"This might hurt a little sweetheart, but I understand you want them out." She says in a soft voice. The pain is a pulling pain but it makes me more nauseous then it hurting. Ryder squeezes my hand again, sensing what I feel and he even palms over the space between my shorts and bandage calming the feeling I have and because if it I don't notice when she changes the other one into a single tube. She explains that it's just a nutrient and that it will work faster to get my weight up, considering it went down again when I started feeling the pain of the blood poisoning. Now I only have the one tube in my skin, the one in my nose following all the others away from my body. "Lottie, while I'm here, do you need to use the bathroom?" She asks softly her hand massaging my arm. I shake my head still not looking towards her, my eyes closed as I bathe in the relaxing feeling of Ryder's hand on my stomach. Riley sighs and excuses herself from the room. "It's past midnight. You've been asleep for nearly eleven hours, Lottie. You should use the bathroom." Ryder tells me. I'm already half asleep so I don't even bother to reply, just letting out a sigh of content. A faint smile crosses my face when I sense that Ryder is shaking his head in frustration behind me. His hand continues to rest on my stomach, as I feel the bed shift next to me. He's lied his head back down on the bed letting out his own sigh of content. "I can carry you to the bathroom, Lottie. You are always my number one priority." Turning my head I finally look at Ryder. I was right his head is resting on the bed like he was when I woke up but this time he's facing away from me. He's tired, yet he's still forcing himself to stay awake for me. Slipping my hand out of his, I drop my arm over his shoulder sliding my hand up into his hair. He turns in my hold to look back at me his hand moving over as well to lock around my hip and pull me in further to him, watching me closely as he lift his head up to rest on my opposite hip. His dark strands aren't as soft as the fur of his wolf but I don't think anything could be as soft as that. His touch still frightens me, for what it could mean to him and what it means to me. I know for sure that it comforts me and now I need it. Taking a deep a breath I begin to explain that I don't remember much and that I do so for a reason that I'm not ready to explain one small part of my life I am not ready to admit to him yet. "I was a month old when I was abandoned in Hyde Park." Is the first thing that spill from my lips. Ryder's hand continues to swirl circles over the skin of my hip as I watch him carefully to judge what is running through his mind. His face is blank though but his eyes are full of emotion shifting to a light black before he comes back to the normal hazel colour. There's so many feeling bottled in the small space I can't begin to decode any meaning behind them. "I can't remember what happened to it but something I always felt was home for me was this white fur blanket, with 'Charlotte' stitched in a pink velvet material, I had it up until I was two and a half." My free hand plays with the blanket over my legs. The fur and velvet where real of that blanket and not cheap, neither was the stroller nor clothes that I was wearing, which is what confused all the women at Carlett. According to them a family that had that type of money to spend and to spend it on a child didn't have a plausible reason to leave me in a park in the middle of a night. The awkwardness of the situation is why I have no interest in finding out who my parents are. Most of the girls in Carlett were there because they were removed from their homes by the police for an arrangement of abuse inflicted on them, other than that the parents were too young or just couldn't afford to look after them. None of those seemed to add up for me. I want to know why I ended up in the position I was in but if knowing them was the only way I could find out, I would rather not. Ryder waits patiently as I let the thoughts maul over in my head. He seems to be much more in tune with what I feel in dissecting my feelings. He gives me a small smile and a squeeze encouraging me to continue. "There was a couple that looked after me for that time so I'm guessing that they still have it. I don't remember them much but the woman worked at Carlett and had just had her own child so it worked out that she could care for me that way." Pausing I take another deep breath and Ryder squeezes again. "But then she left and I guess they were unable to take me with them and it's then that I was going in and out of foster homes until I was fourteen and I couldn't handle it any more so I climbed out the window in the middle of the night to get away from it." Something seems to click behind Ryder's eyes. "So that's why you were living on the streets and I'm guessing what forced you there is what you're not ready to tell me and why you were scared of me looking at your stomach. Which by the way you seem very relaxed about now." He smiles at me changing the subject slightly. My free hand that was wrapped in the blanket moves to run over his arm. He shifts his eyes up to watch me and that's when I see that he's holding something back now. "Why are you so warm?" I ask joining my eyes with him as I watch my hand. Now that the questions are directed at him, I find it easier to read his expressions. His lip comes up a little at the corner before he drops his mouth open slightly and his tongue runs along the tips of the top row of his teeth. I've seen him does this a couple of times since we've been here and he only does when he's deep in thought and he doesn't always reply straight away. Gladly this time he doesn't wait and he answers right away for me. "It's one of the pros of being a werewolf." It's weird to hear him address himself like that but the knowledge is beginning to grow on me. "So there are cons?" I continue suddenly fascinated with the subject. He sighs and gives me a breathy laugh. "Yes there are pros and cons to everything. Gladly with this there are more pros, like the tolerance to stay awake at this time of the morning."