Chapter 59: The answer I didn't want

Milie's POV

"Alan, if it is not a rejection, then is it a yes?" Emma's voice trembled.

The entire room seemed to hold its breath. Alan looked at her for a long moment.

His jaw tightened. Then he looked away.

"Emma..." His voice came out gentle. "Can we please talk about this later?"

Emma went completely still. Nobody knew what to say. Nobody knew where to look.

Then Ryan suddenly cleared his throat. "So..."

He grabbed a slice of pizza. "Anybody else hungry?"

A few awkward chuckles escaped around the room.

The tension loosened, but only for a while.

Emma forced a smile. "I'm just going to get some air."

Before anyone could stop her, she walked away.

Tessa immediately stood. "I'm coming." The two disappeared down the hallway.

My eyes automatically drifted to Alan. He was watching them leave.

His expression wasn't relieved. It was helplessness.

Not because he didn't know what to answer. But because he hated hurting people.

Especially people who cared about him.

I knew that look. I had seen it before.

Someone else's pain always became his burden.

He squeezed his eyes shut briefly before placing his glass down.

"I'll check on her." And just like that, he left, and my chest twisted painfully.

I stared at the doorway long after he disappeared.

"What if he says yes?" The thought struck me like lightning. "What if he gives her a chance?"

"What if he realizes Emma is beautiful and perfect for him?"

I swallowed against the tight knot forming in my throat.

"Why shouldn't he? Why should he wait for me? I never chose him. I always chose Daxton."

"Just now, Daxton even announced it in front of everyone. We're now together… Officially."

I had made my choice, again and again, and Alan had respected it every single time.

Maybe he had finally moved on.

Maybe that was why he looked so comfortable dancing with Emma earlier.

The last time they danced, his eyes had constantly drifted toward me.

Tonight they hadn't. Tonight, he looked relaxed and comfortable.

And somehow that hurt far more than it should have.

A few minutes later, Tessa returned alone. I immediately looked behind her.

Alan wasn't there. The ache inside my chest worsened.

Now they were alone. My stupid imagination instantly betrayed me—Alan comforting her, wiping her tears, taking her into his arms.

I hated every image my mind created, and suddenly I stood up.

Across the room, Sammy noticed, and so did Daxton.

"Hey?" Daxton caught my wrist.

"Where are you going?"

"Washroom… Need to use the washroom." The lie came too quickly.

Daxton frowned. "Today you're talking weird."

I forced a smile. "Just a washroom."

He released my hand. I escaped before anyone could stop me.

The moment I climbed up, I exhaled. Once. Twice. Thrice.

Yet nothing helped. The pressure inside my chest only grew stronger.

I pushed open the terrace door, and the cold night air greeted me.

I walked toward the railing. "Do I really need air?" I asked myself.

"Or am I looking for Alan?" My feet answered before my brain could.

I stepped closer to the edge and looked down into the garden below.

And there they were... Alan and Emma, standing beneath the yellow garden lights.

I couldn't hear their conversation. I couldn't see their expressions clearly.

But I saw Emma wiping her eyes. I saw Alan step closer.

My breath caught, my eyes turned away. My heart couldn't take it.

Maybe nothing happened. Maybe everything happened.

My imagination filled the gaps faster than reality could.

Of course, he would comfort her. Of course, he wouldn't leave her crying.

That's who Alan was.

Before I realized, a tear escaped, then another.

I breathed long, trying to relieve my heavy heart, but just then—"Milie."

I froze. I knew that voice.

"Sammy." I wiped my face hurriedly, but it's too late.

His expression changed instantly. "What happened?"

I shook my head, looking at my feet. Nothing came out.

His gaze moved past me, toward the garden. Then back to me, and suddenly his face lost all color.

For a moment, he looked genuinely scared.

"Milie..." He stepped even closer. "What are these tears for?"

I laughed weakly. "Nothing." I looked away.

A pathetic attempt.

"Don't." His voice softened. "Don't lie to me."

The concern in his eyes shattered whatever control I had left.

A held sob escaped, and my chest shuddered despite my control.

I pressed my hand against my chest. "It hurts, Sammy."

The words slipped out before I could stop them. "It hurts so much."

His eyes widened. For several seconds, he simply stared at me.

Then— "You like Alan?" The question came out as a whisper.

My head moved instantly. Too quickly. "No."

"Milie."

"No."

"Then why the hell are you crying?" His voice carried frustration now.

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

Because I didn't know or maybe I knew and refused to admit it.

Sammy exhaled hard. "Please tell me I'm wrong."

My eyes met his. "Milie, please." His voice cracked.

The fear in his eyes made me realize the hard truth. This wasn't only about me. This wasn't only about Alan.

This was about Daxton, too. His best friend. The boy who loved me. The boy who was waiting downstairs.

"I don't know," I whispered.

Sammy closed his eyes. For a second, he looked exhausted.

"How did I miss it? How? Every time someone talks about Alan, you react."

"Every time he gets hurt, you get hurt."

"Every time he's happy, you're happier than him."

He raked his hair in frustration.

"Even today... I saw your face downstairs."

"I saw the way you looked when Alan was dancing with Emma."

I looked away. Tears rolled down my cheeks.

"I saw the way you went completely numb when Emma confessed."

"Stop." I snapped.

"I wish I could."

"Sammy..."

"No, my girl." The word 'my girl' broke something inside me.

He wasn't accusing me. He wasn't judging me. He was hurting himself, caught between two people he loved.

"I'm with Daxton," I said, relieving him of choosing between us.

But the sentence sounded less like an answer and more like a reminder to him, to me.

Sammy didn't respond immediately. He looked toward the garden.

Then toward the room downstairs, where Daxton was probably waiting.

And finally, back at me. "I don't know what to do." His honesty shattered me, because neither did I.

For the first time in my life, my heart was giving me an answer, and I was terrified to hear it.