Chapter 84: Chapter 84

LENORE

More than a couple of minutes had passed since Killian left the room, an hour to be exact, and I was beginning to wonder if he was avoiding me.

His uncle had left a long time ago—I knew because the raised voices had stopped, followed by the study door opening and closing—but Killian hadn’t come back to the room. He’d peeked into the room every ten minutes just to let me know he was still in the suite, but he didn’t walk in. I’d thought he was talking with Fabien, Aurel, or Aurora, but when I asked Calley about five minutes ago, she told me he’d been alone in the study since his uncle left.

So he was avoiding me.

Drawing my bottom lip between my teeth, I glanced at Calley who was lounging on the three-seater couch and painting her toenails while watching an animated film on her phone. She was completely relaxed, oblivious to the storm in my stomach, and the King’s inevitable retaliation popped into my mind again. One of his people was dead after all, and the fact that no one had come for Killian didn’t mean no one would. The storm intensified.

“Shouldn’t we be running or something?” I muttered to no one in particular, deeply uncomfortable with us being so close to where the King stayed. I’d thought that was going to be the next thing we did after Killian spoke to his uncle, but I wasn’t so sure now.

“If you run from a mad dog, it’ll give chase,” Calley said and I raised my brows slightly. “If we leave the palace, we’ll be inviting him to do something unhinged, but every hour that passes with us here and him doing nothing reduces the likelihood of retaliation—ugh, I hate this color.”

I fiddled with the hem of my camisole—I’d changed out of my banquet dress half an hour ago, but Calley was still in hers. “Has something like this happened before?”

“Killian killing one of his people?” She dropped the polish bottle on the center table. “No.”

“Then how do you—”

“That’s how the King works. The more time you spend in the palace, the more you understand.” She sighed and picked up her phone which she’d propped up against one of her heels in front of her before leaning back on the couch. Once again, the only sounds in the room were that of her film and I shifted my attention to the door, still unsettled.

I really wanted to believe the King would let bygones be bygones by morning, but this was the same man that blamed Killian for his mother’s death. And yes, it wasn’t the same situation, but… fuck this.

I got off the bed and as I headed for the door, Calley’s film stopped.

“You’re confined to these walls for now, beloved,” she said, but I didn’t stop. When I placed my hand on the doorknob, she was next to me, resting her hand over mine with a stern expression on her face. “I want to talk to Killian.”

“Well—” She tilted her head towards the door. “Pretty sure he heard that, so if he wants to talk to you, he’ll come,” she said and I frowned at the reminder of him avoiding me. “If he doesn’t want to—”

The study door opened and footsteps crossed the hallway to the bedroom door, lingering there for longer than they should have. He was clearly torn between going back and coming in, and just as I scowled, the doorknob turned beneath my hand. Calley moved back a bit, pulling me with her, so he could open the door, and my anger turned into apprehension when I saw the haunted expression on his face.

Killian’s eyes were fixed on the floor at first and a muscle in his jaw twitched before he glanced at Calley. “Give us a moment,” he muttered before walking past us and my gaze followed him while Calley let go of my hand. Seconds later, I heard the door shut behind me as Killian sat in an armchair facing my direction, but still didn’t look at me.

I couldn’t help but wonder if he sat on it instead of the three-seater so I wouldn’t sit next to him.

“We’re leaving the city tomorrow,” he said as I began to close the distance between us.

“Permanently?”

“No.” He scratched the back of his neck when I got closer, then shifted his gaze from the center table to the window shutters which Calley had lowered after he went to talk to his uncle. “We’re going to my uncle’s. His friend will put a, um, protection spell on you.”

To be completely honest, I was much more focused on him avoiding my gaze than his words, and the moment I stopped right in front of him, I noticed how incredibly tense his shoulders were.

“Why?” was all I said and his hands twitched before he leaned back in the armchair.

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Why are you avoiding me?”

“That—”

I grabbed his chin, forcing his gaze up to mine, and his eyes widened slightly before he swallowed, averting his gaze again. But I tightened my grip, refusing to let him look away, until he squeezed his eyes shut like he was in pain.

“Fuck, Lenore. I’m sorry!” he burst out, the words spilling straight from his chest, and I blinked, drawing my brows together. “Fabien was right. Your brother’s right.”

“I—Where’s this coming from?!” I thought I’d alleviated a good part of the worry he felt from Cameron’s words in the banquet hall, and I didn’t even know Fabien had said something along those lines to him too.

He opened his eyes, then sucked in a breath as he leaned forward, resting his head against my upper thigh and wrapping his hands around me. “I’m sorry you had to see that. I didn’t plan to—I really didn’t, but… My love, that won’t be the last time you see something like that.” His arms tightened around me while realization dawned on me, and his voice cracked as he continued, “I can’t… I can’t let you keep seeing this. I can’t let you live wondering what fucked up thing will happen the next day.”

My shoulders sagged.

Earlier today, he was worried that me being with him would get me hurt, but now it was because I couldn’t avoid violence and death if I stayed with him. It was basically still the same conversation, and my chest tightened at the fact that this was what he’d been fixating on since his uncle left. You should have just come to me. I placed my hands on his back and for a moment I just moved them in circular patterns, enjoying the way his warmth seeped through his clothes.

“Killian,” I called and he hmmed.

When I didn’t say anything else, he slowly drew his head back a bit, lifting his gaze to mine, and I gave him a small smile before Cederic’s screams rang in my mind, closely followed by how he’d watched the King mind-control me. Heaving a sigh, I got onto the armchair, straddling him, and he instinctively leaned into me while his arms stayed around me.

“I’m not going to lie and say what happened wasn’t frightening—it was,” I started and he swallowed. “But do I understand why you did it? …Yes.” Again, I didn’t know what the King planned to do with me, but I was more than glad that I was with Killian right now and not wherever he wanted Cederic to put me. “And do I still want you? Yes.”

He blinked rapidly at me, scanning my face like he wanted to find even just a bit of hesitation, and I pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

I didn’t want to focus on whether Cederic deserved it or not right now because the outcome would have most definitely been the same if the King had ordered someone else to get me—someone who hadn’t been there when I was mind-controlled. Killian was simply protecting me the way he knew how to at that moment, and yes, he didn’t look like he was beating himself up over the man’s death, but… I knew his darkness existed. I wasn’t going to pretend it wasn’t there—hell, it was the first part of him I met—but I also wasn’t going to reduce him to it.

“Killian is Killian,” I continued and his hold on me tightened further. “I know who he is. I know what he is capable of. And I choose him anyway.”

His eyes drifted shut again and when he didn’t say anything for several moments, I tipped my head to the side.

“Are you saying what I want doesn’t matter?” I asked and that sent his eyes flying open.

“Never, Lenore.”

My lips twitched into a smile and I moved one of my hands from his shoulders to his face, lightly trailing my fingers down his cheek. “I don’t know about your enemies and immortality, but I know you—” Those were the two major things Cameron had mentioned “—And I choose you… If you want to get rid of me—”

His lips covered mine before I could finish, and I smiled against his mouth before responding. His hand tightened around my waist, pulling me even closer while he kissed me sweetly, lingering over each press of his lips. I slid my fingers into his hair, holding him to me as his other hand came up to cradle my face.

When we finally parted, his forehead rested against mine as his thumb gently brushed my cheek, and I smiled again, wider this time.

“Do you want me?” I asked. He’d admitted it earlier today—that he didn’t deserve me, but that didn’t stop him from wanting me—yet I needed to hear him say it again.

He shook his head slightly, a soft sigh escaping him. “I have suffered for things that meant nothing to me, my love. Do not ask what I would give up to keep you.”

My next breath left me in a rush and my lips immediately found his again, my grip on his hair tightening. He didn’t hesitate to kiss me back while his hand moved from my face to my back, and I softened against him, feeling the little tension that had remained between us completely melt away. I tilted my head slightly, deepening the kiss, and the moment his tongue slid against mine, a moan escaped me.

Killian pulled me tighter against his chest the next moment, his arms locking around my waist until I couldn’t tell where my heartbeat ended and his began. His hand on my back slid up to my neck, tangling in my hair and gently angling my head as his tongue stroked mine with a fierce intensity. Blood roared in my ears as his touch and every demanding press of his lips reverberated through my body, sending heat pooling low in my stomach.

When he finally tore his mouth from mine, it was only by an inch.

We were both breathing hard and his hot, ragged breath against my lips made them tingle even more while his eyes had taken on an intoxicating look that made my head spin.

“Lenore,” he rasped, his eyes searching mine before dropping to my mouth again. Despite my lungs working overtime, I pressed my lips to his and when the kiss broke again moments later, he raised his brows, silently asking Are you sure?

I pressed my lips to his jaw, making a trail of kisses all the way to his ear while his body went taut beneath me. “I want you.”

The words had barely left my lips when Killian rose to his feet, his hand moving from my neck to my thigh as he lifted me with him. I wrapped my legs around his waist, still breathing hard—though now it had less to do with the kiss and more to do with knowing what was about to happen.