Chapter 39: Fake or Real?

Alan's POV.

Lunch felt longer than it should have

Not because of the food. Not because of the noise.

But because she was sitting right there, across from me, and I was pretending she didn't exist.

I hated it.

Every instinct in me wanted to look up, catch her eye, and say something stupid to make her smile.

But I didn't.

"In your dreams." Her message echoed in my head. A faint smirk tugged at my lips, but it didn't stay long.

I was giving her everything… and she still wasn't ready to even joke about liking me.

If I kept giving, she would never feel the absence. And I needed her to feel it.

"Beach after this?" Sammy clapped, breaking the silence.

"Sounds great!" Emma said instantly, turning to me. "Alan, can you carry my stuff?"

Before I could respond, her arm slipped into mine. I didn't pull away.

"Sure," I said casually.

From the corner of my eye, I caught it—Milie's gaze.

There it was again, that small discomfort.

The beach was calmer than I expected.

Waves crashed softly against the shore, the wind brushed past, and the sand felt warm beneath my feet.

Everyone scattered almost immediately. Sammy and Tessa ran straight into the water.

Dax stayed back with Milie.

And me? I stood there for a moment, just watching her.

She laughed at something Sammy shouted, ran toward the waves, and splashed water like a child who had forgotten the world existed beyond that moment.

She looked happy. But every now and then, her eyes found me.

And every single time, I looked away.

"Alan…" Emma's voice pulled me out of my trance.

Before I could react, she grabbed my hand and dragged me forward.

"Hey—wait—"

"Nope!"

She pulled me straight into the water and shoved. I lost my balance and fell back with a splash.

Before I could even get up, she leaned into me, forcing me to catch her.

For a second, it looked intimate. My hands were on her bare back.

And the first thing I did was look for Milie.

She was standing at a distance. Her smile had faded.

I straightened immediately and moved Emma away.

"Careful."

"I knew you'd catch me," she laughed, splashing water again.

Sammy and Tessa joined in, turning it into chaos.

I smiled, but I wasn't there anymore.

"Milie, careful!"

Dax's voice cut through everything. My head snapped toward them.

She had slipped slightly near the edge, but steadied herself quickly, laughing it off.

Dax held her arm.

She smiled at him, warm and easy.

But then, her eyes lifted, and met mine.

Something twisted in my chest. She didn't look upset, but she didn't look okay either.

"What are you doing, Alan? This wasn't supposed to hurt her. It was supposed to make her feel something."

"Not push her away."

"Sammy… we're leaving."

Dax's voice broke through the noise. Everything stilled.

"Why?" Sammy frowned.

"We're tired," Dax said shortly. "We'll be in the room."

My eyes stayed on Milie. She didn't argue. Didn't explain.

She just looked at me one last time and turned away.

That look—It wasn't anger. It wasn't ego. It was something quieter. Something heavier.

Guilt hit me instantly. Maybe I pushed too far.

For me, this distance made sense.

For her, it might feel like rejection.

I ran a hand through my hair, exhaling sharply. "You wanted her closer…And now you're the one creating the distance."

She didn't look back. Not even once.

We stayed at the beach a little longer, but I wasn't really there.

By the time we got back, Dax was already in the room.

"Hey, you guys came early?" Sammy asked.

"Exhausted," Dax replied.

"Where's Milie?"

"In her room."

Something in his tone made Sammy pause.

"Everything okay?"

"I don't know."

Dax's eyes flickered—briefly—to me.

That was enough. I knew something was off.

I stepped out, needing air. That's when I heard voices.

It was Tessa and Emma.

"…I'm telling you, there's nothing between them."

"Exactly. That whole pool thing? Probably just to prove a point."

"She's bluffing."

My jaw clenched.

"She really thinks Alan would—"

I didn't wait to hear the rest. A hollow laugh almost escaped me.

"Bluffing? If only they knew. It wasn't her chasing me. It was me losing control over her."

I stood under the shower, letting the cold water run over my face.

And then it hit me. "If she wanted fake—Fine."

I'd give her something that didn't feel fake at all.

I knocked on the girls' room.

Tessa opened the door, surprised.

"Hey—"

"Can I come in?" I asked casually. "Need to see my girl."

She blinked.

"My—?"

"Mils."

A brief silence followed, then she stepped aside.

"Oh… yeah… come in."

My eyes found her instantly. She was lying on the bed, with her face buried in her arms. Pretending.

I walked over and sat beside her.

My fingers slipped into her hair, brushing through it gently.

"Still mad at me?" I murmured.

No response.

Her grip on the pillow tightened.

I tilted her face up anyway.

"Hey…" My voice softened, just enough for the room to hear.

"Don't ignore me like that. I don't like it."

Her eyes snapped to mine. There it was, hurt, confusion, and anger again.

"Good. She feeling it."

"You know what your problem is?" I said quietly, brushing my thumb along her cheek.

She didn't answer. Just looked at me.

"You think you have to become something else… to be loved."

I shook my head slowly. "No, I like you exactly like this."

My gaze didn't leave hers.

"The way you fight me… the way you pretend you don't care… the way you laugh like you don’t belong to this world…"

My voice dropped. "You are natural, unfiltered, and real."

I leaned in just a little. "That's the version of you I like."

She didn't smile. Didn't deflect. Didn't joke. She stared at me, sinking in every word I said.

I helped her sit up and pulled her into my arms.

"Relax," I whispered near her ear. "We're convincing them, remember?"

A soft breath left her. But she didn't pull away. Her fingers curled into my shirt, holding.

Definitely not acting.

That one small thing hit harder than anything. I pressed a light kiss to her forehead.

She pulled back slowly. "You're impossible," she whispered, her hand still holding me.

That was enough for now.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly.

"I'm sorry too." We smiled, and a small pause settled between us.

"I think I ruined your beach moment," I added. "Let me fix it?"

She nodded. I extended my hand to her. She gave her into mine, and the moment we stepped out—

She broke. A laugh burst out of her.

"OH MY GOD—did you see their faces?!"

Before I could react, she jumped onto my back.

"Hey—careful!" I staggered, but held her.

"Monkey," I muttered.

"I don't care," she grinned, pressing her cheek against mine.

And then—a quick, tight kiss on my cheek.

For a second, I froze.

She didn't even realize what she'd done. I was sure.

But I did. And it was not fake, not even close.

I adjusted my hold on her, steadying both of us.

"Ready for round two?" I asked, a smirk slipping back.

"Beach?" she asked instantly.

"Wherever you want."

She leaned closer, her voice softer now.

"I'm fine with wherever you take me."

I smiled, my heart drummed against my ribs.

She still didn't know what she was doing, but I was running out of ways to pretend this was just a game.

"Tonight," I decided quietly, "I'm not holding back."