Chapter 10: Trouble of Getting Addicted

Mordecai spent the next three days in that room. He would only call on Geronimo to help him go upstairs to shower and stuff like that. I kept my distance since he asked for his space. I was also dealing with situations of my own in any case.

I hadn’t called Alex back, despite his persistence. I just, I didn’t know what I was going to say to him. He probably doesn’t even know that I know what he said about not trusting me. I just didn’t know whether to mention that I know, or to just pretend I didn’t know anything.

And then there was the kiss with Mordecai.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it; couldn’t stop yearning for more. I also didn’t know whether I should tell Alex about it, but at the same time, Mordecai and I hadn’t spoken about it either. I just didn’t know what to do.

“I’m moving out,” a voice brought me out of thought. I was sitting in the lounge, mindlessly watching TV.

I turned to my best friend. “What?”

“I’m moving out. I got myself an apartment. I can’t stand being here. My best friend is mad at me and my brother is in a pissy mood. I can’t handle the negativity here,” she replied.

I raised an eyebrow at her. “You make it sound like we all like the states we’re in.”

“You’re not doing anything about it. You could yell at me, talk it out or anything, but you’re here walking like a zombie! I don’t know what to do anymore,” she said as she sat down.

“What do you expect Nellie? We don’t all deal with anger the same way,” I pointed out.

“Then talk to me,” she pleaded.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” I answered.

“But you’ll talk to Mordecai? The same person who was supposedly an asshole to you?” she asked.

“At least I didn’t know him, and now that I know him a little more, I understand why he did what he did. What you did on the other hand is another level of betrayal,” I argued.

“I’m sorry Beverly! I don’t know what else to say,” she said as a tear left her eye.

“Just let me deal with this,” I sighed as I got up and left the room.

“Alex is looking for you,” she shouted after me.

“I know,” I replied.

I walked to the library, before heading to Mordecai’s secret room. He was at his desk, furiously typing away at something, but he froze when he noticed my presence, before continuing.

“I thought you were avoiding me,” he commented, not looking my way.

“You asked for space,” I replied.

“Not for three days Bev,” he sighed, stopping to face me. He was wearing glasses and I almost melted there and then.

“You wear glasses?” I squeaked.

He frowned. “Yes, why?”

“Nothing,” I said too quickly. A blush rushed to my cheeks, and he realized why.

“Really? Me in glasses?” he chuckled.

“It’s hot ok?” I mumbled.

“Come here,” he said.

I bit my lip. “There is very dangerous,”

“No it isn’t,” he laughed.

“Besides, you’re injured,” I argued.

“My lap isn’t injured,” he countered.

“You’re not going to give up, are you?” I sighed.

He chuckled. “You know me well enough by now.”

I approached him slowly before turning and sitting on his lap so that my back was to his chest. His arms went around me and I was engulfed by his scent. I’d never felt safer, and I sighed contently when he kissed my shoulder.

“I’ve missed you,” he sighed.

“What have you been doing in here?” I asked him. He turned us around on the swivel chair so that I was facing his laptop.

“I’ve had this story idea for a while. It would be bigger than March, but it would need one hell of a producer for it to come out the way I’d want it to. There’s only one man I know who could pull it off, but the man is basically hard to reach,” he explained.

“Who is it?” I asked.

“Hershel Haskins,” he replied.

I froze.

“Why him?” I whispered.

“He’s the best producer of this generation. All his movies do well,” he replied.

“And you say he’s impossible to reach?” I asked.

“Yeah! Some people apparently only get through to him after a year. His appointments are always booked up and he’s always travelling. It’s my lifelong dream to work with him,” he informed me.

“Wow! You admire him that much?” I asked.

He nodded on my shoulder. “Pretty much.”

“I’m sure if you reach out to him, he’ll help you,” I suggested.

“Trust me, I’ve tried. Also, with my newest reputation, I doubt he’d take my call,” he sighed.

“Speaking of which! Have you heard from Judith?” I asked.

“Not since Monday,” he replied.

“Isn’t that strange?” I asked.

He shrugged. “It is, but what can I do? I trust that she’s handling everything.”

“You trust her a lot,” I commented.

“Speaking of trust; when last did you speak to Alex?” he asked.

“Saturday,” I replied.

“At the apartment?” he asked, the confusion evident in his voice.

“Yeah,” I replied.

“Why?” he asked.

“I don’t know what to say to him,” I sighed.

“You mean you don’t know how to break up with him,” he corrected. I couldn’t say anything to that.

“Bev, you do know that I want to be with you right?” he asked.

“Do you? Do you really?” I asked.

“Of course! What? Don’t you believe me?” he asked.

“I don’t know what to believe,” I mumbled.

“Because you’re still with Alex and you actually feel guilty that I kissed you,” he replied.

“That’s not it,” I sighed.

“Then what is it? What do you want?” he asked.

“I just want to be happy ok? And right now, I don’t know what’s going to make me happy,” I grumbled.

“I could make you happy,” he whispered.

“Kai, you don’t even know where you stand as a person. You’re not happy. How could you possibly make me happy when you’re not even happy?” I asked.

“I’m happy when you’re with me,” he admitted.

“But I’m leaving in three days,” I argued.

“Then stay and leave Alex,” he suggested so easily.

I shook my head. “I can’t just do that.”

“You can. You just need to trust that you can,” he said before kissing my shoulder again.

None of us bothered to say anything after that. I realized that while I trust Mordecai with my life, I don’t trust him with my heart. I’d been together with Alex for eight months, and I hadn’t felt even a shred of what I feel when I’m with Mordecai, and that scared the hell out of me.

I left him to his wits and headed up to my room. I needed to truly figure out what my purpose here was. I’d already dealt with the medical side of things, as well as his diet. I was just missing the physiotherapy sessions and the therapy. I decided to call Dr Dickson.

“Hey pumpkin!” he answered the phone.

“Hey dad! How’s everything?” I asked.

“Everything is fine princess, but with you it can’t possibly be because you’re calling me,” he sighed.

“Are you and mom free tonight?” I asked. I’d been caught out anyway.

“Do you want to come over for dinner?” he asked.

“Yeah! I need to talk to you guys about something,” I sighed.

“Alright! I’ll let your mother know,” he replied.

“Thanks dad! I love you!” I told him.

“I love you too pumpkin,” he replied before I hung up the phone.

I went and took a shower. I had somewhere to be, and I couldn’t escape this any longer. The weather was a bit warmer out, so I got dressed in blue jeans, a white t-shirt, a tangerine jersey, white wedge heels, and a matching accessories and scarf.

I let Geronimo know that I was leaving, and I took one of Kai’s cars with me- his Mercedes Benz A45 AMG to be exact. It was an easy car to understand, and it’s the one car he told me I could drive with my eyes closed, so I figured why not.

I headed out, driving straight to the hospital. I realized that I could’ve spoken to Dr Dickson there anyway. I arrived and parked the car before heading inside the hospital, looking for Alex. I knew that he hadn’t taken his break yet, and he would’ve to take it now.

“Beverly?” I heard from behind me. I turned to find Kimberly there.

“Hey Kim,” I said as I hugged her.

“Where have you been? You just disappeared and Dr Dickson won’t say where you went,” she queried.

“Uhm, where’s everyone else?” I asked.

“Upstairs. I was just heading that way,” she replied.

“I’ll come with you,” I suggested.

We headed up and I found myself missing this place a little, but a bigger part of me was actually happier about where I was. We reached our floor and my friends were walking towards the nurse’s station.

“Bev!” they said happily before coming to hug me.

“Where have you been honey?” Fernando asked.

“You mean not even you know?” I asked in shock. I thought Nellie or Jacob would surely tell him.

“Nellie is mum about it, and your brother told me that he was sworn to secrecy,” he pouted.

“Oh, well I’ve been staying with Mordecai,” I informed, blushing for some reason. Their eyes widened.

“You’re kidding!” Rachel whisper squealed.

“Not in the way you think! I’ve been recruited to be his personal live-in nurse,” I informed.

“Screw that! As long as you’re close enough for him to woo you, then I’m happy,” Nikki giggled.

“What about Alex? Is that why he’s been so pissy this week?” Kimberly asked.

I told them the whole story, and they listened like the fascinated audience that they are. I even told them about the conversation I’d had with Mordecai just an hour before. When I was done, they weren’t saying anything, and I was freaking out a little.

“Please say that you’re here to break up with Alex,” Nikki broke the silence.

“I’m here to break up with Alex,” I said.

“Really?” they all asked. I nodded.

“And you’re going to be with Mordecai?” Rachel asked excitedly.

“No. I’m breaking up with Alex because that relationship isn’t going anywhere. I’m not about to jump into a relationship with Mordecai. If anything, I want to take things extremely slow with Mordecai,” I replied.

“You’re not going to tell him that you’ve broke up with Alex, are you?” Fernando smirked.

“You know me too well,” I blushed.

“Well, we’re right behind any decision you make,” Kimberly smiled.

“Are you going to move in with Mordecai for the rest of the time there?” Nikki asked.

“I might,” I nodded.

Fernando hugged me. “Well good on you girl! Like we keep saying, no-one deserves happiness the way that you do.”

“Thanks guys! Is Alex available?” I asked.

“He’s still in the operation room. He’s due out in an hour’s time,” Kimberly informed.

“I guess I’ll wait. Is there anything I can help with here?” I asked.

I stayed helping around for the hour, until they told me that Alex was done. I knew that I’d find him in his office, and I was right. When I got there, his door was open and he was pacing around. He looked like he hadn’t rested in days.

“Alex,” I called him instead of knocking. He stopped and turned to me.

“Bev,” he said in relief before coming over to hug me.

“Uhm hi,” I said awkwardly, shutting the door behind me.

“I thought you’d shut me out forever,” he sighed.

“I actually need to talk to you,” I told him.

“I went to your apartment and you weren’t there. Have you been staying with the Dicksons? Dr Dickson wouldn’t say,” he asked.

“No! I’ve been staying with Mordecai,” I replied. Fury blazed in his eyes.

“Even after I told you how I felt about that?” he asked.

“I told you that it’s my life,” I pointed out.

“And I’m your boyfriend,” he countered.

“About that – look Al-”

“You’re breaking up with me for that piece of shit?” he barked.

“I’m breaking up with you period. I’m not leaving you for Mordecai,” I defended.

“And yet the two of you are going to magically end up together,” he growled.

I shook my head. “I didn’t say that.”

“You don’t have to! It’s written all over your face. I didn’t think you would do something like this to me,” he said, shaking his head incredulously.

“I just can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me Alex,” I told him honestly. He froze.

“He told you about that?” he asked.

“You were on loudspeaker,” I informed.

“I didn’t mean it Bev,” he pleaded.

“You threatened to kill us both Alex. We really hadn’t done anything before that phone call,” I replied.

His eyes flashed dangerously. “So you did something after the phone call?”

“You kinda challenged him to kiss me,” I informed.

“And you kissed him back?” he asked.

“I did,” I confessed. He was silent for a while, until he grabbed the frame on his desk and threw it against the wall. When it landed, I realized that it was a picture of me.

“You’re throwing away eight months for that asshole?” he asked, getting louder by the moment.

“Alex, lower your voice please,” I said lowly.

“DON’T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” he shouted. The door opened, revealing Dr Dickson.

“What the hell is going on here? I can hear you from down the hallway,” he said. I turned to face him.

“Beverly?” he asked in confusion.

“Hey dad,” I sighed.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“She came to break up with me. She’s leaving me for that asshole,” Alex informed him.

“Is this true?” Dr Dickson asked.

“I’m breaking up with him because I don’t want to be with him. Mordecai has got nothing to do with this,” I replied.

“Look, I’m not going to interfere, but keep it down. You’re in a hospital,” my dad said before walking out.

“So, this is it?” Alex asked.

I nodded. “This is it.”

“Are you living with him now?” he asked.

“For the duration of his treatment, yes,” I replied.

“Are you really doing this Beverly? I’m sorry,” he sighed.

“I know you are, and I really do forgive you. I just can’t be with you,” I told him honestly.

“I won’t stop fighting for you,” he said.

“Please don’t fight this,” I pleaded.

“I can’t just let you go. You can’t expect me to. I’m in love with you,” he said passionately.

“What?” I whispered.

“I love you Beverly,” he told me. It was the first time he was telling me this.

I shook my head. “No you don’t.”

He sighed as he wrapped his arms around my waist. “I do Bev.”

I bit my lip. “Since when?”

“Since our fifth date,” he smiled, moving my hair away from my teary eyes.

I remember that date very well. He was going to visit his friends in Denver, and I went with him. We ended up having a picnic at a very beautiful lake, and that was the day he also officially asked me to be his girlfriend.

“Please don’t leave me Bev. I’m so sorry. I’ll make it up to you,” he pleaded, wiping away an escaped tear.

“You have to be ok with this Alex,” I whispered.

“I don’t like it, but I guess I can tolerate it,” he sighed.

“No Alex. I mean you have to let go of me,” I elaborated.

He stepped away from me like I’d just burnt him. “Even after telling you that I love you?”

“Yes,” I said lowly before walking out.

I couldn’t deal with his admission. The thing is that our fifth date was six months ago. If he really loved me, he would’ve told me then, not when I was telling him that I’m leaving him. It was his desperate attempt to make me stay, and I couldn’t fall for it.

I also couldn’t forget the fact that I just don’t feel the same way about him as I do about Mordecai.

It may be too early to go anywhere with Mordecai, but even three days with him is worth more than the eight month relationship I’ve been trapped in. I didn’t want to hurt Alex, but I’d only be hurting myself if I stayed with him.

“Pumpkin, are you ok?” my dad asked when he saw me in the lobby.

“I will be,” I smiled.

He was puzzled. “You just broke up with Alex but you’re smiling?”

“I’ll see you tonight,” I laughed, hugging him. I kissed his cheek and left him stunned.

“Isn’t this one of Kai’s cars?” someone asked me when I got to the car. I turned to find a really attractive guy with blue eyes.

“Uh, it’s not,” I lied.

“I know my best friend’s cars. Question is, who are you?” he asked.

“Best friend?” I asked.

“Charlie Maxwell, and you are?” he introduced.

“Beverly Rhymes,” I replied.

“Never heard of you before,” he admitted.

“When last did you see your best friend?” I asked.

“A month ago. I just flew back from London with my fiancée. I was going to see him from here. I just picked up some medication for my fiancée,” he replied.

“Oh, well I’m heading back there. I guess you know where it is. See you there,” I told him before getting into the car. He was staring at me suspiciously even when I left.

I arrived at the house and Nellie’s car was in the driveway. I went into the house and she was having a conversation with her mom in the lounge. I evaded them and headed to Mordecai’s secret room, to find him still typing.

He frowned when he noticed my change in outfit. “Where’d you go?”

“Out! I bumped into your best friend,” I informed.

“Who? Geronimo?” he asked.

I facepalmed myself. “That’s stupid! Why would I tell you I bumped into Geronimo?”

“Charlie? He’s back?” he asked.

“Oh, so he is your best friend,” I said in relief.

“Yeah, why?” he chuckled.

I blushed. “I thought he was probably some creep.”

“Nah! He’s my best friend. He had to go to London for some business a month ago. I wasn’t expecting him back for a while,” he informed.

“Well he’s on his way here. I think he took his fiancée’s medication to her first,” I replied.

He did a double take. “Fiancée?”

I nodded. “His words.”

“He was fucking serious!” he said, looking like he was making a realization.

“About?” I asked.

“He mentioned that he’d met a girl, but he was so drunk off his arse, I didn’t think he was serious when he said he wants to marry her,” he explained.

“Well, he’s engaged, so when he gets here, be nice,” I warned.

“I promise,” he chuckled.

“Good! I have dinner with my parents, so you should probably coax Ger and Charlie into keeping you company. Nellie’s moving out,” I informed him.

His eyes widened. “Nellie’s moving out?”

“Yep! She says she can’t deal with the negativity in this house, so she got her own place. Ger told me that you don’t talk to them, so I guess it got to her,” I replied.

“It’s not that I don’t want to talk to them. I’m mad at them as well,” he sighed.

“How come?” I asked.

“When you left on Saturday, Nellie had the nerve to blame me for it. She didn’t want to take responsibility for her own faults in the matter, and mom wasn’t saying anything either, so I blew up on them and told them to leave me alone,” he told me.

I scowled. “This is all because of me?”

“Not necessarily. It isn’t your fault, and you shouldn’t start thinking that it is. Nellie and my mom made their choice. I’d already told them to tell you but they wouldn’t,” he said.

“Thanks,” I smiled.

“You’re welcome! I guess I should leave this place if Charlie’s coming over,” he suggested.

“Up you go,” I teased.

“Oh haha,” he said as he rolled his eyes. I helped him get up and he hissed in pain when I accidentally touched his ribs.

“Sorry,” I squeaked.

“It’s ok,” he chuckled. We were standing really close and I bit my lip when I looked into his eyes.

“Don’t do that,” he said lowly.

“Kiss me,” I said before I could stop the words.

He didn’t need to be told twice as he leaned down and captured my lips in yet another searing kiss. This time I was a fully willing and aware participant. He wrapped his arms around my waist, bringing me closer while my hands got lost in his curls.

I’m in trouble of getting addicted to this man.