Chapter 31

Lucas’shandscuppedmy breasts while he kissed my neck from behind. Warren kissed me, his hand already between my thighs, cupping my sex. I reached for Andrew, too, needy for all of them. My jeans already open and pushed down, Warren slipped his fingers inside my panties and growled as he found my wetness.

“You’re always so wet for us, Cupcake.” He pushed two fingers in me and curled them. “So wet and so eager to come.”

“Greedy for her orgasms.” Andrew turned my face to his and stared into my eyes. “Aren’t you?”

I nodded, unashamed to admit to them how much I wanted and needed them. “Greedy for mine and yours.”

Lucas groaned. “Jesus.”

Andrew held my face while Warren’s fingers fucked me. “You like his fingers in you, baby?”

A loud bang on the door made me jump and cringe into them. Warren slipped his fingers free and licked them clean before pulling my pants back up. I gave him a wide-eyed look.

He shrugged. “I wasn’t going to waste it.”

My face burned, and I shook my head as I pried myself away from them. The banging was still happening at the door and I backed away from it, terrified of who it would be.

Andrew’s face was hard as he nodded at Warren. “Take her into the bedroom.”

Lucas was already moving towards the door, his big body more predator than man at that moment. He only stopped to look back at me when he reached the door. “Go.”

Warren pulled me out of the front room and wrapped his arms around me when he felt my shaking. “What’s wrong, Cupcake? It’s probably nothing.”

I looked up at him and chewed on my lip for a moment before speaking. “I’m not exactly living a life right now that lets me feel easy when someone comes banging on the door.”

“You mean us?” The hurt on his face was clear.

I wrapped my arms around him. “I mean the way I’m hiding it and lying to Macy.”

An eruption sounded from the other room and I easily picked out Milo’s voice, shouting at Lucas and Andrew. “Where the hell is she?”

“You’ve got about three seconds before I lay you out, asshole.” Lucas growled out the threat, his voice scarier than I’d ever heard it.

“I know she’s in here. I saw you twisted fucks bring her in.”

My heart sank, and I realized that there was really no hiding it. I just had to face him and try to make him leave without causing a scene. Sidestepping Warren, I walked into the room and found Milo being held against the wall by Lucas. His feet were barely touching the floor, but Lucas didn’t even seem to be straining.

“Dammit, Cupcake.” Warren was fast behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist to pull me back into the bedroom.

“I knew it. I knew you were fucking someone else!” Milo had a lot of spunk for someone so clearly outmatched.

“Wait, Warren. It’s fine.” I patted his hands until he let me go. “Milo, you have to leave. This is ridiculous. You literally put less effort into our actual relationship than what you’re doing right now.”

“They were all touching you. You were letting them. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Andrew’s body snapped forward, only held back from hitting Milo by Lucas’s other arm. “Nothing’s wrong with her, fucker.”

“You need to leave, Milo.” My voice shook, the fear of someone learning our secret almost overwhelming.

“Fucking slut. This is disgusting. You’re disgusting!”

Lucas slid Milo up the wall, holding him off the ground with a snarl on his face. “Say it again and you’ll be eating your teeth for dinner.”

My heart constricted at the words. They were the same ones I’d been hearing in my head, so terrified that someone was going to see me and say them aloud. Milo was bringing them forward and helping my fears come to life. I gaped, my mouth searching for something to say in the absence of my brain working.

“You’re fucking all three of them. Jesus, you’re worse than I thought. You’re just a disgusting slut. No one will be able to be with you after this.” Choking out words even as Lucas’s hand tightened on his chest, Milo snarled at me. “You’re going to be a loose shell of a woman when they’re done with you. No one will ever want to touch you when they know what a whore you are. Who’s going to love you now, bitch?”

Lucas dropped Milo just to pull back and slam his fist into Milo’s face. Blood instantly poured from his nose, but he was out. Lucas dropped him to the floor and turned to me. “I should’ve hit him sooner. I’m sorry.”

Andrew slammed his fist into the wall, leaving a big hole, before walking to me and roughly pulling me into his chest. “He’s wrong. Nothing he said is true, baby.”

Warren grunted in agreement. “You’re an angel, Cupcake. Everything about you is perfect. You can’t listen to him.”

My heart was hammering away, my eyes leaking tears without me even realizing it. I couldn’t stop hearing Milo’s words. Why the words of someone trying to hurt me meant more in that moment than the words of three men who cared for me, I didn’t know. Whore. Slut. Disgusting.

“Cupcake. Look at me.” Andrew’s voice was harsh as he took my chin in his hand and lifted my face to his. “Stop it. You’re none of those things. His small mind doesn’t get this. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”

I shook my head. “Then why do we have to hide it? Even without Macy, I mean. We wouldn’t broadcast it. It would be a secret, still, wouldn’t it?”

Warren sighed. “It’s not that easy.”

I moved away from them, my heart breaking as I did. “I have to go.”

Lucas moved towards me. “Cupcake, no. Please. Just talk to us. We’ll get rid of him and talk this through.”

I shook my head and edged around them. “I have to be alone.”

“Baby, don’t close us out.” Andrew reached for me, but I hurried to open the door. “Fuck.”

“I’m sorry,” I muttered without looking back at them before hurrying out of the room and down the hall. I ran to my room and didn’t even get inside before I was sobbing. Locking the door to make sure they couldn’t get it, even with the key card, I went straight to my bathroom and turned the shower on as hot as it’d go.

The realization slammed through me that I hadn’t even been so upset when I’d stumbled in on Milo screwing someone else. I’d thought I was in love with him, but it hadn’t hurt. What I was feeling after walking away from the triplets was devastating. It wasn’t even about what people might call me when they found out. It was just walking away from them. They’d made me happier than I could remember being, ever. Spending time with them felt like getting to fly a little closer to the sun without getting burned.

I’d fallen hard for them. It was stupid and messy and had been doomed from the beginning, but it was true. Cursing my stupid heart and inability to keep things light with them, I stripped down and got in the shower. I wanted to cry without fear of anyone hearing. I wanted to cry until it didn’t hurt so much.

I stood under the hot water until my skin was bright red and waterlogged. Still, I hurt. Sinking onto the tile bench, I held my face in my hands and shook as the cold air of the room chilled me to the bone. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. I just had to suffer alone.

I knew I deserved that for what I’d done to Macy. I probably deserved everything I was feeling. What had I been thinking? I couldn’t have a relationship with three men. Especially Macy’s brothers. How selfish was I?

Wrapping my arms around my body, I forced myself to get out of the shower and dry off. I meant to get dressed, but I didn’t have the energy. Instead, I curled up in a bed that smelled like the three men I was aching over. I was wide awake, unable to sleep through the ache I was feeling. All I could do was stare up at the ceiling and go through the thousand scenarios I was imagining.

In a different life, maybe I could’ve been their fourth. We could’ve lived our lives together and been happy. There could’ve been a happy house with a giant bed and maybe even more. Nights spent in that bed, but even more nights spent on the couch together, laughing and talking. I could’ve learned even more about them. I’d never know so many things.