Chapter 48

Lola shut her eyes as tightly as she could and continued to bury her face into Russel’s chest. She wanted to be as close to his warmth as possible. Her whole body felt cold and he felt so warm. It was soothing to have him carry her. It helped to push out the horrible images she kept seeing.

The claws.

The fangs.

The blood.

She shuddered at the memory of all that blood. Of the body of Nora, a Harvenk werewolf she had never met before. Well hadn’t met before the woman had helped slaughter her entire village. She tried to use that knowledge to alleviate the massive guilt she felt at killing her but it wasn’t working all that well. Even the fury whirling around inside her before, just looking at Nora, evaporated, which left her feeling weak and small. She had never killed someone like Nora. Despite not being fully human, she was still as close to it as one could come before being an outright monster. She had been a thinking, sentient creature with feelings and hopes and dreams. Most of which, Lola admitted to herself, involved killing her in as bloody and gruesome a way as possible.

That should have made her feel a little better but she couldn’t stop picturing the woman when she’d been human. Was that what killing werewolves, vampires, daemons, and other monsters that liked to masquerade as human would feel like every time? If so, then she had made a terrible mistake in telling Russel to train her to fight.

To kill.

After…whatever she had done to Nora, she found out very quickly she did not have the taste for killing, even if it was a monster. Or at the very least, the human-looking monsters. The ones like ghouls, who were basically no better than scavengers and animals themselves, she didn’t feel as bad about. Plus they looked like monsters. She realized how bad that sounded, even to herself, but it was true. The monster monsters, she might be able to kill without feeling as horrible as she had with Nora because they looked evil. They looked scary. Terrifying. If set upon by a monster like a ghoul, it was clearly kill or be killed.

So why was she having such a hard time applying that logic to Nora?

She wished she knew and wished she could. Maybe looking so human had nothing to do with it. Maybe it was some deeply rooted character flaw of hers she never even knew she had up until now. She was even starting to hate herself for feeling so much guilt over the crazy woman’s death. She’d deserved it after all.

The second she started thinking she might be feeling just a little better, those images came at her again. They assaulted her mind. Broke down her mental barriers. Crushed her feelings of justification until they were nothing but dust.

She started crying again, wishing beyond hope that the wrenching pain and emotional turmoil she felt would just go the fuck away. But it wouldn’t. As Russel carried her from the Serenity Pond, it even intensified. She was starting to realize with growing horror why she felt so bad about killing Nora.

The brutal, savage killing could only have been done by…

She shuddered at the thought, not wanting to let it fully form inside her mind but helpless to stop it.

…another monster.

Russel felt the way Lola’s body just couldn’t seem to relax. Every single muscle felt tensed and coiled in on itself. She buried her face so far into his chest, he felt like she was trying to burst straight through his ribcage.

And she was shuddering.

He didn’t mind carrying her. Didn’t even mind the somewhat uncomfortable tightness of her arms wrapped around his neck. He would bear any and all unpleasantness for the rest of time if need be if it meant being able to help her even a little. She had been through something so traumatic, so overwhelming, that she had shut down. It made sense. She was a human girl from a small farming village deep in the heart of Alcroft. The worst thing she most likely had to deal with in life had probably been droughts maybe, possibly illness, or other such mundane things.

Not werewolves trying to kill her.

Not fighting for her life against a pack of ghouls.

Not facing down her werewolf lover when he had been nothing but a savage beast. A killing machine.

And she had never had to kill a human-adjacent, supernatural being before.

He glanced down at her and again, kissed the top of her head. His eyes were glancing everywhere and all over the grounds as rapidly as possible, trying to spot any potential threats before they happened. He noticed the guards doing the same thing. He’d seen enough of the girl Lola had killed to realize who she was. He remembered her from the night he first met Lola. She had been one of Drake’s. She was also, evidently, the third Harvenk spy. The one that got away. As bad as he felt for what Lola had gone through, he was enormously relieved to know she had come out victorious in that fight.

Yes. She had.

The thought came unbidden inside his head. He didn’t really want to acknowledge it but he also knew it wasn’t done yet. It had more to say on the matter.

But how? She fought and not only defeated a werewolf but completely dismantled her. Her corpse looked like the handiwork of a skilled butcher. She was special. He knew that. But what he didn’t understand was how.

It was all very confusing. Other than the weird evidence of some kind of supernatural extrasensory perception, she was completely human. She even smelled completely human. There were no traces of any kind of monster scent to her. Werewolves all tended to smell like a wolf that’s been out in the sun for several hours. Ghouls smelled like rotting meat. Oni smelled like cold. So did shades. Vampires smelled like old dirt, probably because they tended to sleep in dirt from their own graves. Sasquatch smelled like an outdoor animal, usually a bear or some other large predator. He could go on and on but Lola didn’t smell like any of that. She just smelled like…

Lola.

“Don’t worry,” he whispered to her after she shuddered again. “I have you. You’re safe now. I am right here.”

She was still stiff and tensed up but he could feel her arms loosen around his neck the tiniest bit.

“As soon as we get back inside the castle, I want a thorough and complete search of the grounds. I want to know if an ant colony has taken up residence within these walls. You got me?” Russel growled, still angry that a Harvenk spy had managed to infiltrate the Polver stronghold at all. And then to have Lola get attacked at the same time. It was unthinkable. He vowed to make a lot of changes over the course of the next few weeks. “And bring me every sentry and soldier on duty when that woman entered this castle.”

He was looking at Jeffries when he spoke but he was directing his orders at everyone present. Jeffries didn’t say anything, nor did the others, but they all gave him a firm nod.

“Bring them to the War Chamber and come and get me as soon as they have all been assembled.”

Some of the guards surrounding them now looked a little nervous. Russel could bet there were maybe two or three in the bunch that had been on duty at the gates or along the walls as sentries this night. They didn’t look comfortable in the knowledge that the new king was calling them out specifically.

“Any soldier or guard that does not come when commanded, shall be branded a traitor and killed on the spot. Am I understood?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

All of the guards yelled out. They saluted as well.

“I also want it known that this woman, Lola Tarnvol, is under my care and protection. Every one shall treat her as an honored guest and she is to be guarded at all times, especially if I am not with her.”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” the guards yelled out again.

They spent the next several moments in a long, awkward silence as they continued to hurry toward the gates. Russel couldn't move as fast as he wanted to. It could hurt Lola and besides, with her in his arms, it made running too awkward to be convenient. He wasn’t as worried about her physical health. She was, like the medic said, completely unharmed. Her mental health, however, made him uneasy. She still wasn’t talking all that much and the few words she did say were just that she didn’t remember doing it. And that she was sorry.

“This attack should not have happened at all. And because a Harvenk spy snuck past all of my highly trained military soldiers, I can only assume that either gross negligence or outright treason is at play.”

Russel paused, letting the full weight of his next words hit them.

“And I intend to find out.”