Chapter 39 Chapter Thirty-Nine
Danny POV
I leaned in to kiss her, my face hovering just inches away from hers, longing tightening my gut.
I had been dreaming of doing this for three years and with our lips almost touching at a fair distance I closed my eyes. Then I heard it—a creak from somewhere in the apartment.
Maybe it was Bean waking or just the floorboards acting to their age but it was enough. Vanessa pulled back immediately, her eyes going wide, her hand flying to her lips like she'd been caught doing something she wasn't supposed to.
"Did you hear that?" she whispered.
"Yeah," I whispered back, my heart still pounding but for entirely different reasons now.
We both went perfectly still, listening. The entire apartment was silent except for the slight hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen and the distant sound of traffic outside.
No footsteps,or doors opening.
Thirty seconds passed. Then a minute.
Nothing
After a while it was clear Bean wasn't going to emerge from her room to find me here.
Nothing.
"I think we're okay," I said quietly, but Vanessa was already pulling away, putting distance between us on the bed.
"This is crazy," she said, running her hands through her hair.
"You shouldn't be here. If Bean wakes up and finds you—"
"She won't," I assured her.
"We'll be quiet."
"Danny, she just had her heart broken by her boyfriend who confessed he's in love with me," Vanessa hissed, keeping her voice low.
"The last thing she needs is to wake up and find you in my room. She'll think—" She stopped, shaking her head.
"I don't even know what she'll think, but it won't be good." she muttered underneath her breath.
She had a point,Bean was already dealing with enough without adding this complication.
"Okay," I said.
"You're right. I should probably go."
But I didn't move, I really couldn't quite make myself stand up and walk away from this moment, from the feel of Vanessa's lips almost on mine haunted me.
"Before you go," Vanessa said, and there was something different in her voice now. Something determined.
"I need to know something."
"Anything," I said.
"Are you still interested in helping me with my dissertation?" she asked.
"The interviews with the hockey players will be tricky for me—so I would like your help."
“ I don't mind doing that much” I mumbled and she nodded
“ I don't want to force you into anything” she said softly and I shook my head.
"I'm saying yes because your research is brilliant and important and I want to help," I said honestly.
"And because getting to spend more time with you while doing it is just a bonus."
A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.
"Three years has made you such a smooth talker."
"Only with you," I admitted.
"With everyone else I'm incredibly awkward."
"That's not true," Vanessa said.
"You're the team captain, you give speeches to your teams so you're literally charisma personified when you need to be."
"That's different," I said.
"That's a performance. This—" I gestured between us,
"—this is real. And when it's real, I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm just hoping I don't screw it up."
Vanessa's expression softened.
"You're not screwing it up."
"Give me time," I said with a self-deprecating smile.
"I'm sure I'll find a way."
"Don't say that," Vanessa said, reaching for my hand again.
" I'm giving you a real chance, because I want this to work out between us and I hope you want that to”
"I do," I said immediately.
"I believe in us more than I've ever believed in anything. Including hockey."
"Don't let your father hear you say that," Vanessa said, but there was warmth in her voice now.
"My father can deal with it," I said.
We sat there for another moment, our hands linked, neither of us quite ready to break the spell of this night despite how badly it had started.
Then Vanessa glanced at the window, and I followed her gaze to see the sky starting to lighten.
It wasn't quite dawn yet, but close enough.
"What time is it?" she asked.
I checked my phone.
"Almost five."
"Five?" Vanessa stood up quickly.
"Danny, you have to go. Bean's alarm goes off at six-thirty for her early class. If you're still here when she wakes up—"
"I'm going, I'm going," I said, standing too and looking around for my shoes. Where had I even taken them off? Had I taken them off?
There—by the door. I slipped them on quickly while Vanessa paced, her nervous energy filling the small room.
"Are you sure she's going to class?" I asked.
"After everything that happened tonight?"
"She never misses," Vanessa said.
"She'll go and then she'll cry in the bathroom between classes and pretend everything's fine."
The certainty in her voice told me this wasn't the first time Bean had behaved that way .
"Will you be okay today?" I asked.
Vanessa paused in her pacing and looked up at me smiling
"I have to be. I have classes too. And my dissertation isn't going to write itself."
"That's not what I asked."
She looked at me, exhaustion written all over her face and she shrugged
"I'll be okay," she said finally.
"Eventually. Right now I just need to focus on getting through today. And making sure Bean gets through today."
"And who's taking care of you?" I asked softly.
"You are," Vanessa said simply.
"By being here tonight and listening to me."
My chest tightened with emotion I didn't have words for.
"Always. I'll always be here when you need me."
"I'm going to hold you to that," Vanessa said, trying for a smile.
"Please do."
She walked me to her bedroom door, opening it carefully and peering out into the hallway. The apartment was still dark and quiet, Bean's door firmly closed.
"The coast is clear," Vanessa whispered.
We crept through the living room like teenagers sneaking around after curfew, Vanessa leading the way and gesturing for me to avoid the creaky floorboards. At the front door, she turned to face me one more time.
"Thank you," she said quietly.
"For coming and explaining everything. For being patient with me."
"You don't have to thank me for any of that," I said.
"I do, though," Vanessa insisted.
“ We've been enemies so long that you didn't have to bother” she mumbled and I shrugged
"There's just you and you're worth every second of waiting. You're worth all of it, Vanessa."
Her eyes filled with tears, and she blinked rapidly, trying to keep them from falling.
"You need to stop saying things like that," she said, her voice thick.
"Or I might never let you leave."
"Then don't," I said, only half-joking.
"Danny."
"I know, I know. Bean. Classes. Real life." I sighed dramatically.
"Fine. I'll go."
But first, I leaned down and kissed her cheek more times.
"Text me later?" I asked when I pulled back.
"I will," Vanessa promised.
She opened the door for me, and I stepped out into the hallway, immediately feeling the loss of her presence.
"Get some sleep," I said.
"You look exhausted."
"So do you," she countered.
"Your face is all swollen from the fight."
"Battle scars," I said with a grin.
"Makes me look tough."
"Makes you look like an idiot who got into a fight at a party," Vanessa said, but she was smiling.
"Potato, po-tah-to."
She shook her head, still smiling, and started to close the door. Then she paused.
"Danny?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm glad you threw rocks at my window like some kind of romantic movie cliché," she said.
"Yeah?" I asked, grinning wider despite the pain in my face.
"Yeah," she confirmed. "It was kind of perfect."
Then she closed the door softly, and I was left standing in the hallway, grinning like an idiot and feeling more hopeful than I had in three years.
I made my way down the stairs and out to my car, the early morning air cold and crisp. The parking lot was almost completely deserted with just a few early risers heading to the gym or the library.
I sat in my car for a moment before starting it, looking back up at Vanessa's building. I could just make out her window—second floor, fourth from the left—and as I watched, I saw her silhouette appear there.
She was standing at the window, looking down at where my car was parked.
I lifted my hand in a wave, and even from here, I could see her wave back.
We stayed like that for a long moment—me in my car, her at her window, neither of us quite ready to break this connection even though we both knew I had to leave.
Finally, Vanessa pressed her hand to the glass,then she stepped back from the window, and the curtain fell closed.
But I was still smiling like a goddamn idiot.