Chapter 58 FOR THE FIRST TIME, IN A LONG TIME
MERRIELYNN.
The engine roared beneath me, a powerful growl that reverberated through my chest.
My hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, knuckles white as I focused on the track ahead.
The adrenaline pumping through me was both exhilarating and terrifying. I wasn’t sure how I’d ended up here, racing a car as Cormac sat beside me, barking occasional instructions.
“You’re doing fine,” he said, his voice steady but sharp, like a blade cutting through my rising nerves.
I was doing fine, surprisingly. Better than I’d expected. Despite my supposed inexperience, the car seemed to respond to me like it had been waiting for me to take control. The crowd blurred past us as I expertly maneuvered the car through tight turns and sharp bends.
“You’ve got it,” Cormac said, his voice carrying a hint of approval. “Keep going. Stay ahead.”
I stayed in the lead, and for a brief moment, I felt invincible. I’d been pulled into this race unexpectedly, and yet here I was, holding my own.
But then, Cormac pushed me.
“Faster,” he said, his tone more demanding now.
“I think I’m good at this speed,” I replied, my voice tight.
He gave me a sidelong glance, his sharp blue eyes catching mine. “You can handle it. Push it.”
I hesitated, but something about his confidence in me—or maybe his sheer stubbornness—made me press down harder on the gas. The car surged forward, and the world outside the windshield became a dizzying blur of motion.
At first, I thought I could handle it. My grip on the wheel tightened, and I focused on the track. But then, something strange happened.
The world around me started to shift.
Flashes of images—not from the track, but from somewhere else entirely—filled my mind.
A car. A girl.
The screech of tires.
The deafening crunch of metal.
I gasped, my chest tightening as the visions became clearer. They felt so vivid, so real, but I didn’t recognize them. I’d never experienced anything like this before.
“Merrielynn," Cormac's voice cut through the haze, but it felt distant, like he was speaking from the other end of a tunnel.
I couldn’t breathe. My hands trembled on the wheel, and the car swerved slightly as I struggled to stay in control.
The images kept coming, relentless and overwhelming. The girl’s face—it was blurry, but familiar in a way that sent chills down my spine.
“Merrielynn!" Cormac shouted this time, his voice sharp and commanding.
“I—I can’t,” I choked out, my vision blurring. “I can’t do this.”
Cormac reached over, his hand gripping the wheel as he forced the car off the main track. The crowd’s cheers faded behind us as we veered off course, leaving the race behind.
The car slowed to a stop in a bare clearing, surrounded by trees. My chest heaved as I fought for air, tears streaming down my face.
“Merrielynn,” Cormac said, his voice softer now. He unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to face me. “Breathe. You’re okay.”
I shook my head, clutching at the front of my shirt as if I could physically pull the panic out of my chest. “I’m not okay. I don’t—why am I seeing these things? What’s happening to me?”
He reached out, his hand hovering near my arm before he hesitated. “What are you feeling? Tell me exactly.”
I tried to speak, but the words caught in my throat. The images were still there, lingering like a bad dream I couldn’t wake up from.
“Merrielynn,” he said again, his tone steady and grounding. “Talk to me. What do you feel?”
I forced myself to focus on his voice, on the steadiness of it. “I feel… scared. Confused. My chest hurts. It feels like I’m drowning, and I can’t get out.”
Cormac nodded, his expression uncharacteristically soft. “Okay. Just keep talking. What else? What do you see?”
I hesitated, the vivid images flashing in my mind again. “A car. A crash. A girl. I don’t know why I’m seeing this. It’s like it’s real, but it’s not. It’s never happened before. It doesn’t make sense.”
His jaw tightened, and for a moment, something unreadable flickered across his face. “You’re safe,” he said firmly. “It’s not real, okay? You’re here with me. Focus on that.”
I tried to do as he said, grounding myself in the present. His voice, his presence—they were steady, like an anchor pulling me back from the storm.
Slowly, the panic began to fade. My breathing evened out, and the tightness in my chest lessened.
“Better?” Cormac asked, his eyes searching mine.
I nodded weakly, still shaken but no longer drowning in the wave of emotions.
He leaned back in his seat, exhaling a breath I hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Let’s get you back.”
The ride back to the cabin was silent. Cormac didn’t say much, and I didn’t have the energy to ask him the questions swirling in my mind.
Why had he been so insistent on knowing what I was feeling? Why had he asked so many specific questions about what I’d seen?
By the time we got back, I was too exhausted to think straight. My body felt heavy, and all I wanted was to sleep and forget the entire day.
Cormac helped me inside, his usual sharp demeanor replaced by a quietness that felt almost foreign. He didn’t say anything as I stumbled to my bed, collapsing onto the mattress with a sigh.
“Get some rest,” he said simply, his voice low.
I nodded, closing my eyes and willing the memories of the day to fade.
Sleep didn’t bring the peace I was hoping for.
The nightmare came again, worse and more vivid than ever.
The car. The crash. The girl’s face, clearer this time but still just out of reach.
I woke with a start, my body drenched in sweat and my heart racing. The room was dark, but I wasn’t alone.
“Cormac?” I whispered, my voice shaky.
He was sitting in a chair near the window, his silhouette outlined by the faint moonlight.
“You were screaming,” he said, his tone neutral, but his green eyes were fixed on me.
I wiped at my face, trying to steady my breathing. “I’m fine. You don’t have to—”
Before I could finish, he stood and walked over to the bed.
“What are you doing?” I asked, alarmed as he sat down on the edge.
“Relax,” he said, his tone more irritated than anything. “I’m not going to do anything. You’re still shaking, and you’re not going to get any sleep like this.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but he cut me off.
“Move over,” he ordered, laying down beside me as if he had every right to be there.
“Cormac—”
“Just shut up and go to sleep,” he grumbled. “You’re tense. You need company. Deal with it.”
I glared at him. He grabbed my arm and pulled me closer, resting my head against his chest.
“Comfortable now?” he asked sarcastically.
I sighed, deciding it wasn’t worth the fight. “Not really.”
He chuckled softly, the sound low and oddly soothing. “If you wake me up with your screaming again, I won’t get any sleep either. So do us both a favor and stay quiet.”
Despite his gruff tone, there was an underlying warmth to his words that made my chest ache.
I closed my eyes, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. For the first time in weeks, I felt safe.
And that night, for the first time since I started at Pinnthorpe, I didn’t have a single nightmare.