Chapter 77: Chapter 77

LENORE

When Killian and I stepped out of the bathroom with his hand around my waist, Fabien, Calley and Aurora stared at me with wide eyes—like they were seeing a ghost—while Cameron immediately made his way toward me.

I drew my bottom lip between my teeth, not knowing what to say to them, but then Killian said, “Leave. All of you.” It was in an authoritative voice I’d never heard him use with his friends before and I glanced up at him, raising my brows slightly, just before Cameron got to me.

“Lenore,” he muttered as he wrapped his arms around me and I didn’t hesitate to hug him back, taking a deep breath as I did. Killian said the King had mind-controlled—I’d heard someone call it that while I was drifting in and out of consciousness—me yesterday morning, so it had only been one day since I’d not been myself, but it felt like much longer.

“Hey, Cameron.”

“I was so scared,” he added, sounding like his heart had been about to give out, and it occurred to me that what the King did didn’t just affect me, it affected them too. My heart tightened in my chest as the expression that had been on Killian’s face while I’d attacked him flashed through my mind and I swallowed, turning my head to glance at him.

Killian had taken several steps away from us and was now standing in the corner—the one the left wall made with the wall behind me—with a miserable, broken expression on his face. It looked so wrong on him that my heart tightened even further as I remembered him yelling while I was semi-conscious.

I wanted the King to suffer.

“I’m alright,” I said—both to Cameron and Killian—while absentmindedly patting Cameron’s back. It was just the three of us in the room now. “I promise.”

Cameron pulled back slightly, his eyes searching my face as though it might tell him something my words wouldn't.

“I’m alright,” I repeated and he opened his mouth to say something, but then shook his head and hugged me again. A moment later, I became aware that my clothes were soaking wet. They clung heavily to my skin, cold and uncomfortable. I needed to change… I also needed to have a long-overdue conversation with Killian. “Can you give us a minute, Cameron? I need to talk to Killian.”

He pulled back again and after staring at me for a couple of seconds, he glanced at Killian. Then he nodded, squeezing my arm before letting go of me.

“Okay,” he muttered. “Okay.” As he headed for the door, he glanced over his shoulder, his gaze bouncing between me and Killian, and I tipped my head to the side when a small confused frown appeared on his face. “I’ll be in the study,” he added before finally stepping out of the room.

I turned to face Killian the moment Cameron shut the door and the sight of that expression still on his face made me exhale sharply. “Why are you standing in the corner like that?” I asked, holding my hand out.

His gaze dropped to it and after lifting his eyes back to mine, he quickly closed the distance between us, taking my hand in both of his and pressing several kisses to my knuckles. I cupped the side of his face with my other hand and he immediately melted into my touch, his eyes slipping shut as though he'd been craving it, before turning his head to press a lingering kiss to my palm.

“I need to change my clothes,” I murmured, and he nodded before following me to my closet, still holding my hand like he was afraid to let go.

I was wearing a shirt that wasn’t mine over a top and shorts, and I figured the shirt had to be Killian’s seeing as it fell to the middle of my thigh. He must have put it on me sometime after—

I pushed the thought of last night out of my mind before looking back at Killian and giving his hand a small squeeze. “I’m not going anywhere, Killian,” I said and he dropped his gaze to our joined hands. His fingers tightened around mine for a moment before he reluctantly let go. He was still staring at me intently though and my face grew warm. “I want to change, Killian.”

He blinked as though he didn’t understand what the problem was before his eyes traveled down my body. Then he muttered, “Oh,” and turned around.

You’re going to kill me rang in my ears and I swallowed before pulling the shirt over my head. The wet fabric caught on the top underneath and pulled it off with it.

The silence was so heavy that I could hear myself breathing, and in an attempt to make it less intense, I said, “I’ll know if you turn around.”

He didn’t respond. He didn’t even move.

“Even if it’s just a peek.”

Still no response.

I pressed my lips together before taking off the rest of my wet clothes and pulling on a dry hoodie. Then I walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Killian,” I called softly, and the moment he turned to face me, he pulled me into a hug so tight it nearly stole my breath.

“I failed you,” he rasped as my arms went around him, and I frowned, my chest tightening.

“What are you talking about?”

I knew what he meant. He believed what had happened was his fault, but I wasn't going to let him bury himself beneath that weight.

“You got hurt because of me and I wasn’t there—”

“You’re the one who got hurt,” I said, pulling back to look at his face, but he buried it in my shoulder instead. The terror that had sprung to life in his eyes last night came to mind and I gripped his wet shirt. “Look at me… Please.”

He slowly lifted his face, his eyes glistening as his warm breath fanned across my face.

“You weren’t the one who did that to me, Killian.”

A pained expression crossed his face and he shut his eyes for a moment. His wet clothes had soaked through the front of my hoodie now. “It was my fault.”

“It wasn’t.”

“Lenore—”

My frown deepened. “You’re not responsible for your father’s actions.”

“He wouldn’t have done that if you had nothing to do with me.”

My stomach churned at that. “Do…” I swallowed, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. “Do you want to leave me?”

“No!” It burst from him, his eyes flying wide, and the knot that had formed in my chest loosened slightly. Then his shoulders sagged and he relaxed his arms around me as he let out a harsh breath. “I’m selfish, Lenore. And I’m cruel and despicable and—”

I surged forward and crashed my lips against his, wrapping my arms around his neck.

For a heartbeat, he froze. Then he made a broken sound against my mouth before kissing me back with equal desperation, one hand sliding up to my neck while the other tightened on my waist as though he needed to be certain I was really there.

When we finally pulled apart, I was breathless and I rested my forehead against his. “Don't…” I muttered and drew in another shaky breath before I continued, “Don't talk about my Killian like that.”

“I don’t deserve you—”

“Don’t—”

“But that doesn’t stop me from wanting you,” he whispered against my lips, and warmth bloomed in my chest despite everything. “If you hadn’t come back, I—” He snapped his mouth shut, a muscle in his jaw twitching before he kissed me again, lifting me off the ground.

He kissed me like he was apologizing and begging me for forgiveness, and he held me like he was afraid someone would come in right now and take me away from him. When I wrapped my arms around him tighter, I felt the tension slowly leave his body and a shaky sound escaped him against my lips.

Then he was walking.

When he finally stopped moving, he broke the kiss and set me down on the couch in the closet before lowering himself to his knees in front of me. Taking my hands in his, he pressed kisses to my knuckles before wrapping his arms around me and resting his head against my upper thigh.

I buried my hand in his hair, but azure eyes flashed through my mind, and my expression tightened. “...Can I ask you something, Killian?”