Felix
I had wanted to say these things to Chasity for a while now. I was glad for the opportunity to explain myself but scared she would see me as a monster still.
“I thought you were a cute little girl when I was a little boy. You came to us after a tragedy and I did not get that. You were sullen and cried all the time and I was also just a little asshole at that age,” I confessed.
My brothers laughed. I grinned. It was true. I had been a little jerk who had grown into a big asshole when it came to Chasity. I had so much making up to her to do.
“I liked teasing you but it got out of hand and the dynamic continued. I didn’t know how to fix it. Also, you would be on my mind a lot and I was angry that I couldn’t get you out of my head. It makes sense now that I know you’re my mate but back then I’d be annoyed every time I saw you. Sometimes I’d be making out with whoever my girlfriend was at the time…” I said, pausing because she flinched.
I was surprised it hurt her when I talked about my exes. I didn’t think she would be possessive over me. Perhaps, this was a good sign. I kissed her fingers, soothing her. I kissed her wrist gently. Her skin smelled and felt lovely. I wanted to continue kissing every inch of her skin.
“…and I’d be thinking about you obsessively. Sometimes…never mind,” I said, losing my nerve.
“No! Tell me!” She insisted, seemingly intrigued by my words.
“Sometimes I’d call a girl Charity by accident,” I said, mentioning her old nickname. “Sorry for that nickname. That was rude. There’s no shame in being poor. I can’t believe I acted like that,” I said, looking down.
I sighed. There were so many things I wanted to go back and do over.
“It’s so close to my real name, it really stuck. Most pack members think Charity is my name,” she said, smiling.
I frowned. “I’ll fix that myself, and soon,” I promised.
I was going to make good on that promise.
Alex
Calix didn’t have as much to apologise for so I figured I better start talking.
“I always thought you were cute too but our parents hated your parents,” I said, remembering the younger me.
“They’d racked up so many debts from gambling and their drug habit. You’d always talk about how great your parents were and how mean mine were. I started to think you were ungrateful but now I realise that…,” I paused, realising how angry I was, not just with myself but also with my parents.
“…if my parents were gonna treat you like that then you might as well have gone to an orphanage. There’s really no excuse Chasity. I’m sorry,” I said.
I looked at her. She nodded slightly. I wanted to press my lips to hers. I wanted to curl up with her in this bed forever. I wanted to go back in time so twelve year old Alex and nine year old Chasity could be best friends.
Calix
I took a deep breath. I knew I had let Chasity down. I should have protected her from my brothers and my parents from the beginning.
“I just went along with everything. Mom also said you were here to repay a debt not to be a playmate. There were a lot of things I liked about you and I should not have picked on you like that. That was totally wrong. I’m so sorry,” was all I could manage to say.
Chasity sighed. She was disappointed in me. I could feel it.
“Last night I was a little afraid being in bed with you three,” she admitted.
“Because you’re a virgin,” blurted out Felix. “Baby, I know I’ve been grabbing your ass a lot but I really am not gonna rush you to mate us.”
“No, not that. I kept thinking about when Calix insulted me and said my parents were dead druggies and I broke his nose. Then you guys…” she paused, trembling slightly.
I gulped. Oh no. I tried not to ever think of that day.
The silence was heavy. My brothers’ faces paled.
“Then you each slapped me then you put me in the ice fishing hole until I went unconscious,” she whispered.
I had not wanted to hit Chasity but Alex and Felix had said I had to. I should not have listened to them. How could I have been so stupid? I felt nauseated.
“I screamed for my life that day when you were dragging me to that hole. I really thought you were going to kill me. I could’ve died,” she said, holding back tears.
We were silent. There was no apology that would be enough but I couldn’t let her go.
“You don’t ever have to forgive us but just be ours anyway,” I said.
She looked up at me. I wanted to kiss her so badly. I had kissed her once before, just a peck, but I had spent so much time thinking about that second in time when we had kissed.
Felix
I struggled to remember that day clearly. My wolf blocked it out. At that age, my wolf was a shadow of what he was today. I had not even shifted yet. He could not have stopped me. He had to watch from the shadows of my mind back then. I felt his rage at me. My head started to throb.
“For what it’s worth, we really weren’t trying to drown you. We just wanted to scare you. But even before the mate-bond I would feel sick when I would think about that day. That was a heinous act and I’ll never forgive myself,” I said.
I didn’t need my wolf to tell me that it was wrong. I loved Chasity and I was angry with myself. I wanted to go back to that day so badly and hold her tight rather than fight with her. She had just missed her parents. That was all. She had felt so alone. I could feel all of it now, through the mate-bond. I hoped she could see my apology was genuine through that same bond.
Alex
I blamed myself for that day. Felix was the most aggressive but I was the eldest. I was supposed to keep everything under control. Dad had been so furious.
Flashback
Calix
I was watching Chasity sit on the back porch. She was staring out at the frozen lake. She was bundled up in hand-me-downs. Our old clothes. She was perfect. I hid in a tree so I could watch her without her knowing. I liked her hair. It was long and golden like a princess. It fell in ringlets. I liked pulling on them and watching them spring back into place. She didn’t like me touching her hair though. Her skin was golden even in this harsh winter. Her nose was tinged pink though from the cold. Her eyes were big and brown. I slid down the trunk, hoping she would see how good at climbing I was and be impressed. I misjudged it and slipped falling on my back in the snow.
I heard her giggling at me. I liked her laugh but I felt embarrassed. I could never impress her.
“Don’t laugh!” I said.
I walked up to her.
She laughed harder but covered her mouth.
“Stop it,” I warned her.
“Why?” She snapped.
“I’m your Alpha,” I said.
I wasn’t an Alpha yet. That was years away but Alex and Felix always said things like that, especially to the other kids at school and they always listened to him.
“You’re not,” she said.
I felt a pang at that.
“Yes I am, I am your Alpha and you will obey me,” I demanded.
She rolled her eyes.
“My parents are coming back for me to take me away from here,” she retorted. “I don’t have to listen to you.”
“You can’t leave. I forbid it,” I said. I wanted her here with me.
“You can’t tell me what to do,” she screamed.
“Don’t yell at me,” I said.
“My parents are coming very soon and I’m going far away from you,” she snapped.
“Your parents are druggies and they’re dead! Dad said so!" I yelled.
“NO!” She shrieked, standing up. “They’re not dead!”
She tackled me, knocking me over. I fell backwards onto the snow, off of the porch, with her straddling me. I couldn’t help the excitement that rushed through my body at her closeness. She smelled nice and her curls were so long, they brushed against my cheeks. I was so focused on the things I liked about her I didn’t block her punch. She caught me in the nose. I heard a sickening crack and felt blood oozing out. It hurt like crazy.
“Chasity! Get off of me!” I yelled, my voice nasal and thick.
She raised her fist again but someone grabbed it. Felix.
Alex pulled her off of me.
I scrambled to my feet, feeling dumb and weak in front of my elder brothers.
“How dare you attack Calix!” Yelled Felix.
Alex shocked me. He smacked her. I gasped. I looked at her face. It wasn’t pink or anything. I had seen Alex and Felix break people’s noses before. Felix smacked her too.
“Stop!” She squealed.
They pushed her towards me.
“Hit her back! Stand up for yourself! What kind of Alpha are you?” Yelled Felix, shoving me.
“Dad would be disappointed,” said Alex.
My heart was racing. My hands had my blood all over it. I wiped them on my shirt. I smacked Chasity as lightly as I could without it being ridiculous. I got my blood on her face from my dirty hand. Alex and Felix grabbed Chasity and pulled her towards the frozen lake.
“What are you doing?” I called after them, running behind them.
Chasity screamed.
“Leave me alone! Let go!” She shrieked.
They reached the ice fishing hole.
“NO!” She screeched.
“No!” I forced out. “Don’t!”
“Forget about it. She’s sorry!” I said.
“She’s not sorry!” Said Felix. “Are you?” He asked, looking at her.
“Fuck you!” She snapped.
Felix dunked her in the ice water. She opened her mouth to scream but swallowed water. He held her under.
“Ok, she gets it,” said Alex.
“That’s enough!” I said.
“That’s enough!” Repeated Alex, reaching in for Chasity, trying to grab her.
“Stop!” Snapped Felix. “You’re gonna make me lose my grip on her and then she’ll get trapped under the ice!”
“Then give her to me! I’m the eldest!” Demanded Alex. “NOW!”
Felix pulled Chasity out and handed her to Alex. She was limp. We gasped.
“Chasity,” I said softly.
“Chasity!” Said Alex loudly.
He cupped her cheeks.
“Turn her on her side so she can cough up the water!” Suggested Felix, his voice sounding panicked.
We turned her on her side. She remained unconscious. Felix hit her back trying to get her to cough up water.
“Come on,” said Felix. “Come on, Chasity!” He said. “What do we do?” He asked Alex.
“Shit!” Said Alex. “CPR?” Said Alex.
I nodded. I got down on my knees.
“Not you! You have blood all over you!” Yelled Felix.
“I’m a boy scout! I know what to do!” I said.
“Explain it then!” Said Alex.
“You pump her chest like fifteen times and then breathe in her mouth twice and keep repeating it,” I explained.
"I thought it was thirty times," said Felix.
"Thirty for adults. Fifteen for children," I said.
Felix put his fingers on her neck.
“She has a pulse!” Said Felix.
Alex began pumping her chest. He reached fifteen. He opened her mouth, holding her nose closed like I showed him and blew into her mouth twice. He did about three cycles.
“This isn’t working! We can’t leave her like this for much longer! What if she’s really sick and never wakes up?!” Said Alex, his voice sounding thick.
He was crying. Felix was crying too but he hastily wiped away his tears. He got up and dashed inside.
“FELIX!” I yelled. Was he deserting us? Was he deserting Chasity?”
In a flash, Dad was with us. I spotted Felix running back towards us.
“What the…” Dad said, his voice sounding strained. “What happened?” He growled.
“We dipped her in the ice fishing pole!” Cried Alex.
“WHAT?” Roared Dad.
He scooped Chasity up and ran with her to the car. Mom came running outside.
“I heard you yelling! What’s going on?!” She demanded.
“GET IN THE CAR!” Yelled Dad.
“Excuse you!” Snapped Mom.
“NOW!” He thundered in his Alpha voice.
A Luna could not be commanded but Mom listened, shocked at his behaviour. She got in the passenger seat and Dad got in the driver’s seat still holding Chasity. My brothers and I scrambled into the backseat.
“Hold her!” Demanded Dad, handing Chasity to Mom.
“ROMEO! WHAT HAPPENED?” Screeched Mom.
Dad started the car and took off.
“ROMEO!” Yelled Mom.
“The boys dipped her in the ice fishing hole!” He said.
Mom gasped. She looked back at us.
Alex looked so ashamed. Felix looked terrified. I was numb. I felt like my heart was broken. It all happened so fast and it all started with me.
‘Chasity please don’t die, please don’t die, please, please, please,’ I chanted in my mind.
Dad made it to the private hospital in no time. He ran in at werewolf speed. We ran after him as fast as we could go. The doctors and nurses rushed to take Chasity seeing their Alpha bringing her in.
“She almost drowned in the ice fishing hole. She’s probably hypothermic!” Said Dad.
“She fell in? Was she ice skating?” Asked a female doctor with long dark hair and brown skin.
A male doctor was listening to Chasity with a stethoscope. She had been placed on a bed. A nurse was taking her vitals.
“Yeah she fell in,” mumbled Dad just as Mom rushed in.
She had fallen behind. She seemed stunned so she hadn’t used her werewolf speed. She looked surprised when Dad lied for us.
“Ok,” said the female Doctor.
The next few minutes were the scariest time in my life. They worked on Chasity and they asked us to wait outside for a few minutes. Mom and Dad ignored us.
One of the doctors came outside to talk to us.
“She’s stable,” she said.
Dad nodded, looking relieved.
Mom sighed and covered her face in her hands.
“Can we see her?” I asked quietly.
The doctor jumped looking at me. He began examining my nose. My parents looked at me startled, only just realising my nose was broken. The doctor fixed it with a little hammer and chisel knocking it back into place. It bled a little more but I didn’t cry. They let me see Chasity after that.
“I’m really sorry, Chasity,” I whispered, sobbing.
Alex and Felix were on the other side of the bed, crying quietly.
Mom and Dad came in. They ushered us out into the private waiting room.
“You’re banned from all activities besides actual school work for the next month!” Said Mom, her voice sounding strained.
“While Chasity is recovering, you, Alex, will clean the pack house,” said Mom.
Alex didn’t protest. He just nodded.
“Felix you will be cleaning Beta Keaton’s house for the month. You’ll go over there three times a week,” said Mom.
“Calix,” she said.
I looked up at her. She sighed.
“You’ll be cleaning the Gamma’s house three times a week for the next month,” said Mom.
“During this month, no TV, no video games, no after-school sports, no friends over, no going over to their houses either, no desserts, no junk food!” Snapped Mom.
We all nodded mutely. We knew we were in the wrong so there was no use arguing. In fact, we knew were getting off easy.
“Cleaning?” Said Dad. “That’s no punishment for a future Alpha!”
We had never actually cleaned anything before.
Mom flashed him a dangerous look.
“What would you have me do?” She hissed.
He narrowed his eyes.
“Send them to Harrow Wood Academy,” said Dad.
A chill crept through me. HWA was a school for bad boys in werewolf country whose packs needed them whipped into shape. It was basically boot camp and a reform school for werewolves.
“No!” Squeaked Mom. “Calix can’t be away from me for that long!”
“It won’t be permanent. We’ll send them for a term,” he said.
The school year there was divided into three terms instead of two semesters. Each term was about three months and there were breaks or holidays in between.
“No! I won’t have my Calix so far away! And we both know it’s mainly Felix and Alex who did this,” said Mom.
“They probably did it because Calix couldn’t handle himself. Look at him,” snarled Dad, gesturing to where my broken nose had been.
Mom laughed humourlessly.
“Handling yourself involves fighting with small girls,” she said.
Dad sighed.
“What exactly happened?” Demanded Dad.
“It was my fault. Mom’s right. Sorry, Dad,” said Felix.
Dad gave him a grim expression.
“It was mine too! I’m the eldest. I should have gotten control of the situation and had better judgement! I’m sorry,” said Alex.
He always spoke like he was so much older than me and Felix.
“Calix?” Questioned Dad.
“I…said something to Chasity and it upset her…” I began.
Felix shook his head slightly.
I knew what he meant. It was a triplet thing. We shouldn’t put any blame on Chasity. We’d done her enough harm.
“And she punched you?” Asked Dad.
“Even if she did? It doesn’t warrant Alex and Felix throwing her in the icy lake,” growled Mom. She began to wail. “What would her father say…” she sobbed but Dad fixed her with a stern look, silencing her. She sniffled, quieting down.
“Chasity didn’t punch me,” I lied.
“We know you’re lying,” said Dad dryly.
“I fell face forwards on the ice and broke my nose,” I explained.
Felix looked at me pointedly as if to say that was a pathetic lie. I wasn’t very good with lying.
“Is Chasity going to be ok?” Asked Alex.
“Yes,” barked Mom. “Why weren’t you concerned with that before you did this?”
“This will never happen again. Ever,” said Alex.
Our parents left us in the private waiting room.
“Why do you guys hate Chasity so much?” I asked.
“What?” Said Felix. “We did that for you! It was retaliation!”
“We don’t hate Chasity,” said Alex. “It’s not like that.”
“How could you let Chasity beat you up?” Asked Felix.
“Don’t talk to me,” I said.
“Oh don’t talk to you like that? You have a backbone now?” Asked Felix.
“No, I meant don’t talk to me at all! Leave me alone. I don’t want to be associated with you,” I said.
Felix actually looked taken aback and a bit hurt.
“We are triplets. We will not be holding grudges against each other. We have to get along,” lectured Alex.
I sighed.
“We will share everything one day. We will be co-Alphas and share the Pack, the work. We’ll even share a Luna,” he said.
“Eww,” I said.
“We will?” Asked Felix.
“Yes,” said Alex patiently. “You two didn’t know that.”
Felix shrugged. I shook my head.
Felix scowled and folded his arms.
“I don’t want you two touching my girlfriend,” grumbled Felix.
“I don’t want to touch your girlfriend,” I retorted. “You would probably date some criminal or something!”
“Whether you two like it or not, we will be sharing our lives essentially forever. We need to be seamless. We need to work together. I take full responsibility for what happened today. I should have stopped Felix,” said Alex.
“I’m not some wild animal!” Yelled Felix.
“Quiet down,” said Alex in hushed tones. “We’re in a hospital.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt Chasity like that,” said Felix, looking away from us. His eyes were watery.
“You’re crying!” I said, my tone accusatory.
“Shut up!” Snapped Felix.
Felix wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve.
“I don’t hate Chasity,” he muttered. “Neither do I,” said Alex, looking upset.
“Yeah, but you don’t love her like I do,” I said, my voice cracking. Felix raised his eyebrows. I began to cry. I tried to run away so they wouldn’t see but Alex grabbed me and hugged me, holding me in place. My shoulder was wet. He was crying too.
End of Flashback
Alex
“If you had drowned we would never find our mate and not know why. We would be searching for someone already lost to us. We would deserve that but you, Chasity, after all you’ve fought for…you deserve the best life imaginable. Please let us give you that life,” I said.
Hurting Chasity was the biggest regret of my life.
“Please, Chasity, we’re so sorry,” said Calix.
She sighed. We continued to massage her. She relaxed in our arms a little.
“Have you ever kissed anyone?” Asked Calix suddenly.
“No,” she said blushing.
My heart sped up at the thought of Chasity’s lips on mine.
“We wanna kiss you,” Felix said.
She bit her lip.
“I’m not sure if I’m ready yet,” she said.
“That’s ok,” I said quickly. We needed to keep the pressure off of her.
“Were you guys disappointed when you realised I was your mate?” She asked.
“No! Of course not!” I said.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Disappointed? She was drop dead gorgeous and smart and sweet when she wanted to be and sassy when she needed to be.
“I went inside your room and lay on your bed,” Said Calix.
She smiled at him. I knew he was her favourite and for good reason too. My heart hurt a little. I hoped there was love left over for me. She never seemed particularly interested in being around me. I wanted her to want me. I wished I could mark her right now but I wasn’t going to pull a Felix. I wished she would mark me.
“I went through your things,” I said sheepishly. “Sorry, it just hit me how little you actually had so I wanted to see what you needed me to buy you.”
She nodded looking at me. She wasn’t angry I had gone through her stuff but she didn’t smile at me the way she smiled at Calix. I wasn’t about to begrudge my little brother the love of our mate. I was happy she was sticking around no matter her reasons.
“I freaked out because I thought you’d reject us because I knew we’d been horrible to you,” mumbled Felix.
I knew Felix was struggling with the past too.
“I realised what was up when I came back from my first shift and smelled something amazing and it was each of your rooms,” she said.
We all grinned at her.
Felix
“So, I went into Calix’s room to investigate. I was too terrified to go in either of the other two rooms in case you guys got pissed. I was least afraid of Calix,” she admitted.
Calix smiled. Alex and I stiffened uncomfortably. She was “terrified” of us. My wolf whimpered. He hated me. He reminded me that he was the favourite in wolf terms not me. Calix was the human favourite. She obeyed Alex the most but so did everyone else, even me. He had that effect on people.
“Then I was not sure what to do…I tried to avoid you all for as long as possible while I worked out some of my feelings. I thought you guys would reject me actually,” she said.
“What?!” I said. I burst into laughter, my eyes widening in disbelief.
We would never reject her. Ever. She could have all of me, my kidney, both of them, my heart, liver, lungs, whatever. She could do whatever she wanted with me as long as she stayed in my life.
“Never,” said Alex.
“We’ve been waiting for our mate three years since we shifted,” said Calix.
It was true. We had even visited different packs hoping to meet our mate.
“So how come you always date random girls?” asked Chasity.
“We’re men. We have needs,” I said simply. My brothers glared at me but it was the truth. Sleeping with girls who weren’t our mate was enjoyable enough but Chasity’s hold on me was diamond solid, indestructible, whereas my feelings for my exes had been paper-thin.
“When I was setting up the party, I thought I’d have to watch you three slow-dancing with your girlfriends while I served drinks,” She said, chuckling sadly.
Our mouths were agape. Was she insane? I regretted not getting to slow-dance with Chasity though. I wanted to give her those romantic experiences. It was all new to her. She giggled suddenly. I could feel my blue eyes shifting to black. She looked a little worried but I had a handle on myself this time. I pulled her into my lap, enjoying her presence. She engaged all of my senses. I loved looking at her beauty, smelling her scent, feeling her warmth and the smoothness of her skin, hearing her voice. I had yet to taste her but I knew I would love that too. Tingles ran through us everywhere we touched. I had so much to make up for. I figured I should start small and simple. I needed to get to know her properly.
“I wanna take you on a date, Baby!” I said, my voice deeper than usual because of the presence of my wolf.
“Um…sure,” she said faintly.
My wolf and I were ecstatic.