Chapter 46: Fox

“Do you have a problem, huh? Can you tell me?” I ask gently while combing his hair using my finger. where in his library, his laptops is open. He stopped working when I came to send his coffee. I am sitting in his laps while his head is tiredly resting on my shoulder, while his hands are around my waist.

“I feel like there's something up on you. Did you have a problem in the company? I am willing now to help with the company.” I said sincerely.

He had been tired and sleepless again, though he was listening to me. Whenever I say that, I want him to sleep with me, he will stop what he is doing and we will sleep together.

I don’t want to see him like there's something on his mind. I want to help him and clear his mind.

I felt him intertwining our fingers and he kissed my neck.

“Can you promise me that you w-won’t divorce me no matter what you're going to know?” He said fearly.

“ I don’t want to lose you and why would I divorce you? I used to be with you and I will be sad if we will be divorce.” I answered sadly.

How can I divorce him? If he spoils me and he is giving me what I want.

He sighed and hugged me together, his hugs felt like he didn't want to lose me and he was scared.

Scared of what?

“Are you okay?” I asked gently and my voice was full of concern.

“I am just tired, wife.” He said hoarsely.

I frowned.

I narrowed my eyes on him, “are you going to tell me or not?!” I shriek.

“You won’t like it if I tell you.” He murmured against my skin. His head is in my neck and his other hand is playing with my fingers.

“What’s your problem!” I yelled and punched his shoulder.

He lifted his head and looked at me.

“Now, you know how to get mad.” He said in amusement.

“How do you want me to react, huh?! You have been like that for days and you don’t want to tell me what's happening to you! I am a witch huh?! I am not a witch to guess what's on your mind!” I said furiously. My nose is smoking.

He chuckled a bit and I am looking amused in his eyes.

“What’s funny?!” I rolled my eyes at him.

“You became bolder, and If I only knew that spoiling you makes you learn on how to talk back to me.” He grinned.

I glared at him and rolled my eyes.

“Don't be mad.” He coaxed me.

“Hey, wife. I am just tired, okay? You have nothing to worry about.” He assures me.

“Do you think you can make me believe you?!”

He sighed and pulled me closer to him. He hugs me.

“I think I want a baby.” He said in a low tone voice. He couldn't utter those words.

I froze.

He wants a baby?

We haven’t talked about a baby thing and we haven’t made that thing.

“Yeah, I know you’re not yet ready for that, that’s why I am respecting your decision and I can wait, but don’t make me wait until I become fifty years old.” He groaned.

“Pardon? How old are you again?”

I am still young to have that thing and I am scared to become a mother, what if I can’t raise our child well? I don’t want to be judged by others and I still don't have the capability.

“Thirty-five.” His face became bitter when he said those words. It's like, he can’t accept that he is already old enough.

“Stop laughing.” He is annoyed.

He is caressing my hair.

“Hmm, I am twenty-five and it’s too early to have a baby at my age but at your age.” I can't stop myself from laughing.

“I’m still young.” He said a matter of factly.

“Is that the reason why it’s like there’s something on your mind?” I asked.

He nods his head.

“What gender do you want?”

“A girl.” He simply said.

This is new. A man wants a boy to be their first child.

“Why girl?”

“So, she will look at you and I will have a princess. I already have a queen, I just need a princess now. I want to play with dolls with her.” He groaned, “Ethan makes me feel jealous. He told me about his experience of being a dad to his daughter and I feel that it’s time to have one.”

I know that he is going to be a responsible father and he will love our kid so much.

I caress his hair.

I haven’t seen brother Ethan’s baby. I heard she is so beautiful and she looks like her mother and sometimes his father, maybe she is mixed.

“I am scared…” I told him the truth.

“Shh, I am here. You will have me by your sides. We will take good care of our kids together.”

I pouted.

“But your time and attention will not be mine anymore, it looks like you’re going to love her more.” I said bitterly. I felt the eagerness in his voice.

“You want me that you’re my baby for now?” He asked and finally looked at me. He is caressing my hair so gently and softly, it makes me feel sleepy.

“Of course! You will always be my baby.” He kissed my forehead.

His eyes are tired.

“Why are you crying, hmm?” He wiped my tears.

I sob.

“Stop crying… if you don’t want to have kids, it’s fine with me. I won’t force you, is that okay?” He smiled at me but it didn’t reach his eyes. The way he cupped and wipe my tears is so gentle and full of care.

Why is he so understanding? I think he loves me more than I love him. He always understands me and he never gets tired of me, even though I am always demanding of him and I act like a kid.

He has a long patience with me.

His kindness and gentleness makes me feel guilty about his attitude towards me.

How can I return all the things that he had done to me? I never understand his situation, instead I will going to throw tantrums to him, and I will complaints to. I acted like a immature.

“Don't cry please.” I saw pain in his eyes.

“Wife, wife, stop crying. Shh. I won’t open up again about that thing.” He said in fear and in a hurry.

“I’m sorry, okay? Please stop crying.” He begged.

He is hurting.

Does he hurt because I am crying?

See, he is the first one who is going to say sorry.

Confirmed. He loves me more than I love him.

I hug him and I cry on his shoulder.

“So-sorry…” I sob.

“Shhh…”

I remember that time he was in Europe, I threatened him to go up and I even planned to divorce. I just really missed him that time and I acted like a spoiled brat, begging him to go home.

When did I understand his situation? When?

“Stop crying. Shhh…” he keeps on murmuring those words in my eyes.

Instead of stopping from crying I cry harder. His comfort, gentleness of his voice, and his understanding makes me cry more.

What did I do to deserve this man? Did I do something good that God sent this man in my life?

I guess I don’t deserve him but I will try my best to be deserving for him. I will make myself better for tha both of eyes.

“I’m sorry… Please stop crying…” He said in a difficult way and he was about to cry if I didn't stop.

I looked at him while my face was full of tears, he wiped it immediately.

He is so soft to me. God! I don’t deserve him.

“Don’t l-leave me!” I said like a kid.

“I won’t, I won’t… Please stop crying.” He said and his eyes were full of pain and guilt.

“Wife, please. Stop crying.” His eyes are so sad and begging and pain.

We stayed like that for almost twenty-five minutes.

“I'm sorry…” I sob.

“Sorry for being childish.” I continued, “it’s fine with me to have kids. I am crying because you are so kind to me and you a-are so u-understanding…” I don’t know how to put all the words. I have a lot of words from my heart and I don't know how to tell him all of them all.

“God, you scare. Don’t cry like that, okay?” He continued to wipe my tears.

I nodded my head and dipped my head in his shoulder.

We get disturb because of his phone ringing. I side my head where his table is and I see him get his phone.

He heaved a sigh.

“Ethan is calling.” He informed me.

I hugged him and I heard him answer the call.

“Bro, where the hell are you?!” I heard brother Ethan’s voice and he looked mad.