Chapter 12: Twelve

BETTY

I sometimes think back to my sixteenth birthday, when my foster mother handed me a neatly wrapped yellow box. One could tell it took her all night to fold it just right. Excitedly, I ripped it open and inside it was a peach colored scarf, it was winter so I guess she thought it might be helpful. I remember staring at it expressionless and unimpressed wondering why it looked… bland.

She asked if anything was wrong and I said I didn’t like the color, she got angry and called me all sorts of names but the ones that stuck was when she called me evil, stiff, and judgy, note, I was just a teenager.

Now I’m in my mid-thirties and I’m not sure if I ever stopped being that girl, because being sixteen still feels like yesterday, nothing much has changed except maybe for the lines on my face. The ones I used concealer to hide.

I slid the last textbook into my leather tote bag, the zipper rasping loudly in the silence of the empty classroom. My fingers lingered on it longer than they should have and before I knew it, I find myself replaying all the cruel words I had thrown at Michael; my student, the boy I seem to despise so much, the the same one I’d kissed accidentally at the club, I shouldn’t feel guilty for doing this, I feel proud for finally saying everything I had been bottling up, I should vent and use transfer all the aggressions on him but instead I felt sad I had said all these to him, maybe it was empathy speaking or maybe I realized that I went too hard on him.

My gaze darted across the room, my heart still heavy, I had been alone in here for the last half hour, pretending to finish up for the day but the truth was I just needed some alone time, to sit my thoughts and the words that had so recklessly escaped my lips.

Finally, I found the courage to get up on my feet, sling my bag over my shoulder, and walk out of the classroom. As soon as I stepped out the cool air outside brushed against my face, it was soothing and maybe relaxing but not enough to wash off the guilt I was feeling or the sour taste in my mouth. I walked to the pavement, phone in hand as I opened the Uber app trying to book myself a ride.

It said a red Toyota was five minutes away.

Oh, great! Five whole minutes of just standing here, I had a feeling this was going to be painfully boring and that meant I would see people I didn't want to see.

Michael crept back to my mind once again and I kept thinking, why did I even say those words to him? I could’ve just ignored him like old times, he was only trying to be a good student by writing the new presentations and trying to clear the tension in the air instead I went too far with my words, so much for professionalism. If he decides to report this behavior of mine to the principal, I might land in trouble all over again with the Bolton’s and that’s the last thing I needed.

It was getting cold so I wrapped my arms tighter around myself. I meant to hurt him with my words, not because he deserved it but because I felt overwhelmed and cornered. Because I was tired of him showing up in my face with that irritating effortless charm and smirk playing on his well-structured face, they were driving me insane.

But would you blame me? That hot face almost ruined my career, I only wanted to punish him for disrespecting me but his family wasn’t having it, they made me joke and I guess that’s what makes me so mad. So yeah, I wanted to hurt him so bad.

I’d wanted to hurt his ego, so I said the one thing I knew would cut so deep, hurtful yes but true. I was shocked at the outcome; his expression, he didn’t push back like he always did, he didn’t wear that aggressive seductive smirk, he just smiled and walked away, I could see the hurt in his eyes. I guess I must have struck a chord.

“It’s official, I am an evil person, “ I muttered under my breath scanning the road for any sign of a red Toyota even though the map still said he was two minutes away.

I’d always believed I was evil because my foster mother never ceased to remind me, and my ex-boyfriend Nate had called me a self-centered and evil bitch the day I chose my mental health over our toxic relationship, so it wasn’t news, but the real question was, why did it still get to me?

I knew I was right and it was for the best but it felt unfair to Michael, he was just a kid years younger than me, and yet I had given him the full dose of my cruelty, or maybe he was exempted because he was good looking, or because of the way his shirt clung across his chest everything he moved.

Or the way his emerald eyes glistened when he stared intensely at me, listening to me during lectures. No wonder I tried so hard to avoid them.

Ew, I shouldn’t be thinking about that, I’m his professor, I shouldn't admire my student. I'm supposed to hate him because he almost ruined my career.

But still, I felt the need to apologize for my tone earlier.

A motorcyclist sped across me splashing muddy water on me.

“Watch it!” I yelled. He didn’t look back, he just sped off like an idiot.

I brushed dust the dirt off my skirt, luckily it wasn’t much, I knew he was in the basketball team so I could walk up to him after practice and just say, ‘hi Michael, I’m sorry I called you a soiled arrogant jerk who survives on his fathers money, ‘the idea made me laugh quietly under my breath, because It wasn’t exactly a lie, I guess I’d came on him too raw and harsh, but I didn’t need to apologize he’d be fine, he’d endured worse from me before.

But my chest still felt heavy, like a knot had formed there and wasn't loosening anytime soon till I apologized to that boy.

All of a sudden I heard the sound of balls, sneakers squeaking against the floor inside faintly, I knew practice had begun. This was my cue to go in there and apologize, it won't take a few minutes, instead I stood there like I was frozen to the ground. Minutes later he stormed out, he looked angry, and he didn't even notice I was standing close by.

I guess this wasn't the right time.

He headed for the parking lot, started his car, and puff, he was gone. I wondered what that was about? Should I be concerned? No, do I care? Not.

Also, I felt disappointed, something in me wanted to apologize and get this feeling off my chest, another part of me was relieved because I wasn't sure I was ready to face him just yet.

So I stood there for a few seconds glancing at my phone several times, waiting for my ride. My Uber was a minute away now but I was running out of patience, I just wanted to get the hell out of here and retire to my bed.

My mind drifted back to the incident at the club, how I had ran into his arms blindly kissing him, I still can't get over how his lips felt, during that moment I had said to myself to maybe have a one night stand with this man because his lips tasted so good and he surely one how to kiss but I was disappointed when it turned out to be him. It was like he was everywhere.

And ever since that day, I had promised myself never to let my guard down again and not have him around me. I loved being a professor but he made me hate the job.

Finally, my Uber arrived and the driver stared at me. “Are you Betty?”

“Yeah.” I climbed into the backseat, resting my back against it, and I could already imagine myself on my plush bed, eating pizza with kitty and watching a movie at the same time.

Sometimes I used to think my life was boring, I would join dating apps to find love and friends but when I am faced with trouble I run back to that lonely life because it is peaceful.

I glanced at my phone, tempted to text Michael. Yes, I have had his number for the longest time, and it was just sitting in my contact list. Maybe I could send a quick text without doing this in person.

My phone chimed.

It is a private number.

I scanned, opening the text.

What I saw made my heart skip a beat.

They were photos of me.

Unclad ones.

I was barely wearing anything.

I recognized them, they were pictures from ten years ago.

A message was attached to it:

‘Meet me up at Crimson’s by noon today or you will see this on your class group chat.’

I swallowed hard, pursing my teeth in agony, who could be doing this to me?

I checked the time, and it was almost noon.

Whoever was doing this has to be stopped, I didn't care anymore, I was done being watched, controlled, and threatened! I need to know what they want! And why were they doing this to me,

Another part of me wanted to drive straight home and inform Dwight about this, maybe he could go.

“Change of locations, drive me to the crimson’s instead, I need to get food.”

He nodded, making a U-turn, and finally we arrived there, I paid and got out of the car. My palms are sweaty now as I walk inside, scanning the room for any sight of the man I thought I would be waiting for. Maybe he was the man with the eye patch from the club.

But then my gaze landed on someone else, someone I never wanted to see again.

Adam Lewandowski.

My evil ex.

He looked up smiling at me, his coffee brown eyes locking onto mine.

“Hello, B.”