Chapter 17

A nurse who entered to check on her vitals said they’d given her powerful drugs to sedate her.“Sleep is one of the best things to help heal a body.”

Soon,Jeff joined us.“My mom’s good with the plan,so we should discuss getting what we need from your house.”

“You guys should take off,Aaron,”Grandpa said.“She’ll most likely sleep until tomorrow.No reason for all of us to stay here.”

Jeff looked at me,waiting for me to decide.I agreed that sitting there just made me more depressed.“What about Pamela?”

“I was thinking of taking her with me to pick up some clothes and necessities from my house and coming back to the hotel to swim,”Grandma explained.“We’ve decided to stay at the hotel for the next week or so while your mom’s in the hospital.”

“I get to stay with you guys,right?”Pamela asked,looking up from the book she’d been reading.

“That’s right,sweetheart!Do you want to go with me to pick up some things we need?”

“Yes!”Pamela jumped up,clearly eager to get out of the room.I didn’t blame her.It was hard being here,just sitting and waiting.

“Okay,then,how about we get going?”Grandma asked.

“What about my swimsuit?It’s at our house.”

I looked at Jeff and remembered how he’d snuck in and retrieved my things.“Jeff and I can grab whatever you want,Pamela.Why don’t you text me a list?”

She stared at me a moment,thinking it over,then got busy on her phone.

I waited for my grandparents to mention I shouldn’t go into the house,but no warning came.Maybe they weren’t thinking clearly about it being a crime scene.I certainly wasn’t going to remind them.

“Great idea,Aaron,”Grandpa said.“Why don’t I stick around for a while and you all go run your errands?Like the doctor said,she’ll most likely sleep until tomorrow.If anything happens,I’ll give everyone a call.Aaron,there’s no reason for you to come back today.There’s nothing you can do here.”

I nodded,then told Pamela to text me when they got back to town and I’d run things over to the hotel.I took a last look at my mom before I left.

Jeff and I didn’t say anything as we exited the hospital.In fact,we didn’t say anything the entire ride to my neighborhood.After I received Pamela’s text of items,I glanced at Jeff several times,but he seemed lost in thought.He had a nice profile,long eyelashes,a strong,straight nose,full lips,and a surprisingly sturdy jawline.He wore a day or two’s worth of beard,which I found intriguing.I vaguely remembered feeling some light stubble on my neck last night when he’d pulled me close.

“Crap,Aaron!Do I have something on my face?”

Startled,I jumped in my seat before he started laughing.

“Sorry,dude.I wasn’t trying to scare you.”

“That’s okay.I…I guess I was just zoning.”Damn!What the hell is wrong with me?All of a sudden,I was noticing Jeff in a whole new light.But if I really analyzed things,I’d have to admit I’d always felt a pull toward him.Was it stronger because I found out he was in love with someone and I was jealous?And did he really say he lovedmethis morning?

“Dude,you’re doing it again!You’re giving me a complex.”

I blinked and turned toward the window.“Yeah,like I was looking at your ugly mug.”I laughed also,hoping I could play it off.

“Who you calling ugly,ugly?”he shot back.

It was good to laugh with him.No matter my confusion about my life right then,Jeff remained my best friend and I hoped he always would be.

A few minutes later,we pulled into the driveway and I gazed at the yellow police tape tacked across my door.Like Jeff had said,an old piece of wood now covered the living room window.It seemed almost strange to look at the medium-sized red brick ranch,knowing what had happened last night.Nothing else appeared different.Whoever had cleaned up the mess—the crime scene—had done an incredible job.Other than the crushed,dried grass where the television had landed,I found no telltale signs something horrific had happened here.

This was the only home I’d ever known,and I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to come back again.Images of my father kicking my mom flashed through my mind and I froze,the familiar panic bubbling up in my chest as I fought against the fear.This wasn’t the time to give in.I tried focusing on my feet,my hands,anything but the house,but it wasn’t working.My chest tightened and my lungs became painful as I held my breath,unable to move.

“Hey,why don’t I just go in and get everything for you,”Jeff offered as he squeezed my arm.

And just like that,my breath came out in a hard whoosh,bringing sweet relief to my lungs.I shook my head.I needed to face this and go in.If I couldn’t handle this,then my father had won.Straightening my shoulders,I opened door of the cab and climbed out.Funny,but I could almost feel Jeff’s admiration as he watched me.

We made our way around the side of the house,jumped the fence—since the gate was always stuck—and walked to my bedroom window.

Having done this more times than I could count,I easily slipped off the screen and opened the window before hoisting myself up,diving through and rolling onto my bed.Jeff followed,and we sat for a minute in silence as a fresh wave of tears begin to fall from my eyes.Memories of last night bombarded me,ensnaring me in a swirling vortex of fear and anger.Isn’t a home supposed to be a safe place?

“Shit!”I slammed my fist against the wall.

“It’s okay—”

I waved my arm,cutting him off.“No,it’s not!This is notfucking okay,”I spat.“My father is an ass and now,because I was too much of a coward to stand up to him,he almost killed my mom!”I jumped off the bed and paced my room.“I should have stood up to him years ago.I should have killedhim last night!This is myfault,Jeff!”Tears poured down my cheeks as I slumped onto my knees,sitting back on my heels.“I did this!”

He moved lightning fast and enveloped me in his arms.My chest heaved with each new sob that broke through and I felt like I was drowning.Jeff stroked my hair and he held me tight as he murmured.I couldn’t make out what he said,but it didn’t matter.His touch,his tone,and his confidence grounded me.