Chapter 30 I DATED LIKE EVERY OTHER WOMEN.
30.
~KIMBERLY~
Rafael's admission should soothe me, but no, it doesn't. Because I think I preferred it more when this marriage had a strong purpose–to impress Rita Williams.
Now, He's admitting that he doesn't care about the company anymore, what becomes of me? Would he toss me away like I don't mean anything to him because I never did?
Or he will get tired of me and throw me off to Eliana so she can do whatever she wants to me?
"I care about selling the company, Rafael. I know this is such a stupid and selfish thing to say considering what you've done for me but seeing that company managing to thrive aggravates me, and I'm fucking sorry but that legacy needs to go."
Rafael saunters towards me and grabs my arm, he squints his eyes and his expression softens a bit."it will go, I will make it go, maybe not through Rita not I will make it work." He assures in a calm tone even though he doesn't have to but I'm grateful he did.
"I'm sorry, please let me know about the dinners, I promise to try my best to impress..."
"I've always hated gatherings but it's necessary for my line of work, we will somehow find balance to that."
His pluralization of us satiates me a bit, because yeah, we're a team and we should act like that.
"Let's go get dinner." He mumbles, walking towards his table, I wait for ten minutes and watch him wrap things up and make different calls to his subordinates, giving different orders.
He seems so different from the man who makes coffee and breakfast for us at home, or the man who rolls his sleeves up anytime he sees me doing something. He's more dominant, his voice a little bit hard and grumpy, even sexy.
"You're ready?" Rafael asks, raising his head up at me from his laptop, I clear my throat nervously and manage to nod.
"Sure." I mumble, grabbing my bag. He also shut down his laptop and we both walked out of the building together.
Wendy follows us to the car to collect some files, after Rafael hands it over to her, she waves at me and flashes me a pure grin before striding off.
"She seems nice." I chuckle as we both settle in the car, Rafael gears the engine back to life and drives out of the park to the main road.
"Don't give her much attention, she's a lot to handle."
"I'm handling you, trust me, you're more than a handful."
Rafael turns to me in amusement, his upper lips raise in surprise, I bit my lips, regretting the choice of words I used.
"Rafael,I..."
"Am I an asshole?" He blurts, rubbing his ripped arm before placing it in on the wheels lazily.
"You didn't know you're an asshole?" I holler,my voice is louder than I imagined.
"I can't believe my own wife's opinion about me isn't any different from what others think."He jokes, pressing his lips together as if he's trying to stifle a laugh but i desperately want to hear him laugh again, it's been such a long time and I miss it badly.
"But you're not selfish, that's all that matters." I mumble, my tone dampens a bit, he glances at me briefly before facing the road again.
"I'm much more selfish than you think, trust me." He says in a husky tone, twitching a bit in his seat as if he's confessing to his crush.
I watch the side of his head glisten in sweats, even his side profile is now more insane with his ripped jaw and long neckline.
How do I keep my hands to myself around him? Is that even possible?
"Can we switch my ring to another one? I feel like it's wrong for me to wear it around considering how expensive it is?" I ask, diverting the uncomfortable discussion to another topic.
"No." He deadpans in his usual asshole tone and I almost scoff.
This man isn't even scared of me misplacing it.
"Rafael, I will be busier these days and I'm usually clumsy when busy,I don't want to lose it."
"If you misplace it, I will get you another one." He insists."And you must wear it every time."
Oh,God!
Knowing that this is a discussion he will win, I decide to seal my mouth shut until we get to the restaurant.
"Should we buy them in take aways and eat it at home or..."
"Let's eat it at home." I cut him off, grateful that he's giving me an option.
I'm scared I would drop the fork or spoon due to this crippling anxiety I experience anytime I'm in the public with him.
We order a large box of pizzas with my favorite toppings and fried chicken wings with some beers to go with it, after that, we drive home.
Getting home, We decide to wash ourselves up before settling down to devour our food, Rafael came down first before me, he's in his normal outfit, shorts, inner wear and knitted cardigan, his hair moist, quite messy while I'm in one of the night wears he got for me earlier today.
A sleeveless top and matching bum short with it, I decide to roll my freshly washed and dried hair up so as I won't drop my strands in his food.
His eyes are rested on me keenly as I walk down the stairs, I quickly move past him as if my insides are not clenching in need.
How do I crave for something I have no idea of how it is? I must be on some drugs these days.
"What do we have here." I says in a raised tone awkwardly, clapping my hands as I sit down beside the table in the living room, resting my back on the couch behind me, Rafael does the same and opens the pizza box and every other food we ordered.
He roll up a piece of pizza carefully and drops it on my plate before attending to himself.
The awkwardness in the room is already eroding my thoughts and sharpening my senses, I need something to diffuse it. "How was your dating life?" I blurt.
Rafael coughs harshly and brings down the half eaten pizza from his mouth, he shoots me a weird stare and tilt his head towards me."Seriously? You're asking me about my dating life while eating pizza?" He scoffs shaking his head.
I press my lips together, waiting for his answer, I never imagined Rafael to be a coy type in dating, the one who gives flowers and thoughtful gifts to their partner randomly. He seems like someone who would buy a new car for a woman because she complained about foot ache.
Weird.
"It was uneventful, just lots of sex and conversations that doesn't hold water. My former partners knew that I never wanted anything serious and they didn't push it except some crazy ones." He answers in the most nonchalant but honest way.
I nod slowly, digesting every piece of information, he didn't lie, he's not the committing type, but why does it make me feel somehow? I shouldn't be concerned, right?
"What about you?" He darts his eyes towards me curiously.
I gulp down nothing and shrug."You know, just the normal dating experience for normal women out there." I reply, hoping he doesn't sense the heap of lies I just dropped.
Because there's no way I'm telling this man I never had the privilege to date.
He would definitely mock the hell out of me.
And I definitely do not want that.