Chapter 12

After a tense hour,the surgeon finally came through those double doors,smiling.My grandma started weeping with relief before he even spoke.

I listened,I really did,but I made out only about every other word.Something about“doing well,”“sleeping,”and“come back tomorrow.”We couldn’t see her yet,but my grandparents were smiling,so I knew it was going to be okay.

Grandma and Grandpa decided to stay at the nearby Hampton Inn for the night instead of making the forty-five minute drive back home.Pamela and I would stay with them,but I wasn’t looking forward to all four of us in a cramped hotel room.

Jeff grabbed my arm,pulling me aside.“Stay at my house,”he whispered.

I looked up at him.That was the best idea I’d heard all day.I’d stayed at his house all the time,so much so that I even had my own toothbrush there.

I smiled,albeit weakly,and nodded.

“Great.I’ll call my mom.She told me to invite you and Pamela.Oh,crap!I meant to invite your sister.”

I looked at the bear hug my grandma had on my sister and knew there was no way they were letting go of her tonight.“Nah,she’ll want to stay with them,anyway.”

I told my grandparents the plan and they seemed fine with it.We all agreed to be back here in the morning.After a round of hugs from everyone,I followed Jeff through the halls and out the large glass automatic doors.

I was so tired,I thought I would collapse,and I know I drifted in and out of sleep through the drive to Jeff’s house.

I vaguely remember his mother,Judy,meeting us at the door and pulling me into a hug.I think she might have even gently shoved me up the stairs,but I could have been hallucinating by that point.I saw everything going on,but it seemed like it was all happening far away.My body was moving,yet I felt like I was walking through quicksand.By then,I had somehow disconnected myself from the night.I had to.I had spent my evening trying to be strong for my sister.Strong for my mother.Strong for my grandparents.But I wasn’t strong.I was weak.

I soon found myself sitting on the edge of Jeff’s bed,where I’d slept so many times.He stood in front of me and raised my arms,then pulled my shirt over my head.Oh,yeah.I was still wearing my uniform,I realized.I tried to unbuckle my belt,but my fingers wouldn’t work.

Jeff brushed away my hands.“Aaron,let me.”

I looked up at him.His voice was soft.So kind.Had I ever noticed that before?He tugged the pants off me,leaving me in my boxer briefs.My shoes were already off.I had no memory of that and wondered if maybe I was in shock,too.

Jeff disappeared.I felt panicky and called his name.

He ran in with an extra blanket.“I’m here.I’m here.You feel a little cold,so I got you another blanket.It’s the soft one you like to use when you’re here.”

A smile tugged at my lips.He was right,I did like that blanket.I decided I had better use the bathroom before I went to bed and headed across the hall.By the time I got back to the room,Jeff had pulled back the blankets on his queen-sized mattress.

“Come on,time for bed.”

“Thanks…I…thanks.”I yearned to tell him what it meant to me that he was here to help me through this,but I couldn’t articulate my thoughts.

As soon as I got into bed,he actually tucked me in.I was too tired to give him a hard time about that.My best friend had turned into a mother hen.

He flicked off the lights,covering the room in darkness.The mattress sank a little when he climbed in and I started to drift off.

Suddenly,a crash jolted me awake.I sat up straight,screaming.

“Hey,Aaron…it was the damn cat.I’m so sorry.He knocked a book off my dresser.It’s okay.Hey,don’t cry.”He wiped tears from my cheek.I hadn’t even been aware I was crying.

But then those tears turned to gut-wrenching,heaving sobs.My whole body shook as I cried out.I was lost.I was alone.I was in a swirling vortex of pain and blood and broken bones and all I could see was my dad kicking my mom over and over.“Stop!Stop!”I cried.

Unexpectedly,Jeff pulled me close,his arms wrapped tightly around me.“I’m here.You go ahead and cry if you want.I’m here.”

I clung to those whispers.I clung to him.I clung to the chance that my world was not completely destroyed.

He pulled me down to the mattress and settled me on my side,his arm under my head on the pillow.Then he held me tightly,spooning me,as his other hand stroked my hair.His bare torso pressed against my back and his soft,crinkly chest hair rubbed against my skin.It was…nice.The last thing I remembered was his warm breath on the back of my neck as he whispered,“I’m here,baby.It’s okay.I’m here for you.Go to sleep.”

Baby?