Chapter 31: Isabelle

Dinner is an experience that I have always associated with formality and being dressed to impress. However, as I put on a simple sundress, I realize that this dinner with Cara, Declan and Liam is like nothing I have ever experienced before. Cara is dressed in comfortable jeans and a flowy white blouse, something I could have never worn before, never would have even thought was acceptable to wear. I can see now that Liam telling me it wasn’t necessary for me to change before was in fact the truth and not a test. I wish I would have listened now. Instead of a huge table spaced apart with the empty chairs around us, we gather around the small and intimate table, I am struck by the light and open conversation, filled with laughter and genuine smiles. It's clear that everyone is happy to be here, and the atmosphere feels warm and welcoming. Despite my initial worries about feeling intimidated, I find myself surprisingly comfortable in this new setting. Although I am mostly quiet, content to listen to their lively conversation, while I pick at my food trying not to seem like pig. I’m starving yes but was always told how and what to eat. Something I didn’t think about when Liam and I were cooking dinner. I notice Liam stealing glances at me from the corner of his eye. When I see his jaw tick slightly, I can't help but feel a bit worried that I may have upset him. I sit up straighter and I try to figure out what I have done wrong. I run over everything in my head, when nothing comes popping out at me I start to panic, darkness seeping in slowly.

I feel a hand being placed on my thigh and it brings me back as I look up into Liams green eyes. He is looking at me intently. It’s then that I noticed all conversations stopped and a bit of tension has taken over the previous atmosphere.

“Isabelle, why aren’t you eating?” He asks me gently, the look of concern muddled with something else, something I try very hard not to let scare me. Something looking a lot like anger. I swallow dryly and try to look down, but he catches my chin between his thumb and first finger. I flinch at first, only to relax when he is only applying a slight pressure to encourage me to raise my head and meet his eyes once again.

“I am eating.” I try to give him a small smile, it’s not a lie, I am, but I also know that isn’t the answer he is asking, nor is it really the question. He wants to know why I am not eating how I normally would. His jaw ticked again.

“Girl if that’s eating then I must me overeating like all the time.” Cara states laughing. I look over at her and then down to her plate. Sure, enough she has ate almost everything, and she had much more than I did.

“My Stor No one here at this table wants anything less than for you to enjoy your food and eat until you are full. No one here at this table will judge you by what and how much you eat.” I look back at him. He looks down at me as if to make sure I see the truth in his eyes. Once he has my undivided attention he continues. “With that said however, if you choose not to eat because of whatever was going on in your head just now, or because you feel you can’t, well then that is not acceptable. You need to eat. I will never tell you what to do or how. Unless it affects your health, safety, or happiness. Understood?”

A wave of something I’ve never experienced and has no real name washes through me. I feel my face flush and heat down low in my belly, my thighs pinch together, and I know he can feel it with the fact his hand is still on it. At first, I just stare at him. He waits patiently until I finally nod my head and he give me a small smile. He goes to pull his hand away, and to both of our surprise my hand quickly shoots to his to lay it over top of his, silently asking him to keep it there. His touch is soothing, it keeps the dark thoughts away and I need that. He gives me another brief look of both shock and happiness. I pick up my fork and start to actually enjoy the food as the table picks back up as it was before. This time I joy in.

After dinner is finished, we all help clear the table. Once we are done, we head upstairs. Liam stops just at the top.

“That is the theater room.” He points to the door at the end of the hall. “Do you want to go in there now, or maybe you want to change so you can get cozy on the huge couch in there?” I think about it for a minute and yes, I could love to curl up with a blanket and not have to worry about being lady like for once.

“Yes, I would actually like to change.” I give him a grateful smile.

“We will meet you there. Anything you don’t like to watch?” I am embarrassed about what I’m about to say but it’s the truth.

“I haven’t watched anything in years. It really doesn’t matter, but I’m not a big fan of horror.” What I don’t say is that I have enough nightmares and they add to it. But it seems like I don’t need to judging by the look he is giving me.

“No horror, no problem. Go change see you soon.” He waits for me to turn before walking toward the door.

As I rush to get ready, I quickly change out of my dress and into soft leggings and a t-shirt. On my way out the door, I made a spontaneous decision to do something I hadn't done since before I was taken - I put my hair up in a messy bun. With my hair out of the way, I head back to the theater room. Liam had been right, there was a huge couch that could easily fit ten people. The depth of the couch was impressive - both brothers could sit with their backs against it and their feet up without hanging off. One half of the couch has Declan and Cara snuggled up under a blanket, while on the other half, there was plenty of space between them and Liam in the middle. I could have sat in between them and still not touched anyone, but I made the bold choice to sit close to Liam. I knew it was risky, but I wanted to be brave. If he didn't want me near him, he would say something - or at least that's what I hoped. When I crawl up the couch towards him, he smiles and lifts the blanket he set out for me. He has his own, so I decide its safe and sit next to him. Not close enough to be in his space but just enough to feel his body heat. He covers me with the blanket, then turns toward the remote sitting beside him.

“Cara really wanted to watch a movie called Avatar, seems pretty good. Sound good?” He knows I have no idea what he is talking about, it’s kind of sweet that he is acting like he does so I do feel embarrassed. I smile at him, and nod and he starts the movie.

I am enjoying the movie, but I’m distracted, I keep sneaking glances at Cara and Declan, they look so much more comfortable than I feel, I want that. Liam put his arm around the back of the couch almost as soon as the movie started. He isn’t touching me, and I’m not touching him, but I wonder. He doesn't seem to have a problem with them cuddling, and he doesn’t seem to have a problem with me sitting close to him, or when I kiss him. I decide to make one bolder move. I shift a little bit, pulling my legs up as I lean over to lean into his side, and I hold my breath to see how he will react. He tenses for all of one second before relaxing, lowering his arm to wrap in lightly around me.

“Is this, okay?” he asks once he has settled. He is asking me if it’s okay for him to have his arm around me, meanwhile I just took a chance at leaning on him. I don’t know why that makes tears sting my eyes, but I nod my head and finally breathe. He isn’t mad. When I breathe in, I can smell his scent. As i take it into my lungs I fully relax and watch the movie. I stay like that until I somehow fall asleep, it’s the most peaceful I have ever slept.

** Authors note- I will be trying to update three or more chapters every Friday and Tuesday**