I tucked the freshly washed sheets into the corners of the bed before allowing my hand to run through them, straightening out the remaining creases. With a deep sigh of fatigue, I took a step back and let my eyes scan through it, making sure no errors would be discovered by the head housekeeper.
I could feel the exhaustion coursing through my veins, pumping alongside my blood, and if I tried harder, I could almost hear the low whispers of the bed calling to me. I’d barely slept last night, if at all.
My mind was a labyrinth in all of its chaos trying to suck me in. Different conflicting thoughts ran through it all night long, and I ended up fidgeting on my bed until the loud alarm at the servants' quarters blared, reverberating through the walls and back, had me heaving myself up and hurrying to work.
“I really do not see any reason for this to be half the conflict you're making it out to be, Sophia.” Leah's voice coming from the inner washroom jolted me; I had forgotten she was with me.
I rubbed my eyes with my palms while stifling a yawn and moved on to picking up Elena’s clothes that had been discarded all over the room. It must be heavenly for her to never have to do a single domestic chore while making it hellish for the people doing it for her by never for once putting us into consideration.
I didn't blame her. Sometimes I too wondered if I had been raised as I was born, would I be living like her? Living as an elite who belonged to the family at the top of the pack’s hierarchy—perhaps, yes, I would've been just like Elena.
On some days, I missed home. It came suddenly, hitting me out of nowhere and leaving me to reel in its impact. I couldn't recall much about my family. There was no image in my head of what my sisters looked like or either of my parents, but I could vividly recall the smell of my mother, the gentleness in her caress, and on the nights my longing for home became unbearable, I lay on my bed and imagined her hands were stroking my hair and telling me everything was fine.
Last night, I craved her presence terribly, and she hadn't been there.
“... I mean,” Leah was still saying, “Alexander is a complete psycho, and this is your one opportunity to escape him. It makes no sense why you're hesitating.”
It made no sense to me either. Maybe I was even more cowardly than I had thought—maybe it was why my father had picked me as the settlement for the treaty because he knew how much of a feeble-minded person I was. He knew that if it ever came down to what it was now, I wouldn't leave.
Sephora.
Natalie.
Catherine.
Marilyn.
And I had been chosen. It was hard not to feel bitter about that fact while at the same breath wondering what kind of selfish person I was to wish it had been any of my sisters and not me. Maybe, just maybe if I had thrown a tantrum and hadn't been a quiet, obedient child who hadn't shed a tear at leaving her family behind, they would have changed their minds.
“I don't know what is waiting for me on the other side,” I said, finally acknowledging Leah. “Moreso now that I know he is going to reject me, Callan has no duty towards me and that is what scares me about leaving with him.”
“That he’s not going to protect you?” she asked.
“Yes,” I said in a quiet voice. I feared when the bond was broken, there would be nothing left between us, and then what next? I would be on my own in foreign lands belonging neither here nor there.
Leah came out of the bathroom, wiping her hands on the lower part of her uniform, a look of understanding on her face as she approached me. “Would you like me to go with you?” she asked, causing my look at her to sharpen. She couldn't be serious.
Leah’s uncle had debt from the previous Alpha, Alexander’s father, and her services were being employed as compensation for his inability to pay. She still had long years ahead to complete the payment.
“What?” she asked, chuckling. “I wouldn't mind. It’ll be an opportunity to experience something new.”
And I agreed with her. Having lived here for so long, I was past the time I used to feel stifled, but now, I couldn't stop my heart from leaping up at the endless possibilities.
“Don’t mind me, I was only teasing,” she eventually said with a small chuckle, but I could tell from her averted gaze and the dullness in the sound of her laughter that the humor was feigned.
I placed my hands on her shoulders, looking at her directly and compelling her to do the same. “I would hate for us to be separated, Leah. You mean so much to me, and you've come to be the only family I know, and I love and appreciate you so much for it.”
Her eyes watered briefly before she pulled away from me, her expression turning playful. “Don’t turn this into some sappy moment, Sophia, and you best make your decision fast enough. I heard a messenger has arrived for Alpha Callan, and he might be leaving earlier than planned.”
I stopped. “What?”
“You heard me right,” she said, pushing me out the door. “I’ll cover for you. Go find your mate and do what's right for you and not anyone else, Sophia. Please! For the first time, do something spontaneous without overthinking about the million ways it could go wrong.”
She shut the door behind me, giving room for her words to echo through me, and after a few deep breaths, with a fast-beating heart, I found my legs moving with a mind of their own, leading the rest of me towards Callan’s chambers.