"It hurts." My voice was groggy. I was about to pass out and nothing could stop it. "Lottie, stay awake for me." Riley had dropped the light and was now gently tapping my cheek to get me to stay awake but Ryder slapped her hand away. She shakes her head and looks back up to Ryder. "We need to get her to the hospital wing now. I need to do tests to check there is no serious problem." "It's going to be ok Lottie." Ryder said as he gently lifted me up from the ground. It was only us here now and Reynolds body was gone. The second my head fell against Ryder's chest and I heard the steady beat of his heart I allowed myself to finally fall asleep. My knees were drawn up to my chest and my head buried into them as I just cried. The careers had let me have my own room for the night so I could have some privacy. My hands hadn't stopped shaking from the moment Henry had locked the door to his room. I couldn't talk. I had sat at the police station with Heidi by my side all day. The officer that had gotten me out of the room kept trying to speak to me and tell her what happened but every time I opened my mouth I couldn't manage to get any words out. Finally arriving back at the home was overwhelming. As soon as I had stepped through the front doors all the excited and high pitched voices of the girls had stopped and all their eyes had moved back over to look at me. They had started to whisper and Heidi had to lower her hand to my back and push me from the room. It hurt. All I wanted was someone to love me and now whenever I thought about what he had said to me my dreams had been destroyed. A part of me knew that wasn't how a father gave his daughter love but in that moment I didn't really care. I just wanted a father. A knock at the door sounded through the room and I buried my head further into my knees. "Go away." The door opened anyway and I felt the weight of the bed sink beside me. If it were anybody else they would have just left me alone but when I feel a comforting pair of arms wrap around my shoulders I know that it's Heidi. I welcome the warmth that her touch provides me. "It's going to be ok." She whispers to me as she strokes through my hair. It was dirty and knotted but she was still giving me comfort. "He's going to go away for a long time. It wasn't only you he did this to and he had kidnapped Nicola. She didn't want to be there anymore than you did." I stayed quiet. Her words weren't going to help me. I was never going to find a family. "I know what you're thinking Lottie." She pulls back away from me and forces my face up to look into her eyes. She was already in tears. The streaks of water did nothing to disturb the immaculate make up that she had caked onto her face earlier that morning. Her tears had actually managed to make her look more real. She had been good to me. "Don't let what he did make you think you are not worth it." She ran a finger over my cheek and it was then that I realised I had started to cry myself. "You are one of the most amazing people here, staff included. You might not find a family but I do know that you will find one of the most amazing guys, or girls, doesn't matter, and they will care for you with all they have because they will love you for you. What happened to you today, in your past and the day that you came here, none of that will matter. They will be your family and with them you'll make it bigger with the love that you share with each other." Heidi's hands shook as she wrapped me back up in her arms. I don't know if I completely believed her words but they had warmed my heart. If she had believed that for me than I don't know why I couldn't but I there was just no way I could push that thought into my mind as a possibility. There was always a chance that it wouldn't happen and I didn't want to get my hopes up. "Will you please eat something?" She asked me after a while and I had felt my tears dry on my cheeks. I shook my head as I pulled back away from her and back in on myself. She sighed deeply but didn't push the subject. Lifting her hand up she ran it back through my hair and pushed the loose strands that had fallen forward back out of my face. "You're not going to want to believe this but I love you, Charlotte. You've been in the godforsaken place for so long it's hard not to." She pushes herself up from the bed when I look away from her. "Please don't do anything stupid." With that she leaves the room. The exaggerated tone of her voice had actually managed to bring a smile to my face. Once I was alone again it hit me all again what happened. Every time I woke up here I would be reminded of what had almost happened to me. Whenever the prospect of being adopted by a new family approached I would be questioning what they were going to do. I would never be able to grow to close to anyone again after what he had done to me. Getting of the bed I grabbed the backpack I had used for school and stuffed a few pairs of clothes and shoes in it. It was an impulsive decision but anything was better than being in here. The bedroom was on a second story and to get out of it I had to pull the sheet of the bed and tie it to something so I could get down without hurting myself. I gave one last look at the two dark doors that lead into Carlett home for girls and turned away from them forever. I never wanted to see them again. "I'm sorry Heidi," I whispered to myself, pulling the hooded jumper around me tighter as I had started feel the sharp cold fall of the snow. "I can't do it anymore." There was no life for me there. ***