I averted my gaze from him, sending a silent plea to my heart to curtail its accelerated pace. It was going to be hard, I had never experienced anything like this.
The constant awareness of him, the way my stomach fluttered at his sight, and how somehow his scent was able to fill my head with such calmness.
This was unfair.
“Sophia,” Callan called, reverting me to his earlier question. I was still conscious of his hand heavy against my shoulder and it discomforted me in a way I couldn't explain so I did what I knew how to do best.
I stepped away.
“I am fine.” My tone was curt, firm. I wasn't going to allow myself to dream any more than I was, I could feel my wolf’s displeasure at my resort but I couldn't find it in me to be bothered by her. I was doing this for us.
“Is it Alexander?” he asked, his eyes searching mine. The fury in them tormented me, I didn't want to think he cared but it was hard not when he looked like he was willing to rip whoever had hurt me limb by limb.
“I did it to myself,” I said and made to move past him but his voice stopped me.
It was unfair.
His voice held the authoritative tone that said the owner was used to having people do his bidding with just words. “You tried to strangle yourself?” he asked in a sarcasm-laced tone.
Well, that didn't make any sense now that he said it like that. Not that it had ever made sense, my mouth had simply just spewed out the first thing that came to my brain and as the Goddess would have it, it was utter nonsense.
I felt my cheeks heat up. “Well, we all do bizarre things!” I snapped at him.
The corner of his lips lifted slightly, pulling my attention to them. “I promise, love, that I have never had to put a hand to my neck.”
It was subtle and I almost missed it, if it weren't for the slight glint in his eyes alerting me to the stress he'd placed on ‘my’ and I felt the heat crept down my cheek to my neck when I realized I had a small idea what he meant. I didn't have to look at my reflection to know I was completely flushed from embarrassment.
His gaze softened immediately. “Are you okay?”
Instincts kicked at me to shake my head because I really wasn't. I doubted I’d ever be.
“I am fine,” My smile was stiff.
His expression turned serious and my stomach clenched at what I feared he was going to say, knowing that there was the tendency for it to be nerve-wracking.
“I’ll be leaving in two days.” He paused before asking, “Would you like to go with me?”
And my heart dropped.
He couldn't be serious, I thought, but another look at his face told me he was and somehow I found that humorous.
“Why?” I blurted.
He seemed momentarily taken aback by my question before gaining his composure. “Because I can't leave you back here with him.” And his eyes went to my neck, I watched him fight for control within himself, the earlier fury returning.
“Not when I’ve seen what he can do to you.”
And my hand went around my neck, hoping to cover it. I didn't have to look to know the imprint his hand had left on my neck would still be glaring, I've always been easy to scar.
“Well, your presence here isn't making anything better,” I said quietly.
“It's why you should allow me to help you, Sophia. You are going through so much and—”
I shook my head. “I don’t want your pity,”
And that wasn’t because I was prideful, I had no dignity left, Alexander had ripped me off it. No, it was because when the pity Callan felt toward me dispersed, what would be left?
I would be a burden to him then and then what? Would he begin to treat me like Alexander or even worse?
There was no home I could return to, the treaty had made either Alexander's or my mate’s home my home, without the both of them, there was nothing left to live but a rogue life. I'd never encountered rogues but I’d heard the most despicable things about packless wolves, how easy of a target they were, how the harsh reality of loneliness took control of their minds and rids them of all sense of morality.
Was that the life that awaits me outside of here depending on how trustworthy Callan was and I would be a fool to trust a complete stranger.
With a sigh, I made to move away but this time, Callan’s touch stopped me. His hand reached out immediately to grab a hold of my wrist and I felt a small flame elicit from where we made contact… It sent my treacherous heart racing. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at how pathetic I was being.
“I do not pity you.” Every word came out heavily enunciated, his eyes burned into me forcing me to believe what he'd just said but I refused to, not after what Alexander told me.
“Then what is it you feel for me? Perhaps, you simply consider me a thing you must get away from Alexander to prove a point!” I wanted —no, I needed— him to tell me he felt the connection I felt. I needed him to tell me I would be safe with him because he cared deeply for me, for his mate.
I needed him to tell me I wouldn't be making a mistake if I left with him.
I continued, “If that is all there is to it then I'm sorry to break it to you, you are just as bad as Alexander.”
The rage erupted.
“I am anything else, Sophia, but what I am not is Alexander.” He took a step towards me and I took one back; the pounding in my heart was so loud, I was almost certain he could hear it. “I would never force a woman to be with me but yet again, I doubt he is forcing you, not with how you keep covering up for him and refusing to be helped.”
Wait, what?
“What is this, some sort of Stockholm Syndrome? Because it eludes me why you remain here.”
“Maybe because I have loyalty! I have and will continue to be loyal to the treaty that was made and I would rather be here than…” I let my words trail because I couldn't say them, it wasn't right to repeat what had just been hearsay but still, what right does he give to speak to me like that, as though in the past days he's been here, he has witnessed all he needed to know about me.
A small part of me knew there wasn't anything left hidden and my anger was more because of that than anything else. I was like some stupid see-through mirror, my life reflected for whoever paused long enough to see it all. There was nothing that said much about a person’s life other than they'd been given off as a slave for fifteen years of their life and ended up forced to mate with their master for the rest of it.
“Than to go with me?” He nodded at his own question, a sharp tilt of his head. “Understood, I apologize for the misunderstanding.”
When he turned to walk away from me, I blurted out my thoughts; keeping them any longer was going to make them rot inside me.
“Who is the other person you belong to?”