Chapter 114 He won't love you again.
CHAPTER 114
He won’t love you again.
SCARLETT – POINT OF VIEW
My eyes burn, and my chest aches painfully.
I pull myself together because Roman will be down any moment.
“Having the La Cosa Nostra is a stretch.” I laugh dryly and bring out Roman’s food.
I dish it carefully and get started on his fruits. He works too hard and doesn’t take care of himself enough.
“You do have the La Cosa Nostra behind you, Scarlett.” She says vehemently, the edges of her words sharpened by grief and anger.
“Emiliano killed my father because he wants power. Fuck him. I’m going to make him regret everything he has ever done. I will ruin him, shatter him to the ground, and he cannot touch me. I’m the supposed bratty and docile Queen of the La Cosa Nostra. He won’t expect me. I’ll crash on him like a storm, and he won’t survive it.” She is passionate and determined.
I dice the apples and ask, “Does that mean you’ll tell Luca everything?”
She is silent for a moment.
I pull out a chilled bottle of wine and pour it into two glasses.
“I can’t tell Luca.” She sounds small now, “There are a lot of things he doesn’t know yet, and I am sure he is going to figure it out, unwrap me like a gift and unravel every thread. I’ll hold out for as long as I can.”
“And, when you tell him, will you throw me under the bus?” I ask dryly, already knowing the answer. She’s in love. Nothing else matters except him.
“These secrets … are stifling, Scarlett, so yes, I’ll tell him everything. He is bound to me as I am bound to you. The secrets will be ours. He won’t tell your Roman.” She assures me.
I drag my fingers through my hair, frustrated, “What if I want to tell him? What if I want to unburden myself and tell Roman everything?” My voice cracks, and my heart aches, “Secrets are … a burden, and I am tired of living like this. It has been over a year, and I am nowhere near where I want to be. I am almost married to a billionaire, millions in my account, half in love when I shouldn’t be. I am tired.”
“I know, I know,” she exhales deeply, “But, understand this, Scarlett, you won’t be able to go back. It’s a one-way route. No turning back. He won’t forgive you. He might, but he won’t love you as he does now …”
“You don’t know that.” A sob tears out of me, and I cover my mouth to stifle my cry.
I rush outside, past the security team, and walk to the ledge.
“You don’t know that, Addie. Maybe he will love me more. Maybe he’ll see my pain, and my grief, and understand …” I trail off because I sound so foolish.
Roman will not love me anymore. I’ll be a stranger to him - a killer. I'll be who I was made to be, who the fire forged.
“The ball is in your court. Tell him. Don’t tell him. It’s fine. We’re together till the end. Just watch your back. Emiliano has people looking for the flash drive, and he won’t stop until he has all the incriminating evidence.” She warns, tone thick, “He has people everywhere, so make sure to take your bodyguards, be vigilant, and hope for the best.”
I nod and wipe my tears away.
“What was in that flash drive we got from the ship?” I ask.
“Intel, smuggling route, and an endless list of trafficked children. We are putting a stop to it.” She answers coolly.
“Who’s ‘we’?” I probe.
“Show me yours, and I’ll show you mine. Enough revealed. Get some rest, and we’ll talk later.”
I nod, “Goodnight, Adeline.”
Then, I pull myself together. I wipe away my tears and calm my racing heart.
I hear the door open, turn around and see Roman. He doesn’t come to me. He watches me from a distance, brows furrowed, worry in his face.
I exhale softly and walk to him. He takes my hand and leads me inside.
“I was on a call with Addie and needed fresh air,” I speak before he asks.
He smiles, “So you’ve settled your … issue. I’m glad.”
I nod and sigh, weighed down by everything happening lately. I should tell him now, tell him everything, confess and hope he absolves me of my sins, but I cannot, not when he’s looking at me as if I am everything. Knowing me more leads to loving me less. This is a fact, and I am used to it. I have accepted this. I will be a little selfish and keep him as mine for as long as I can. When he eventually finds out, I hope he understands, but if he doesn’t, that’s fine. I will take whatever penance he deals me.
“Let’s eat together, and tell me about your day.” He pulls me to his lap.
I flush, and we share a spoon.
It’s hard to hold back my need for him, but I will until he cracks and takes me as he should. He had a long day. He should release the tension on me. I’ll take every pounding with a smile. My cheeks burn at my dirty thoughts.
I wrap my arms around his neck and tell him all about my day. It’s nothing compared to his, but he listens. I spent my day doing nothing. I listened to Eve, read a book, made dinner and fell asleep waiting for him. I should be doing something else. I should fill up my day with events and excitement. I need to live.
“I’ll visit a Pilates Studio tomorrow,” I tell him, excited.
“Come to the one close to my office. We can grab coffee after all.” He suggests, and I giggle, excited, “Alright.”
“Now, let’s eat this and go upstairs. I might have some plans on how to spend the night.” He wiggles his eyebrows, and I laugh. “Tell me everything.”