Chapter 44 UNABLE TO TAKE MY HANDS OFF HER.
44.
~RAFAEL~
Kimberly nods solemnly to my words and picks up her cutleries again but only stab the meat aimlessly without eating any of it.
I sigh, regretting that I ruined the mood."I don't think about it every time, it's not as often as before. But I still run out of breath sometimes. And I get tired easily, but once I work out and get myself buried into work, it wears off a bit." I say, trying to assure her but the worry in her eyes is nothing feasible.
Fuck, I shouldn't have said anything that will make her worry about me.
"Is there anything I can do? Or something we should do to get rid of those thoughts?"
"What? I'm sure you'd want me dead judging by how much you hate me." I tease, she glares at me immediately and stab down the meat with more intensity.
"Not in that way, I definitely don't want you dead." She answers truthfully.
I nod, not saying a word, refusing to believe that I'm that important to Kimberly Sloane that she doesn't want me dead, she's probably trying to save her head.
"Yeah. You're right, I should get my shit together."
"Rafael." She calls, her hand covering mine on the table immediately.
"It's okay Kim,I..."
"You shouldn't lose to this battle, I don't know how fucked up that place is but I hope you find a way to cope with you, you will never be able to forget about your mom, but you can always choose to talk about her with people and every other thing that bothers you,you should feel at ease." She cut me off, rubbing small circles on my hand, not staring at me.
And the back of my eyes burns again. It fucking burns but I only nod and clear my throat nervously.
"Thank you." I mutter, getting back to my food and she does the same.
I resume working in my library since I have so much to do, Rowan is busy tearing me down over the phone for suddenly deciding to not come for work today because it only quadruples his workload but I really need to think over the next decision I will have to make which will be definitely uncomfortable but I'm done being shy, it's time to face the reality.
Throughout the day, Kim and I work together in the same space, she's deeply buried into the school work she's missed and she seems to be enjoying it, but me? I was busy watching her in sheer interest, how her eyebrows will jut together while she drinks from her coffee cup I refill once it's empty without her noticing.
I thought I'm always the most focused when working but Kim? She beat me in that area and I like it for her.
"I think I'm done here." She stifles a yawn and shut down the laptop, I still have a heap of work to attend to but I also shut down my laptop, suddenly feeling a wave of nervousness.
"Yeah, I'm done too. Let's go." I mutter, clearing the table while she packs the empty cups of the beverages we exhausted over the long hours.
We both walk towards the long corridor, our footsteps suddenly feel too loud because of the uncomfortable silence.
My room is the first to come before hers so she stop right in front of mine to bade me goodbye but I don't want to.
Because I don't think I will be able to sleep without Kimberly beside me, I've always been insomniac ever since I was born and a very light sleeper but nowadays, I barely get one hours of sleep, yesterday, I managed to sleep for four hours until my eyes refuse to shut down again but being with Kim will probably ease it a little bit.
The silence won't be too loud with her around me but what if she rejects me?
"Uhmmm, goodnight." She stutters, drawing circles on the floor with the sole of her footwear, I lean closer to my door but I don't make any effort to get inside and Kim isn't making any attempt to head to her room.
"Kim, remember I told you about us sharing a room for the sake of people?" I ask, rubbing the back of my neck nervously. Fuck, I'm so full of shit.
But she nods, agreeing to whatever I'm saying and a small smirk is lying on her face.
"Yes, you said I should bring some of my stuff here too."
"We should start today, I mean... we've been married for more than three months."I press further and she nods again.
"Do you want me to come in?"
"Yeah." I breathe out my reply and open the door to my room.
Stepping aside, I watch her drift inside, her head staring down the floor.
As soon as Kim is inside my room, I slam the door shut in case she wants to change her mind.
I assess her back view as she takes in the sight of my blandly decorated room, making me regret that I didn't suggest we use her room in the first place.
"Can I take my bath here? Or I should..."
"Sure, you're free to use the bathroom."
"Okay." She mumbles, heading towards the bathroom at a fast pace.
Once Kim disappears the room, I let out a long breath out of my mouth, inhaling deeply.
That was easier than I thought. Now, it's up to me to be able to keep my hands off that tempting body of hers.
Since her belongings aren't here, i quickly search for a thick shirt and pants in my closet to substitute for her nightwear.
Dropping it on the bed, the door to the bathroom creaks slowly, Kim tiptoes carefully on the smooth floor with her wet legs to prevent her from tripping, the wet legs weren't my undoing but the way the short towel on Kimberly drapes her body, the outline is her boobs and the dip around her waist, then the voluptuous flare of her thick thighs and curves.
"Are you sure this will work? I mean..."
"I will make it work, Kim." I cut her off in a hoarse voice.
I watch Kimberly unwrap the towel off her body slowly and mop her legs while she rears her ass out.
The soft heavy breasts of hers jiggles and i could swear I see her nipples harden.
Losing my resolve, I grab her from behind, eliciting a shocked gasp from her.
"Rafael..." She moans out my name, pressing her soft ass against my jeans.
"I'm sorry, Kim, I..."
"Please fuck me." Kim cut me off immediately and made me cup her boobs from behind.