Chapter 122 GRIEF.
CHAOS.
Valtor sat across from me, his elbows on his knees with his hands clasped tightly together. “She was a mother to me too, you know,” he said quietly. “Your mom. She was always that motherly figure I had been missing in my life. She treated me like I was her own.”
I nodded, my throat tight. I knew that already. My mom had this way of making everyone feel important, loved, seen.
Valtor’s words stirred something inside me, and before I could stop myself, I started talking. “The day I got called back to the palace…” My voice came out hoarse. “I—I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t even know it was about her until I got there.”
Valtor stayed silent as he listened.
“When I went in and heard the news...” My jaw tightened, and I rubbed the back of my neck. “My father didn’t even let me process it. He didn’t let me grieve. He just... he just got straight to business, like she was nothing more than a checkmark on his agenda.”
I paused. I didn’t want to say the next part, but I had to.
“My father knows about Merrielynn,” I admitted, staring into Valtor’s eyes.
Valtor’s lips parted slightly, but he didn’t say anything. He just stared at me, waiting.
I exhaled shakily and continued. “He made me... He made me end it. With her. He threatened to kill her if I didn’t…” I trailed off, looking away, my eyes searching for something else to focus on while I pulled myself together.
Valtor leaned back slightly, rubbing a hand over his mouth. “So that’s why,” he muttered, almost to himself.
And I nodded, the back of my eyes burning. “Yeah. That’s why.”
He didn’t say anything right away, and l dropped my head into my hands, my voice breaking as I said, “I didn’t want to, Valtor. Goddess knows I didn’t want to. But what choice did I have? We both know that my father doesn’t make empty threats and I couldn’t risk that.”
Valtor was silent for a moment before he spoke, “You regret it, don’t you?”
I looked up at him, my chest aching. “Every second of it,” I answered. “But what am I supposed to do? If keeping Merrielynn safe means I have to stay away, then that’s what I’ll do.”
Valtor stayed quiet for a long moment, staring at the floor like it held answers neither of us could find. When he finally spoke, his voice was calm. “Don’t you think… maybe this is for the best?”
I frowned, caught off guard. “What?”
He raised his head, looking all serious. “I mean the distance between you andMere. Maybe it’s necessary. For her sake. For yours.”
I could feel the anger as it flared in my chest, and I leaned forward before saying, “No. I don’t think that. Not for one damn second.”
Valtor’s brow furrowed, but I didn’t give him a chance to speak.
“You sound just like my father,” I said bitterly. “And for what it’s worth, I don’t and I’ve never thought Merrielynn was guilty for what happened on the bridge. Not like you. Not like him.”
His jaw tightened, but his gaze remained on mine. “We shouldn’t be talking about this right now.”
I scoffed, leaning back. “I know who’s behind it,” I said flatly.
Al’s head snapped toward me. “Behind what?”
“The person behind revealing the truth to my father,” I answered.
His eyes narrowed. “Who?”
I didn’t look away. “The Beta,” I replied in a cold voice. “I had him followed. He’s the one who tipped off my father.”
Valtor’s face was unreadable, but I could see the muscle in his jaw tighten. “You’re sure about this?” He asked.
“I’m sure,” I nodded. “And I confronted him. At my mother’s funeral.”
Valtor’s head jerked back slightly, looking very surprised. “What?”
“I attacked him,” I admitted. “But my father put an end to it. He probably didn’t want me harming his spineless spy.”
After a lengthy pause, I whispered, “I’ve never felt so... helpless.”
Valtor’s gaze softened, and I saw that flicker of sympathy again.
I didn’t want to see it. I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me, especially not him. So I looked away, staring at the wall instead.
He watched me for a moment longer before speaking. “Have you eaten?”
I shook my head slowly, not having to strength to speak any more.
Valtor stood up then. “Alright,” he said. “I’ll be back in a minute. Need to use the bathroom, then I’ll make something for you.”
I barely nodded as he left and I heard the door to the bathroom closing behind him.
The apartment was silent, except for the soft hum of the fridge and the occasional clink of something Valtor moved around. I sat there with my mind in a mess of conflicting thoughts.
I didn’t want to cry.
It wasn’t my thing.
But damn, it would be good to let it out. To feel something, even if it was just the relief of tears.
Eventually, I heard Valtor moving in the kitchen. But I didn’t turn around, didn’t even move. I stayedput, letting the thoughts take me wherever.
A few minutes later, Valtor appeared in the doorway again, holding a plate in one hand. He didn’t say anything, just handed it to me.
The steak was medium rare, exactly how I liked it, but for some reason, today it felt like a joke. Every other day, I would’ve devoured it.
I didn’t even look at it as I took the plate from him. “Thanks,” I muttered.
Valtor just nodded and stepped back, watching me carefully, waiting for me to do something, anything.
But I didn’t. I just sat there, holding the plate, staring at the steak and wondering why I didn’t feel the need to take a bite.
He moved quietly in the kitchen as he cleaned up the dishes. The sounds of water running and the occasional clink of utensils faded into the background as I tried to lose myself in the anime playing on the screen.
But I couldn’t focus. Not really.
I sighed, letting my head fall back against the couch. I didn’t know what to do with myself.
Didn’t know how to feel, how to act, or even what to say. So, I stayed quiet, watching the show but not really seeing it.
Valtor came up andstood behind me for a moment. I sighed when I felt his gaze on my back.
“You don’t have to worry about me,” I said, not turning to face him. “I’ll be fine. You don’t need to babysit me.”
He didn’t respond right away. I heard him sigh, and I could feel him considering my words before asking, “Are you sure?”
I nodded, still not looking at him. “Yeah. I’m sure.”
“Alright, then,” he said, his tone a little distant. “I’ve got some things to take care of, but I’ll be back to check on you later.”
I didn’t want him to check on me.
Once he left, I dragged myself off the couch and placed the untouched plate of steak in the fridge.
Afterward, I went to my room. The door clicked shut behind me, and I stood in the center of the room for a few seconds, unsure of what I was doing. My eyes scanned the space until they landed on my nightstand.
I reached for my phone, but when I looked down, I froze.
It wasn’t there.
My heart skipped a beat as I tried to think. I’d just had it earlier, hadn’t I?
I scanned the room again and realized that my phone was missing.