Chapter 25: There’s no other

Nevaeh:

I can’t believe this is happening. Mikhail just asked Azazel to mark me. I don’t know what to feel. Azazel clears his throat, startling me from my panicked thoughts. “How about we go into my study.”

Swallowing hard, I look at him and wave my hand nervously. He doesn’t smile, which only heightens my anxiety. His eyes are distant, and his body is stiff. However, I can’t stop looking at his brooding features. He is so beautiful with his golden looks, broad shoulders, and an angelic face that I’m floored. It’s difficult to think of him being a demon, considering how gorgeous he is. I mean, come on, books always describe demons as being ugly with hooves and horns. Azazel is none of those things.

Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I can admit that I feel something for him. But it doesn’t compare to what I feel for Mikhail. I love Mikhail with a passion that exceeds anything in the world. With Azazel, it feels like a deep sexual need. My body tells me that he would be a great lover, and my mind can see that he could have been someone I could have loved, but I know it will never be because Mikhail is my everything. I imagine that in another place and time, Azazel and I would have been happy together. Right now, all I feel is extreme discomfort and fear that this thing we’re doing will ruin Mikhail and my relationship.

Wrapping my arms around me, I follow him into his study. My body quivers with fear and excitement as Azazel approaches his desk and takes a seat. His mouth opens as if he’s about to say something, but he closes it back up. That’s probably the only indication that shows me he’s as nervous as I am.

I move to stand before him in hopes that he’ll soothe my fears. To my surprise, Azazel rises to stand in front of me and slides his hand around my waist, pulling me flush against his chest. I’m sure he can hear my ragged breathing and thundering heart, but he doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he gives me a reassuring smile.

“I will never hurt you, love.” He whispers in my ear. My body shudders at the feel of his breath on my skin as his lips move closer to search mine. His lips are as soft and lush as I expected them to be. He’s definitely experienced at the art of kissing because I’m quickly drawn into it. Wrapping my hands around his neck, I pull him closer and slide my tongue hesitantly into the warm cavern of his mouth. The kiss intensifies as our minds shut down and our bodies take over. There’s no way that I can pretend that I don’t like it by my reaction. Groaning with pleasure, Azazel slides his hands down to my rear and lifts me on top of his desk.

Soft mewls escape my lips at the feel of his firm body molding to my supple one. Azazel moves between my open legs and slides his hands up my thighs as his lips devour mine. Breathless from our exertions, I place a hand on his cheek and pull away. Eyes glazed with passion, I gasp at the sight of his glowing eyes and pointed fangs.

Azazel must take my reaction the wrong way because he tries to hide his face from my appraisal. I’m such an idiot. As gently as I can, I move his chin up to me and kiss his eyes, nose, and mouth. I don’t want him to think that I find him distasteful because I don’t. If anything, he looks wild.

Thankfully, my kiss eases him, and all the tension he’s holding inside of him drains from his body. His shoulders relax, and his eyes soften. It’s a sight to see.

Azazel continues his exploration while I wrap my arms around his neck and observe through the fringe of my lashes as he caresses his hands down my chest. Unable to help myself, I grind my center against his and pull him close as his hands enfold my breasts. His rough hands pinch and squeeze the soft weight of my breasts, making my buds harden with bittersweet pain.

Azazel nips my shoulder as he makes his way down my chest and kisses my breasts through my dress. I might as well not be wearing anything because it feels amazing. A guilty part of me aches at the thought that I’m so enraptured by him when I have a boyfriend. However, I assure myself that it’s nowhere near as good as how it is when Mikhail touches me, and I hold on to that thought tightly. The deafening roar in my ears intensifies as his hands wander down my thighs and lift the hem of my dress until he reveals my delicate thighs.

I close my eyes with every scorching touch of his fingers kindles a pulse of desire inside of me. He moves the string of my dress down until my top is resting around my waist and baring my naked chest to his hungry eyes. Soft mewls and moans echo throughout the room as we strain to get closer. I almost fall off the desk when he kisses between my breasts then swirls his tongue around my needy bud.

I’m close to the precipice of my completion and nearly incoherent at the feel of his lips traversing my stomach. My body shudders with pleasure. It’s only when he kisses his way down my thighs that the feeling of wrongness overwhelms me. I look down at his face, my hair flowing wildly around me in a curtain, and resist the urge to pull him away. I’m so confused. My body is ready, but my mind is shying away from the desire I felt a second ago. Azazel, however, is ready. His lips are swollen, and his eyes are hazy with desire. I observe with trepidation as he opens his mouth, revealing razor-sharp teeth and wince when he sinks them inside my thigh. You’d think it would have hurt, but it doesn’t. In fact, it’s so pleasurable that I cry out and nearly faint at the euphoric feelings his bite has evoked. “Oh, God.” I shudder as waves of bliss roll throughout every nerve in my body.

Azazel pulls closer with a growl as he marks my body. At first, I feel a tingle on my hip near my pelvic bone. It’s like a million heated needles are piercing my skin. Then, the heat dies down until it’s a dull ache.

Once the pain is gone, Azazel moves his head away from my thigh and faces. He looks conflicted, and I don’t know what to say to make it better because I’m feeling the same.

It’s only when he turns away that the severity of what we did hits me. Azazel sifts his fingers through his hair with a frustrated sigh and paces in place. His breathing is ragged, and his back is stiff.

I’m adjusting my dress and pulling the straps up when Azazel finally speaks. “Don’t…”

I look up, startled by his tone. His intense eyes are gazing upon mine with a mixture of expressions. Some that I refuse to acknowledge because it would only lead to pain. To my surprise, he grips the string of my dress and gently pulls it back into place. He doesn’t look away, which is a bit unnerving. It makes me feel like I’m drowning.

When the straps are in place, he leans his mouth close to mine and kisses me gently before he whispers. “I love you.”

I’m shocked. I don’t know what to say, so I opt to kiss him again. At my response, Azazel reluctantly moves away. “I know… I know that you don’t feel the same way, but I needed you to know that I love you, and I will protect you until my dying breath. I wish I was the one for you, luv, but I know that Mikhail is the better man.”

A tear slides down my cheek at his words. It saddens me that he’s alone. If I had one wish, it would be that he finds his soul mate. Azazel wipes my tears with a gentle smile. “Azazel… I love you too. You’re my best friend.”

His nostrils flare, and he takes a deep breath. “I know, and I can live with that. Thank you, luv.” I nod my head and hug him close. This man. This wonderful man who deserves better than to lose his heart to me.

We both look at the mark on my hip before adjusting our clothes. It’s like nothing I have ever seen before. Azazel caresses it and kisses it gently before he releases me. As we walk out the door, he turns me and whispers. “Just one last kiss, love.”

I kiss him on the lips, and he takes a step back. It wasn’t a passionate kiss. It was more of a goodbye kiss. As soon as he’s out the door, I stop and take a minute to compose myself. Once I find my composure, I walk out of the room. As soon as I do, I hear voices and the sound of a door closing. I step into the living room and nearly faint with trepidation when I come face to face with Mikhail. My heart plummets, and my stomach churns as I gaze into his loving eyes. To my relief, Mikhail steps forward, wraps his arms around me and kisses me passionately.

After we’re done kissing, Mikhail pushes my head against his neck and whispers in my ear. “Don’t be ashamed, princess. I know that this was a difficult decision for you, and I love you for choosing this. I promise you, I don’t hate you or him. To be honest, I don’t know if I would have been strong enough to do this if the shoe was on the other foot.”

I nod my head with relief. “I love you to Mikhail—more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life. I can never love anyone, not even Azazel, as much as I love you.”

Mikhail pulls me into the warmth of his arms and kisses my temple with a grateful smile, and leads me to the door. “Let’s go home, princess. I want to spend the rest of the day with you in my arms. That night, Mikhail makes love to me. It’s wild and untamed. As if he’s trying to reassure me of his love. Everything is perfect.