I came bouncing through the door after just running 3 miles and being at my trainer’s gym since 3am on my final day of senior year so excited that I had the world at my fingertips and a handful of colleges who all wanted me. My parents had been supportive in whatever direction I decided but that was probably because whatever I decided they would still be getting a divorce when all said and done. "Wow what a year it has been, I still can't believe it's my last day of School and then it’s summer. Then I start college and who knows I might even cut the summer short and go early. I guess now it depends on where I really want to go, I guess and who I really want to be now and what I want to be." My mother gave me the look of proudness even though her world was falling apart every day that I got closer to graduating. "Mia, angel you are right about one thing you have the world at your fingertips and colleges sending you acceptance letters every day... however you should take the summer to decide on some type of path.." My mother Amelia couldn't help herself when it came to me taking time off to figure out what I wanted to do. My father Ethan on the other hand always distilled in me that knowing what you want to do before you get to that next step was crucial and most of the time he was supportive in the ambition I had to do not just one career but multiple "I think that your mother is right, but so are you since you are a free spirited kind of young lady and have big dreams. You know I thought of course you'd always take after me or your grandfather in law or medical, but of course you have shown likes in both area's. I guess all I can do now is be supportive, pay for what you decide and well I guess that's just what dads are supposed to do right?"
I knew that my parents meant well in what they said but by my father's tone he had his decision in his head not really understanding why I needed time or why I even questioned it since my future had been mapped out since the day I was born and my twin and I would have anything we wanted. That all changed the day my twin brother died at the age of 3 from a rare strain of the flu that took him quickly. "Mom, Dad I know how you both feel and what this day would really mean if Jr was still here.. so now I’m basically living for the both of us and you both see me living up to expectations. I'm sorry that he isn't here to take after you dad in your foot steps and one day take over the firm, and mother I know you rather me go off and find a nice guy and become a wife and mother and do whatever I want and leave it to my husband to bring home the bacon" I couldn't hold back the irritation that was clearly in my tone as I faced my parents who had been already packed to head off on our family vacation. I still had to finish packing and calling all my girls who would be heading off on their summer vacations too and Catherine who was my very best friend and who would be joining us on our trip through the Caribbean. I stopped listening to my parents when they started to argue with one another and headed up the stairs and down my side of the house still able to hear them. I couldn't believe how childish they were being, but who am I to be the parent and tell them what to do?
Catherine had arrived at my house before I could even call her and it was like we read one another's minds or something because she always had great timing when it came to me really needing to have someone there for me. "Mia... you have to be kidding me.... I've been packed for 3 months and you hardly have anything. I...." Catherine found me sobbing in my closet as I looked through my baby book along with my brothers that I had saved from the trash years before. "Hey.... I'm fine just picturing what it would be like right now if Jr was here with me and if our parents would still be getting a divorce. They still have love for one another, but more hate now days than I've ever seen, I'm ready to just tell them to send me and you and they can stay here and do whatever they really want.. I'm tired of holding up dreams for not just myself but for Jr that they had for us..." I wasn't sure how much longer I could stay in the house with my parents even though once I left for college my father would be completely moved out. Catherine closed the closet door and locked us inside until I was ready to face the world like she did from the time we were little and the closet was our fort.
Catherine was an only child as well but her parents were madly in-love and made me feel more like their daughter then my own parents who loved me and gave me everything I ever wanted in material things but when it came to affection it was hard for them both. I kept my brothers’ blankets that I had found at 5 years old hiding in the back of a closet in his room that had never changed until my mother had her breakdown and destroyed it on our 8th birthdays. "I guess I'm just feeling a little lost and pulled into so many directions since I didn't just get into 1 of my 6 schools I applied to but all of them... my father wants me to follow him or his father, but my mother wants of course me to get a limited degree and live off a rich man forever and have babies. I mean damn I've been single this entire senior year of course by my choice after Maxwell broke it off when he left for college which was the best thing he could have ever done since I wasn't wanting what he wanted anymore. Ha which he called me last-night to congratulate us on graduation, and of course you know me I'm a sucker every time... He of course was my first love... or so I thought" Catherine laughed as I made funny faces when talking and thinking about a guy I lost my virginity to when I was 13 years old. "Ha ya you are a sucker but I don't blame you since the dude has some major skills and got a full ride to Duke. I know you though and don't see you settling for that life knowing the free spirited person you are and that you will never just settle" Catherine always knew how to get me back on track after a crazy day with my parents even if it was a 5 min conversation. I finally got up off the floor and finished packing with the help of my besty Catherine who was in a rush to get out of town and on the beach.
I didn't understand why my best friend Catherine at times when she loved going to the beach but only when on vacation when we lived just mins from the Carolina beaches. "That's why I love you.... you have a beach here yet only like hitting beaches while on Vacation. Such a simple person yet so demanding about other things in your life... So enough about my issues have you decided on where you are going to go for school? I mean I know we both got accepted to the same schools, but I’m just not sure right now what I'm doing. My parents fighting is getting out of control and I'm tired of being the buffer between the two and can't wait to be out completely which not sure my mother would ever let that happen." Catherine did the best she could to understand only being able to imagine what it would be like if her parents didn't love one another anymore. "Well dang it this is not how we are supposed to be feeling on our last day of school... graduation is tonight and then we leave tomorrow for the Caribbean. If you want come stay at my house tonight or I can stay here with you..." "No my parents are leaving right after graduation with my father having to do a little business before he joins us and my mother wanting to get some alone time in at the house. So if you want you can stay here since I’ll have it to myself" I said to her as she carried my bag to the main floor of the house.