I knew exactly what I wanted him to do, and I let him run his hand over me, let him devour my breast, let him bite my lips and the tips of my breasts and let his warm hands run up my my legs. And just like he said, I tried to catch my breath so I wouldn't look so pathetic at his touch.
When he said "You are mine" a wave of intense heat completely took over my body, I couldn't measure the effect of it on me.
- Do you want the truth Vicenzo? - I said interrupting what he was intending to do, because one more kiss and I would climb on top of him, and no one could get me out of there.
He stopped, put his hand now on my chin, close to my face, his eyes in a dark blue revealing his mood - I want you Lauren, I think it will be the first time for you!
- Your reaction inside the hall was ridiculous, you shouldn't have hit the unfortunate, did he cross the line? Yes! But I can take care of myself... - Before I could continue he interrupted me doing something that I had already realized was typical of him.
- Do you know how to take care of yourself? Is that why you went out naked that day? Don't force Lauren! If it weren't for me... - Now it was my turn to interrupt
- No, don't interrupt me, don't do that! Listen me! - I said and without thinking I pulled his neck, it was a thoughtless gesture to get his attention, but it wasn't a simple attention call. When I did he closed his eyes and bit his lip, opened his eyes again and now the blue was even darker. He was silent waiting for me to continue, or controlling himself not to lay me down right there. - I know that day I drank too much, when are you going to stop making my head hell with that story? And there's more, I'll continue where I left off. You got JEALOUS - I emphasized the word - And you hit the guy, but you didn't think about how I would feel inside that plane? Does that seem fair?
The dark look didn't change, just the mouth that opened in a smile.
- You said it meant nothing! Sex is sex, isn't it?
- So tell me, what does this all mean to you? Because I'm losing myself.
He approached trying to shut me up, put his mouth on mine and I almost gave in, it was much nicer to kiss his mouth than to argue.
- No...- I said with my lips pressed against theirs - Answer me! Do not run away! Why do you want it to mean anything to me if it means nothing to you?
He looked at me confused, and the look pissed me off. He was running away from answering me what was fundamental in this whole story, what did he see in me? What was I doing there? I could cling to the fairy tale in my head or face reality.
Now I leaned against him, and ran my hands over that beautiful face, taking in his serious and confused expressions as I looked into his eyes.
- Did you see Vicenzo? I can't be yours, because even you know this shit doesn't mean anything other than what we're seeing. Sex... and if you want, I'll spread my legs for you! It won't be an effort, like it wasn't the last time... But let's make it clear, let's make it clear that feelings will no longer be involved. Because I won't let anyone hurt me again, and you have the potential to end my life. - I was honest, more than I should have been. It was the tequila, I had to blame someone!
- So that's it, you open your legs for me? - He said, still looking into my eyes, I cleared my throat, because what came after my answer would define everything.
- If that's all it is, yes! It's what you want, isn't it? - I teased passing my finger over his mouth, I sat on top of him, and kissed his light neck, before kissing his mouth, soft and delicious, when he felt my lips he took mine for him too, hungry he sucked my lower lip slowly. I stayed on top of him, dragging myself down his body, feeling his erection dig into his pants, his hands roaming my bare back. - It doesn't have to mean anything - I said, Vicenzo leaned his face against me, took a deep breath and looked at me again, there was something wrong.
- Lauren... You drive me crazy, but no... That's not going to happen.
- And why not Vicenzo? - I asked shocked by his posture.
- As you said, I have the potential to end your life. And I won't do that to you.
I just wanted him to say it meant something, even a small one, I wouldn't think! I would be his, totally and completely! But he didn't say, he was also afraid of commitment.
I sat down on the bench again, put my dress top back on and did so under his gaze the entire time.
- Just so you know, I didn't have sex with Karen on the plane! - He said that and turned his gaze to the window.
- And what happened? Why not... anyway, why?! - I asked smiling, but not so much, I tried to at least disguise my contentment.
- No need to hide it, I can see your smile wanting to escape from the corner of your mouth. - Hell of transparency. - I couldn't, she was there, she... wanted too. And I was like an idiot standing in front of her, and I just couldn't do it. I'm an asshole.
I came closer and sat down against him.
- But you couldn't for some reason? - I forced him to look into my eyes.
- She wasn't you. - He shot being sincere once again, he wanted to have that courage - And Lauren, you are stubborn, intellectual, you are methodical, and it is never easy! I know you think that day in the dressing room I just wanted to have sex with you and that's all. That you came easy to me. And in bed everything is, when you're this close... When we have sex there's nothing wrong. The problem is what happens afterwards. And that's what pisses me off!
The brutal sincerity of his as he looked at me, I took a deep breath knowing every word was true.
- I'm dangerous, and not like in those movies, I really am! I do a lot of things that would make anyone cringe, and I don't want to drag you into that filth.
- This is not your choice! - I said, making him laugh.
- You don't have a calling for Bonnie Lauren.
- Let me get to know you... Not just the Vicenzo I already know, I really want to know who you are, what you like... What's your favorite color!
- I'll try if you promise you won't do what you did today again.
- I promise if you promise that you won't pretend you had sex with another woman again.
- Done! - He said smiling.
- Friends? - I offered him my hand, and the word friends made me shiver, but it was the right thing at that moment.
- As long as you sleep with me... yes! - He said now a little more serious.
I walked away still smiling, it was a small victory, knowing a little more about this man who lives in my dreams.
- Lauren... by the way, my favorite color is blue.
I smiled at him, and he smiled back.
The mess I didn't want to avoid... Right in front of me asking me to dance.