Chapter 29: Isabelle
After this morning’s events I didn’t really eat breakfast so when lunch came, I found myself starved, and ate everything Liam put on my plate and more, much to his delight. When he got a call on his phone, he told me there were a few things he needed to take care of but gave me a laptop and told me his card and address were saved to the autofill program and to order whatever I wanted to and not to worry about a limit. He explained he wanted me to have things of my own that fit, and I was comfortable in. I’m not stupid, I understand to most girls this would be a dream come true. A guy gives them a little black card and tells them to have fun. But for me it is overwhelming.
Growing up my shopping was hand me downs from neighbors and the occasional thrift shop, and then it was for the cheapest, least holey clothes I could find. I can’t say that anything I ever got was something I actually liked. I didn’t have a style. Never really did, just had what I needed and that was rare enough, I made do the best I could. When I married, Alessandro took over that aspect for me. I never picked out anything, he did. He would send a shopper to get anything he deemed I needed and that’s what I wore. Everything from coats to underwear and socks. None of them were picked for comfort just to look pretty.
Liam didn’t seem to care what I wore. While that was difficult for me to understand, I kind of liked the idea of being able to wear something warm and comfortable. The only down fall to that, well that’s where I am now. Sitting in one of the chairs in the library curled up in a blanket with a laptop on my lap. I look through various clothing stores. There are so many, some I recognize from the stuff my husband bought me, however two hundred and fifty dollars for a pair of leggings that look just like the ones I have on now is ridiculous. If that’s what the legging cost I don’t even want to look at anything else this Mr. Wang has to sell. Nor do I want to look up anything else I remember from the closet over there. Now the problem is I don’t know what I’m looking for. Like I said overwhelming. The darkness is starting to peak its head up. I chew on my lip feeling lost.
Finally, I just close the laptop and set it on the table next to me. deciding to go find Liam, maybe he could help me? Only when I step out of the library, do I realize I have no idea where I could find him. Looking both ways down the hallway at the very end I see one of his men. I know I’m normally not allowed to speak to the men who watch over me, but I really feel like I need to see Liam. He chases the darkness away, I approach the guard carefully, and fearfully.
“Umm, excuse me.” He turns and looks at me.
“Yes Ma’am?” he speaks with so much respect I’m kind of shocked, one that he did and two that he even acknowledge me.
“Can you tell me where Liam is?” I ask but I am ready to be shut down and told to go back into the room.
“In the kitchen ma’am. Do you know the way, or would you like me to show you?” I don’t know what to think for a minute, he just stands there patiently while I gather my thoughts.
“Can you show me please?” I finally say not sure I actually know they way.
“Of course. This way ma’am.” He leads the way and I follow a good few steps behind him not wanting to get too close.
It doesn’t take long to get to the kitchen. When we do I thank him and walk timidly into the room. I see Liam is standing there at the counter seeming like he is cutting something. I walk towards him slowly unsure what to do. I want to talk to him, but I don’t want to bother him. I can see he is busy.
“Hello, my stor.” He looks towards me with a smile. “Did you order everything you needed?” I feel my cheeks heat with embarrassment at the confusion I was about to make.
“I actually didn’t order anything.” He puts the knife down, lifts the lid and adds what looks like carrots to a big pot. When I smell what is cooking my mouth waters. Once the lid is back on he wipes his hand and comes towards me, he doesn’t look upset so that’s good.
“Why not?” he asks as he pushes my hair away from my face.
“I wasn’t sure what to get. I’ve never really got my own things.” I admit, full shame.
“Ah I see.” He doesn’t sound upset, more contemplative. He slowly wraps his arms around me, pulling me to the counter next to where he just was. He puts some potatoes in front of me and hand me a knife. “Peel these for me?”
“Yes sure.” I start working on them and we are quiet, not uncomfortable though. I peel and hand them to him. He cuts them and adds them to the pot.
“What if I sat down with you and looked over something? Do you think that might help?” I am go grateful he asked that so I didn’t need to ask him if he would that I exhale loudly shoulders relaxed.
“Yes, please if you have time.”
“I will make time for you any day.” I smile brightly at him, and I can’t fight the urge to go on my tiptoes planting a kiss on his cheek.
“Thank you!” His smile lights up his whole face. “What are you making?”
“Well, its not just me now, so we are making Irish stew. “
“I haven’t had that since my grandparents!” I am getting more excited for dinner by the second. I don’t want to ask; I really don’t this is already so much.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” He looks at me. I don’t know how he is so entuned with me.
“Soda bread?”
“Of course Cara makes some of the best she is bringing it over.” I can’t help but smile and even jump up and down a bit. He watches me, chuckling a bit, but I don’t feel like it’s at me.
“You are too cute.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “Come on now let’s finish up with these vegetables and get them in the pot so we can eat before midnight.”
I happily help him finish up the stew. Being with him has put the darkness fully in the back of my mind. I can feel it looking, lurking, just waiting for its chance to appear. But for now I am free of it.