Chapter 53: First Kiss

Milie's POV

We walked away from Sammy and Alan, but my thoughts refused to stay where they should.

Alan had looked away the moment Dax took my hand.

The image lingered longer than I wanted it to.

I tightened my fingers around Dax's. "Focus, Milie. Tonight was about us."

"About giving this a real chance."

"I can't believe we're actually doing this," Dax said suddenly.

"Huh?"

"A date." A smile spread across his face.

The word still sounded strange—a date.

Not hanging out. Not childhood friends. Not our usual chaos. A date.

Just then, Dax lifted our joined hands and pressed a quick kiss against my knuckles.

I stiffened instinctively.

He didn't notice. Or maybe he pretended not to.

He had done this before, kissed my forehead, my cheeks, hugged me a thousand times.

But now every gesture felt different. And that difference made me nervous.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah."

I smiled quickly. The lie wasn't entirely a lie.

I was okay. Just nervous. Super nervous, in fact.

A few minutes later, we reached my house. My eyes widened immediately. "Wait."

I pointed toward the car parked outside. "You borrowed your dad's car?"

Dax looked ridiculously proud. "Maybe."

I burst out laughing. "You did all this for one date?"

"It's our first date, not just any date."

His grin widened. "I wanted it to be special."

Something warm spread through my chest. Because this was who he was.

When he cared, he cared with his whole heart.

He opened the passenger door for me dramatically.

I groaned. "Oh my God. Stop."

"No."

"Dax."

"Not happening today."

Laughing, I climbed inside, and Dax got the car behind the wheel.

"So," Dax said, pulling onto the road. "How did you and Sammy end up racing?"

"Because we're idiots."

"Hehehe… Fair."

I laughed.

"And Alan?" He asked further, casually, but I still noticed it.

"He was coming back from the convenience store. And he stopped by, seeing us arguing.

Dax nodded. "Hmm."

The 'hmm' didn't feel okay, so I tried to cover it up. "Isn't it good? Now Sammy won't be alone."

He glanced at me. "It's just a matter of a few hours, Milie. Sammy wouldn't feel left out."

"And I talked to him last night."

"You did?"

"Yeah. He was so happy about this."

He shook his head, a small smile appearing on his face. "My feelings for you aren't going to change my friendship with him."

My heart squeezed. That was my Dax. Always taking care of us.

Without thinking, I leaned over and kissed his cheek. "We love you."

His smile softened instantly. "There she is."

I blinked. "There who is?"

"My Milie."

His eyes returned to the road. "For a while, it felt like you disappeared."

The guilt hit me immediately. "I'm sorry."

"No." He shook his head. "I understand."

He again glanced at me. "It still sucked, though."

I laughed. He laughed too, and just like that, the tension eased.

Thirty-five minutes later, we reached the restaurant.

I stopped walking. Then looked at Dax. Then back at the restaurant. Then at Dax again.

"Dax."

"What?"

"There are candles."

"Yes."

"There are flowers."

"Yes."

"A violin is literally playing."

His expression became defensive.

I narrowed my eyes.

"You Googled first-date ideas."

His silence answered me, and I burst out laughing.

"Oh my God."

"Milie..."

"You researched dating?"

He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Every article said a romantic restaurant is a must."

I laughed so hard that I had to hold my stomach. His ears turned red.

"This is the cutest thing you've ever done."

"Can we move on?" Dax said, rolling his eyes.

"No."

"Milie."

"No."

Eventually, he dragged me inside while I continued laughing.

Dinner started surprisingly well.

We talked about professors, assignments, and Sammy's latest stupidity.

For a while, everything felt easy until my phone rang.

"Aunt Grace?" I answered immediately.

"Darling, sorry to disturb you. Actually... Nana wants to talk to you."

My smile widened instantly. "Nana?"

A moment later, her excited voice filled my ear.

"Milie, will you help me celebrate Alan's birthday?"

I sat up straighter, excitement filling me. "Oh, it's Alan's birthday? When?"

Across the table, Dax looked away, and excitement disappeared immediately.

"What is wrong with me? Tonight is supposed to be about Dax. Not Alan."

"Yes, Nana… don't worry, we will plan a good surprise." I wrapped up the call as quickly as possible.

Then reached out to Dax's hands across the table.

"Dax."

"Hm?"

I squeezed his hand.

"I'm sorry."

He smiled. But it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I know I shouldn't feel this way."

"Dax—"

"But I do."

His fingers intertwined with mine.

"I know he likes you."

The honesty surprised me.

"And I know you enjoy being around him."

I looked down because both things were true.

"It's not like I don't trust you." His voice softened. "I do, but I can't help with my own fears."

My chest tightened. I squeezed his hand harder.

"You don't have to compete with anyone."

His smile finally became genuine. Thankfully, after that, things went smoothly.

We drifted back into stories, into laughter, into us.

And for a while, I wasn't thinking about anything else or Alan.

After dinner, he drove us to our favorite ice cream place. The one that all three of us loved.

The one where Sammy somehow managed to eat half of everyone else's dessert.

"You were craving this, weren't you?"

"A little."

"A little?"

"Fine. A lot."

He laughed. "There she is again."

And somehow we found our rhythm.

Not boyfriend-girlfriend. Not best friends. Just us.

So why did it still feel like something was missing?

The drive home was quiet. I rested my head against the window while our favorite playlist played softly.

"Tonight hadn't been bad. In fact, it had been wonderful."

"So why do I feel something still missing?" I exhaled, trying to push that feeling away.

A few minutes later, Dax slowed the car. I looked outside.

He stopped a little away from my driveway.

"Dax? Why did you stop here?"

He turned toward me. And suddenly I felt nervous.

"Can I tell you something?"

I nodded. Slowly, he took my hand and placed it against his chest.

His heartbeat pounded beneath my palm. Fast and uneven.

"Feel that?"

I nodded.

He smiled faintly. "You know..." His thumb brushed softly across my hand.

"For years, every hug from you did this to me."

My breath caught.

"Every time you kissed my cheek." His eyes dropped briefly.

"Every time you said you loved me."

A weak laugh escaped him. "I had to act normal."

I stared at him. "And now, when you know everything."

His eyes softened. "I still sometimes get into my old habit. But not today."

My chest hurt, because he was real and honest, and he deserved someone who loved him exactly the way he loved.

"Dax...I'm sorry, I don't know if I could stand—"

"You've already given me more than I ever hoped for, Milie."

His hand lifted, gently brushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

Then his gaze dropped briefly to my lips, then returned to my eyes, asking for my permission, giving me every chance to stop him, to pull away, but I didn't.

Maybe because I wanted to know. Maybe because part of me believed this was the next step, I was supposed to be ready.

I closed my eyes, my way of yes. And slowly, he leaned closer, then pressed my lips with his, softly and gently.

As if I were something precious, something fragile.

It was a perfect kiss, yet somehow I didn't feel what I was supposed to feel.

When he pulled away, I opened my eyes, and his eyes searched mine, but I looked down at my lap.

I didn't want him to read my eyes, because if he did, he would understand.

"I need to go." The words escaped before I could stop them, my hand already reaching for the door.

"Milie." He called softly.

I briefly looked back at him.

He smiled... A smile so full of happiness that guilt pierced straight through me.

"Thank you."

My throat tightened.

He continued. "You made one of my dreams come true."

I forced a smile. "Goodnight, Dax."

Then I stepped out before he could see the panic growing behind my eyes.

I walked toward my house faster than I should have.

"It was my first kiss. Why wasn't I happy?"

"Why didn't it feel right? Why were there no fireworks like it was supposed to?"