Chapter 87: Untitled Chapter

Roberto stared at the black screen long after the video ended. His hands were still gripping the edge of the console like he could keep himself from falling apart if he held on hard enough.

Bash shifted behind him. “Alright, so what’s the plan? We move now or…”

“Give us the room,” Roberto said without hesitation.

Skyler stopped packing his laptop. “What do you mean, give you the room?”

“I mean ten minutes,” Roberto said, and finally he looked at them. His eyes were red and tired and there was no room for arguing in his face. “Ten minutes where nobody talks about Victor. Ten minutes where I’m not the man making calls. Just… ten minutes…alone.”

Bash opened his mouth like he wanted to push back. He closed it again. He looked at Kendrix standing by the wall with her arms wrapped around herself, and whatever he was going to say died there. “Fine,” he muttered. “Ten minutes. Then we start thinking of a way out.”

Skyler grabbed his laptop and mumbled, “I need coffee anyway,” because even he didn’t know what else to say.

The door clicked shut and silence came down differently when it was just them.

Roberto dragged a chair over and sat down hard, like his legs were done pretending they weren’t tired. He put his elbows on his knees and rubbed both hands over his face like he could wipe the video out of his head if he pressed hard enough.

Kendrix stayed by the door for a second because she didn’t know what she was supposed to do now that there was no one to yell at or plan with. She was empty and wiped clean.

“You should…” she started, then stopped because she didn’t know how to finish that sentence.

“Sit,” Roberto said without looking up. His voice was rough.

Kendrix walked over slowly. She stopped next to his chair and stared at the floor because looking at his face hurt. “I don’t…”

“Sit, Kendrix,” he said again, and this time he reached out and caught her wrist. He pulled her down and she landed half on his lap, half on the arm of the chair. It was awkward. Her knee knocked his and she jerked back.

“Shit, sorry…”

“Don’t,” Roberto muttered. His arm came around her shoulders and he pulled her against his chest before she could try to get up again. He tucked his face into her hair and just breathed.

Kendrix went stiff for a second, then melted, slowly. Her forehead dropped to his chest and she closed her eyes because it was the only place that didn’t smell like fear right now.

For a while neither of them talked. The servers hummed. Their breathing didn’t match up and then it did.

“I don’t know how you’re doing this,” Kendrix whispered into his shirt. Her voice came out small and cracked. “Sitting here. Not moving. When they’re…” She couldn’t finish it.

“I’m not doing it,” Roberto said against her hair. “I’m barely holding it together. I’m just better at hiding it than you are.”

That cracked something in her chest. She shook her head against him. “You’re not allowed to fall apart. You’re supposed to be the one with a plan. You’re supposed to…” She cut herself off because she didn’t know what he was supposed to be anymore.

“I’m supposed to be a lot of things,” Roberto said quietly. “I hate to see you hurt and that's why I'm going to get them back.”

Kendrix tried to swallow it down but her throat closed up. A sob ripped out of her before she could stop it. Ugly, wet. She slapped a hand over her mouth like that would make it quieter but it didn’t. Her shoulders shook and tears spilled down her face.

“Hey,” Roberto said right away. His hand moved from her hair to her back, rubbing slow circles that didn’t fix anything but he kept doing it anyway. “Hey, look at me.”

She couldn’t. She pressed her face harder into his chest and cried harder too. “I’m sorry,” she choked out between breaths. “I’m sorry I’m falling apart. I’m supposed to be strong for you and I can’t… I can’t do it. I just…I just don't want to lose them.”

“You don’t have to be strong,” Roberto said, and his voice broke on the last word. He pulled her closer, one hand cupping the back of her head now. He pressed a kiss to her hair. Not soft, desperate. Like he was trying to give her some of whatever strength he had left and didn’t know the words to say it.

“You’re allowed to break, Kendrix. God, you’re allowed to. I’ve got you. You don’t have to hold it together for me.”

“I’m scared,” Kendrix sobbed into his shirt. The words came out messy and wet. “I’m so scared for them. For you. For what happens if we… if we don’t…”

“I know,” Roberto said. His thumb brushed over her shoulder, over and over. “I don't want to see you hurt, okay? They are going to be fine.”

That made her cry harder for a minute. Then slower. Then just shaky breaths and hiccups she was too embarrassed to admit to.

Kendrix wiped her face on his shirt and mumbled, “Your shirt’s gonna smell like salt.”

Roberto made a sound that wasn’t quite a laugh. “I don’t care about the shirt.”

Kendrix nodded against him even though he couldn’t see it. Her eyelids felt heavy. Too heavy. She tried to fight it. “I’m not sleeping,” she mumbled. “I can’t sleep. Not until we figure out…”

“You are,” Roberto said. His fingers moved through her hair, slow and careful like he was trying to memorize her. “You’re exhausted. You’ve been running on adrenaline and fear for a few minutes, just…let go for five minutes now.”

“I’m not,” she said again, but it came out slurred and weak. Then, after a pause she muttered, “Don’t let go. Promise.”

“I promise,” Roberto said immediately. No hesitation. “I won’t let go. Now sleep.”

Her last thought before she drifted off was that his heartbeat was too fast under her ear, but it was steady. And steady was enough.

Roberto didn’t move after she fell asleep. He just sat there in the dark with her weight against his chest and her breath warm on his shirt. His jaw was tight and his eyes stayed open even though he was dead on his feet too.

A soft, hesitant knock hit the door three minutes later.

Roberto didn’t answer. He just tightened his arm around her and whispered into her hair, “Give me two more minutes.”

He let himself have two more minutes where the only thing he needed to protect was the woman sleeping in his arms.