Chapter 27 Twenty Seven
DYLAN XAVIER
Unlike the last time I came here, the room was dimly lit or maybe it was just my senses deceiving me, having stayed in the dark for too long.
I stared fixedly at mother as she kept up with her accusations, her eyes held something that was far from love or empathy… There was no compassion, only hatred. How could a mother hate her own son this much? I let my mind wander into the past. How much of a failure I was and how I could never overcome the shadows of my long dead father.
I remembered being locked up in the dark for weeks then I became delusional and when I sought for therapy, was told it was a scam_ or how I tried so hard to please my father_ I could never.
The room became strangely tight and lacked air, I began to feel the darkness the room omitted especially when father was here. Even in death, his presence brought fear and cowardice and I began to question why I ran away; although I wanted my freedom, I was scared of him… too scared that I ran without turning back.
The fear in me made me a coward that when the news of his death reached me, I was afraid that he would rise from the dead just to come after me. I would never be free from him.
“I thought that after you left, you would be different from your father, but you're just like him, arrogant and merciless!” Mother continued.
Like my father?
My mind completely blacked out and before I could stop myself, mother's throat was at the mercy of my hands. I had pinned her to the wall and she was trying to catch her breath. Her face turned pale white, she was short on breath. “Say that again and I would break every fucking bone in your body!” I growled, but this woman didn't care.
She never did.
“That's who you are, it's like a scar on your face, Dylan, an imprint in your heart running like blood in your veins… you… you're a monster!” She coughed.
The anger fueling inside of me should have made me kill the goddamned woman that called herself my mother, but I let my hands drop to my sides. She fell to the ground massaging her neck.
“Whether I'm like father or not, at least the people I care about are intact and not fucked up like any of you!” I said and turned to leave. Opening the door, mother laughed.
“Is that what you think? You'll end up killing that woman”
I shut the door calmly and left… The door didn't hurt me and if I wanted to hurt someone, it would be that goddamned woman.
The night air was warm.
Too warm.
“I need the strongest bottle of rum you have. No ice,” I said, not looking at the bar attendant. Taking a cigarette I lit it and put it in between my lips.
“Here you go, sir.” It was a lady but I didn't care. “What's this?”
“Batty rum, it's one of our best at the moment.” I let out a gruff and gulped the content.
You're a monster!
I let out a laugh, this wasn't the first time I've heard that from people's lips; they were the last words of some of my victims, Anastasia did and even Annie, but hearing it from mother as she compared me with her late husband was more heartbreaking.
I ordered for another and the lady stared at me like I was a lunatic.
I was.
I am.
“Please sir…”
“Just fucking give it to me,” I growled softly and she nodded probably because she had noticed the gun in my suit jacket.
I checked the time, it was already past nine. Strange that I spent all day listening to a grumpy old lady call me a failure.
Annie would be worried.
I stood to leave but my vision and judgments weren't clear but I could head home, at least. It wasn't like me not to hold my liquor.
Fuck this.
ANNIE
I watched as Amy practiced, she seemed more determined than I. “You should rest, Amy,” I called and she shook her head. “I want daddy to see me train!” I chuckled at the thought of him doing that. I felt so comfortable with him unlike before and I didn't want to stop.
Just as I thought of him, I heard the door slam shut. He was back but that was unlike him. He preferred to kill people than to slam the door except he was that pissed to think about the door. “Daddy's back, train harder!” I urged Amy and she smiled.
Good girl.
Dylan stormed into the room, he reeked of alcohol and smoke. “Where have you been, Dylan, you've been drinking!”
He scoffed rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Daddy!” Amy called and ran to him. “I've been practicing all afternoon”
“Then do it well,” he grumbled.
I became alarmed, standing from the stool, I hid Amy behind me. This wasn't Dylan and he could hold his alcohol last I checked.
“What's wrong with you? Amy just wanted a compliment”
“Compliment? I never had that for more than thirty years now.” I glanced at Amy, she sobbed, biting her lips. Her eyes wanted to water, but she shut it… she couldn't cry in front of him.
That was how much she loved him.
“Did anything happen at your mother's place?” I demanded, if he was going to act like a jerk, at least not in front of his daughter.
“Does that matter?” I frowned but said nothing. “It's not like you can help anyways”
“You're being unreasonable, Dylan and a loser if you're going to do this while Amy's watching!” I was angry . I heard Amy whimper, but she didn't dare move. She was still a ten year old no matter what.
“Think of Amy, do you even love her?” Dylan cocked his head to the side as if staring at his daughter. “I do, yes, I do… and you don't know anything! How I felt when Anastasia died, how my whole life was so fucked up that I wondered why I was still living!”
“For her, Xavier and have you ever asked what she wanted, if she wanted this… you don't care,” I bursted out, tears threatening to escape my eyes, but I needed to be strong, to finally stand up to him.
Amy was a child.
“Amelia would have a better childhood if only Anastasia were here!” He growled and the little girl started crying.
“Do you even care, Dylan? Did you think I wanted to be here or even alive? But Amy's here and I want to keep living for her, at least if not for anybody.” My legs were weak, yet I had to keep going. The young girl couldn't hold it anymore and I didn't want to be weak.
“You? Annie you are weak!”
“But I want the fucking best for your daughter… have you ever asked her, if she wanted all your so called plans… you're acting like your father!” I screamed and he threw a vase on the floor. The beautifully designed vase shattered, some pieces piercing my feet.
I didn't care.
“I'm better than that man,” he muttered. “Really, by doing this? Anastasia wouldn't want this… you're making the same mistake all over again!”
Dylan bit his lips, they were bleeding. “Don't fucking say that again”
“What? Stroke a chord? You know it's the truth… Anastasia wanted the best for your daughter, but you didn't and you keep being a monster to both your fucking self and every goddamned person around you!”
I didn't see it coming, I could never, and predicting that such a thing could occur wasn't close to my mind. Dylan pulled out his gun and shot.
A kill shot.
My world began to spin; the memories, the joy, pain and even the feeling of emptiness flashed through my eyes and I knew I had believed too much. I believed he wasn't going to kill me, but no! He was the death of me.
“Fuck you,” I muttered and fell to the ground. The last thing I saw was Amy screaming and Dylan's gun dropping from his hand to the floor.
DYLAN XAVIER
“Daddy call the doctor, now!” Amy screamed shaking Annie. I stared at them not moving.
You'll end up killing that woman…
My mother's words rang in my ears. I was a monster.
I stared at my hands, I always ended up killing the people I loved, Anastasia, now Annie.
“Daddy, fucking call the doctor now!” I wanted to move but couldn't. My milkweed was dying and I couldn't do anything about it.
Suddenly, Amy pushed me aside, grabbing the phone, she dialled the doctor's number.
My world was spinning and for the first time in years, for the first time since Anastasia, I broke down. The doctors came and rushed Annie to the hospital, Amy's once smiling face was masked with something I couldn't decipher. She walked out on me.
Everyone knew this day would come_ I knew but was blinded by my own foolishness. One way or the other, Annie was going to die by my own hands.
I sighed.
A hopeless sigh.