Chapter 88 My Darkness
❀ Maeve ❀
I reclined in bed, still reeling from the high of pleasure.
Nikolai sorted through his wardrobe with my gaze locked on him.
“Are you really going out with dawn so close?” I asked.
I’d peeked out the shutters while he washed in the bathroom, curious about the time of day.
“I’m trying out a new strategy.” He pulled on his popular cape, the sun-repellent one. “Since Graves is human, he may be moving freely during the day and holing up at night.”
“If that were the case, Bastian would’ve found him. He searched almost every day in IronWolf.”
“Haven’t we agreed your wolf isn’t really good at his job?” Nikolai taunted.
I slitted my gaze. “Watch it.”
He scoffed, fully dressed now. Regal and intimidating. Light played on the fabric of his well-cut garb, moving in a way that would hide him in plain sight. Like an invisible man.
But misgivings arose, the memory of that vampire lynching back in blackbridge playing like a crude film.
Just one tug and he’d be reduced to dust.
“Maybe you shouldn’t go. I have a bad feeling about this.”
“You think I’m going to hunt Bastian?” He glanced at me. “Fear not. Maverick Graves takes priority. For now.”
His sword hissed a threatening whisper as he slid it out of its sheath. He observed it in the warm light of the ever-burning hearth.
It was always cold in the vampiric kingdom tucked high in the mountains.
Immortals had little need for regulated temperature, but the home needed it more. Frozen furniture and floors would be a hassle to maintain.
“How long will you be out, then?”
“Worried you’ll miss me?”
“I already miss you.”
“Like you miss the mutt?”
“Don’t call him that,” I chided. “One day, when both of you finally learn to get along, you’ll see how similar you both are.”
Nikolai let out an amused snort. “I can’t decide whether to find your fantasy amusing or maddening.”
“It will happen. We should bet on it.”
He walked to me, his hand caressing my exposed thigh as he smiled, fangs flashing. “I bet it’ll feel like confiscating a favourite toy of yours.”
“Not a toy. My goddess-given mate,” I insisted.
“Then she made a mistake.”
My claws curled. “Only if you’ll accept that you are the error.”
With a sigh, he rose from the bed.
Back to me, he asked dryly, “If you could only have one—”
“I don’t want to.” My voice softened as I reached for him. “Isn’t that answer enough? I love you both equally, and this is bigger than romance. I strongly believe the three of us were joined to make a real change.”
“What change?”
I relaxed onto my stomach, legs lazily swaying in the air.
“Bastian may become the next alpha, and I’m to be queen of Veilmoor. You are my anchor on my vampire side, and he is for my wolf side. Even though I haven’t discovered my powers on either side, I know it’ll be a challenge existing as both. You’re both here to help me. And I’m here as a catalyst for change.”
When I finished, I nodded almost to myself. It had just become clearer. My destiny was bigger than anything I could have envisioned, and I needed all the support I could get.
What better way to cement my confidence than my mates?
“Which reminds me. You promised to train me. I’m ready.”
Nikolai turned then, his brows furrowed. I was sure he saw sense in my analysis. That didn’t mean he agreed with it.
“I did promise that. But are you sure? You’ve been through some rough patches. Why don’t you rest more?”
I narrowed my eyes. “What secret plans do you have now? You were the one who put this whole wheel in motion. You refused to free me, insisting I take the throne. Now you want me to lie back? And do what?”
“And observe. Might isn’t always power. Sometimes, information is power.”
“Information won’t save my ass when your Lilith comes to reap my queenly head. Or when Drusilla decides she wants the throne after all. And Vladis… what’s his deal?”
Nikolai’s eyes flashed at the name. “Avoid him. He hasn’t been right since Lyssa’s death and the war. He apparently grew closer to her after she was cursed with wrath, and her death broke something in him.”
I sat up at the new information. “So he liked my mother?”
“Only after she became wicked,” his voice was hard.
“How do you know all this?”
“After I was turned and earned her trust, Drusilla confided a lot in me.”
My nose scrunched at his fond tone. “And you’re sure she never tried to make you hers?”
He shook his head. “Not once. I was the closest thing to a son she had.”
“Did she tell you who the father of her child is?”
“That’s none of my business,” he said immediately.
“Well, you must’ve seen her around someone? No guesses?”
“None whatsoever.”
At the stalemate, I grew deep in thought.
To some degree, Drusilla had accepted she might never be the chosen queen, so she endeavored to produce another born female vampire for the stone to choose.
A thought nagged at me.
I crossed my arms over my chest, suddenly feeling small.
“Did she tell you who my father was?”
Nikolai’s gaze softened.
He drew closer and sat at the edge of the bed beside me.
“No. Though I strongly suspect she knows.”
My jaw dropped.
“I knew it! I saw right through her when she said all that bollocks about it being ‘inconsequential.’”
Nikolai smiled. “Indeed.”
“So… any guesses?”
“I’m sorry, but no. The queen hardly announced her plans or associations, especially after her plight with wrath.”
My shoulders sagged.
Were the males in the Crimson line truly that unimportant? It seemed only the females were recognized and titled.
Matriarchal through and through.
“What’s the Crimson family name?” I asked.
“Carmine. You are Maeve de Carmine.”
De Carmine. Deep, rich red.
Fitting.
“De Carmine.” I tasted the name, a blanket of apathy weighing me down.
All my life, I’d been Maeve Till.
Turned out that was a lie.
“Others would slide right into character if they found out their true roots were the royal vampire family. Why are you so unsure? So repulsed?” Nikolai studied my face, his hand cupping my chin.
“Because nothing has changed. In fact, it’s all more complicated now. I think I know my role in all this, but it’s still hard to acclimate. I’m still a prisoner. Still in danger. Still don’t know what the hell I really am. I can’t shift into a wolf, and I can’t live on blood…”
Nikolai shushed me with a brush of his thumb over my lips. “Together?” he asked. “We’ll figure it all out together.”
Hope in my eyes and my tone, I asked, “So you’ll train me?”
His eyes shimmered. “Harder than you know. This time tomorrow, you’ll be chugging blood and tracing like there’s no tomorrow.”
My breath caught.
Did he realize what he’d just said? He had to know that once I could trace, I would leave.
He continued staring into my eyes with conviction.
I got the sense of what he was trying to say.
If I could learn, I would be free.
I lunged forward, hugging him tightly. His arms came up to encase me.
But then I faltered.
He hadn’t expressly said I could leave. What if he had no confidence in my abilities?
What if he was so sure I couldn’t learn to trace that he wouldn’t mind arming me with the skill?
My arms crossed tighter around his back as I whispered, “I’ll make you so proud, my darkness.”
“I don’t doubt it.”
The amusement in his voice broke my heart.