Chapter Nineteen

I was struggling to get into the hospital when I met Andrei.

I was so nervous. Only my son is on my mind. What happened? Is he okay?

Then blame Rod afterward.

It is his fault. Why did he come back? Why else would he feel?

“Jewel–”

“Where’s my son?! Where’s Jihan? What happened? Why is he here? Is he good?”

Andrei, then, looked at me flatly. It seemed to be boring because I began to overreact.

Of course, I will overreact! That’s my son!

“Jihan is across room 206,” he said calmly.

“What?! Wait, what happened? Why is Jihan here–”

“Jewel!”

I just stared at the man and stopped thanking him. I quickly looked for an elevator and started looking for that room on the second floor.

I was nervous. I don’t even know if what I’m doing is right. I look like a corpse walking in the hallway of the hospital.

“Jihan!” When I saw the child standing not far from the exact door of a room, I immediately joined him and hugged him.

“You made me worried! Why did you do that? How are you? Are you feeling sick?” I quickly turned the child around, looking for wounds or blood on his body part, but I did not see anything.

Well, I should be happy, right? He was not injured, but why is he here in the hospital?

“You are not hurt, right? There was no internal bleeding, so I could not see. What’s happening?”

In my haste, I looked at my son’s body earlier than his face, so it was too late for me to see his uncontrollable tears.

“J-Jihan. . . what’s the problem?”

If earlier, my chest did not get tired of the throbbing. Now it doubles now.

“Mom, I’m sorry if I ran away, but I don’t regret doing that.”

When I looked up at the few people with my son in front of the door, it was as if I had been denied the right to breathe.

“M-Mama. . .” Even though I was weak, I stood up, took my hands, and quickly waved to them.

“What. . . are you doing here?”

I looked again at my child, who still did not stop crying. There, I clearly saw that Mama was not the only one there. Rod’s siblings were also here.

“Ate Rian, Riza? What’s going on?”

At that point, I may already know something is going on, but I want them to confirm I was wrong. That was just wrong, and I just had it all in my mind.

“Mama. . . Papa,” Jihan said between his sobs.

It was as if the energy had immediately escaped. What does this mean? Why are they in the hospital?

“H-He’s here?” My hands trembled as I began to point to the closed door. It was too late for me to know that it was one of the hospital’s ICUs.

I looked at them one by one, but from Rod’s youngest sister, Riza, I got small nods. Even Rod’s mom was just quietly crying on the side.

I was still confused and had many more questions, but I was not able to speak again. I poorly squatted on the floor, trying to ignore those things that were running into my mind.

What is it now? What else do I have to go through?

I did not realize that my tears were coming out completely. It was continuous, and whatever I wiped was unstoppable.

Rod. . . we’re all done. Isn’t it? I want him to disappear and disappear from my life, but this is not what I asked for.

I suddenly felt Ate Rian setting me aside— the eldest of siblings, the breadwinner of the family. You will not see her crying now, but she will not be able to lie with her very sad eyes.

So I easily understood why this would come up for me to explain everything - she’s the toughest one.

“Rod loves you, and you know that, right?” Instead of answering, I just cried even more. Not because of her question but because I do not know the answer.

“Five years ago, after your mommy died, he found out he was sick, and I was the first to know about it. He was devastated. Lung cancer, Je, he told me, is not possible yet. He has not proven himself in your family yet. He has not yet fulfilled his dreams for you. You have not yet built a house, and you have not yet transferred Jihan to a good school. But he completely ruined your family. . . I also found out what you talked about that night. When he said he was sorry, he fought with you about your father. He regretted that because you are suffering because of him. That after all the sufferings you have felt, he will leave you too. You are suffering because he isn’t capable of staying with you for a long time. When you were rushed to the hospital, Je, he did not know what to do. He cried a river. That was the only time I saw that brother of mine. . . that way. I-It hurts because he is my brother. . . I am his sister, but I can do nothing to ease his heart. “

Throughout the words of the woman next to me, I could do nothing but tremble. I do not want to hear that, and I do not want to accept everything.

“He didn’t even visit you at the hospital over time, and things get worse with him. But he did not stop. He did not stop proving everything to you. . . proving that he was ready to do everything for you. Je, he begged your daddy. He asked Sir Jelo to give him a job. Sir Jelo gave him the chance to work in Dubai. We restrained him a few times, but he did not listen. He accepted the job and suddenly ran away from home. He said he would only return to the Philippines if we did not tell you his situation, so that is what we followed. Jewel. . . we didn’t know anything about my brother for five years, so it would be a miracle for us if he is considered to have returned after the contract but when he comes home here. . . the doctor told us that everything got worse until this happened.”

“T-The doctor is looking at Rod’s life . . . and. . . and anytime now–”

“No! Ate Rian, please. . . take. . . take it back,” I said hoarsely. I could no longer recognize my own voice with so much crying.

I immediately got up and started licking the ICU closed door. “Rod! Please! Don’t you ever leave us again!”

“Mom ... mom.” When I looked back at my son, I felt even more pity. I quickly hugged it tightly.

It was as if my chest was squeezing with pain. I do not know what to think first.

“Jewel. . .” I turned to Mama again, Rod’s mother. We didn’t often meet then because she lived far away, but she was very kind to me.

I lowered my gaze to the envelope he was holding and forcibly handed it to me, so I did not hesitate to open it.

I automatically burst into tears when I saw the content then.

“He used to be very afraid that you might divorce him and that all his hard work in Dubai would be in vain. He should come back here, and he has fixed all the cases with contract problems that transfer of your name was a bit late so he was very scared to show up. He doesn’t want you to divorce him because the n-name will not be transferred to you-that’s for you and Jihan. . .”

I scanned the properties that I now have named. He has a house. . . he has a house built.

Information on bank accounts is also available, as well as the saving account owned by Jihan. The money set aside for the child’s education is also there.

Everything Rod and I dreamed of together were in that envelope.

But at the very end of the paper, I was completely stiff. It clearly made me tear up, but it looks like I have no strength left.

“He instructed us to give you those annulment papers when everything is settled and you have found out the truth. It’s up to you. . . he signed their, Je. . . she has prepared everything. . .”

•••

“Jewel, you need to eat. Andrei is with Jihan first, having fun. You have to be strong for Jihan, Je.”

I easily wiped away the tears that could not be stopped. Well, Faye immediately followed me earlier to the hospital. She tried to remove me from the ICU first, but he was not able to remove the pain inside me.

No matter what else she does. . . no matter what everyone else does, the situation will not change.

“I need to talk to him,” I finally said.

“Yes, you will. We’ll all talk to him ‘when he wakes up, okay? Now, eat first. You’re withered there, oh!”

“Now, Faye. . .”

“Jewel, you need to help yourself. Jihan is big, and he is no longer like he did not even know what was happening. You need to fight with him–”

“Faye, why do I not know?! Cancer? Why do I not know that she is sick? What kind of wife am I? I fell so much when mommy died that I neglected him! Every day. . . every day he asks me if I’m okay, if my day is okay or if I’m tired, but you didn’t even do those things with him. F-Faye. . . I almost killed him in my brain because of so much hate! I hate him because he doesn’t even listen to me. He always sleeps! He was always tired then. . . I didn’t even ask him. “

Faye was no longer able to speak. She just looked at me with her tired eyes.

“H-He’ll still wake up, won’t he?”