heard. I looked up to see Tommaso in my door opening. “Hi, what are you doing here?”, I asked. He didn’t answer, but walked into my office and closed the door. “I needed to see you again.”, he said. I didn’t understand where his urge to see me came from. I also didn’t understand how I could feel comfortable around him, but I did. Even though I had heard him go rampant in Noah’s office, I didn’t worry at all that he would hurt me.

He came to my desk and pulled me out of my chair to give me this big hug. These men continued to confuse me. Tommaso had always been courteous with me, as opposed to Matteo. Not once had he tried to kiss me or had his hands wandering. “Please, be safe my dear.”, Tommaso said, and after his usual kiss on the back of my hand, he left my office again. These fights with Noah didn’t seem to affect him at all.