Me feet connect with the heated tiles as Ryder gently lowers me to the ground now that we were stood in front of the shower. Bringing his hand up, he runs it along my cheek gently. "I really have to go." "I know." I whisper back, turning my face into the palm of his hand so I can kiss the tough skin there. "Heidi is coming back today and you're welcome to do anything with her inside the castle ok?" I nodded my head at him. I knew why he was so protective didn't mean I had to like it. "I love you." "I love you, too." When I had finally gotten out of the shower Ryder was gone. I wasn't used to having long showers but when I had stepped in and the warm water rained down on my body I couldn't find myself wanting to get out. It was a luxury that I savoured after what I had been through, and I spent my time, massaging my scalp and washing the skin that had only recently been worshipped by Ryder's lips. I froze when my hands had landed on my stomach. My head dropped forward and the water ran down my face as I looked at my palms pressed against the soft and flat skin of my stomach. In that moment I could see myself with a large tummy that was carrying a child that had been created by the love that Ryder and I had shared. Slowly my fingers stroked against the smooth skin. I didn't know if the liquid moving down my cheeks was tears or the water from the shower head. That was when I knew that I had to get out of the shower. Wrinkles covered my fingers as I pulled on a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt. It was still cool outside so I also grabbed the jumper that Ryder was wearing when we were down in the private courtyard last night. It was bathed in his scent and I breathed it in as I pulled the sleeves past my fingers. Walking into the sitting room I see Reynolds and Theo sat on the lounge watching the television on a low level. Reynolds is the first to look over at me, noting that I wasn't in the usual clothes that I wore to go to training of a morning. "Not training today?" he questions as he sits up properly. Theo's eyes flick towards me for a quick second before he concentrates back on the television. Shaking my head I sink down into the plush pillows of the lounge. "I don't feel up to it anymore." "Are you okay? You're not sick or anything?" He pushed himself up further and I could hear the worry that was running deeply through his voice. "Do you want me to call Ryder back?" I shook my head again, my fingers picking at the fringe of the jumper sleeves. Theo seemed to notice that I wasn't ok and he excused himself from the room. Even though I was friends with all of my guards, they all knew that I had a better bond with Reynolds. He was a brother. Once the door closed Reynolds started to speak again, his voice soft. "What wrong gorgeous? You were opening up and being happy, what's happened?" This morning I was fine and now it seemed like something had clicked inside of me. "Do you think I'd be a good mother?" I barely heard my own voice through the mumbled words but of course he heard them. His eyebrows shot up. "I think you'd make an excellent mother Lottie. It might not seem like it, but it's in your genes. You were born to not only be the mother of your own children but all wolves." Thinking over his words my hand moves to my stomach. "You're not going to tell me that I'm actually watching over two people are you?" Chuckling lightly I shake my head once again, flattening my hand over my stomach. "It's not the right time, with the rebels and everything but I want it now. I want to have his children." "Well you're still on the birth control aren't you? Just talk to him and say you want to stop taking it." "He told me about Lucas," I whisper, looking up through my lashes. His face drops and nods his head running his hand over his face. "Ry was only two when it happened. We were all little then and don't remember much but I do remember how tense my dad was, how my mum was a lot more protective of me. It rocked everybody but Ryder will be nervous and insanely protective of you either way when you're pregnant." A silence had settled between us after his words had relaxed me. "What about your mate?" "What about her?" he asks a teasing smile on his lips. "Why aren't you trying to find her? You don't seem bothered that you don't have her by your side. I want you to find her. I want you to be happy." This time it was my words that hit him. His face got a lost look on it as he nodded at my slowly. "For you I'll find her." A silence had fallen over us and Theo had entered the room again. I sat and watched the movie with them but I couldn't help the way that my mind had wandered. I couldn't stop thinking about being a mother and the prospect of having it happen soon.