Chapter 29 Flirting
We sat on the stream bank, the horses grazing nearby, along with the guards. Sebastian had produced a small flask of wine from somewhere—"always prepared," he said, grinning, and we passed it back and forth in companionable silence.
"Can I ask you something personal?" he said.
"You've already asked me several personal things."
"This one is different." He turned to face me. His hazel eyes were serious now, the charm dimmed. "Are you happy here, Queen Nyx?"
The question caught me off guard.
"I'm not unhappy."
"That's not an answer."
"It's the only answer I have."
He reached out and touched my face. His fingers were warm against my cheek, gentle and unexpected.
"You deserve to be happy," he said quietly. "Not just not-unhappy. Not just surviving. Happy."
"Lord Valois..."
"Sebastian."
"Sebastian." I caught his wrist. "You shouldn't touch me like that."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm married. Because I'm the Queen. Because..."
"Because you're afraid of what might happen if you let someone in?"
"I'm not afraid."
"You're terrified." His thumb traced my cheekbone. "I can see it in your eyes. You've been alone for so long you've forgotten what it feels like to be wanted."
"I am wanted. By my people. By my brothers. By..."
"I don't mean wanted as a princess. I mean wanted as a woman." He leaned closer. "When was the last time someone touched you like you mattered? Like you were precious? Like you were the only thing in the world worth looking at?"
My heart was pounding. My shadows were stirring, curling around my fingers like defensive snakes.
"Stop," I said.
"Or what?"
"Or I will make you stop."
His hand slid from my cheek to my shoulder. Then lower, brushing the curve of my waist. His touch was light, almost teasing, but there was nothing innocent about it.
"Go ahead," he murmured. "Show me what the Princess of Hel can do."
My shadows exploded.
They roared up around me like a living storm, dark and cold and furious. The stream froze. The sunlight dimmed. The air crackled with ancient power, the kind of power that had made kings tremble and armies flee.
Sebastian was flung backward, landing hard on the mossy bank.
I stood over him, shadows coiling around my arms like serpents, my eyes blazing violet fire.
"Touch me again," I said, my voice echoing with something older than myself, "and I will show you exactly what the stories say about me. I will show you why the Fae fear the dark. I will show you why my bloodline has survived a thousand years of persecution and war and extermination."
He stared up at me.
And then he smiled.
"Magnificent," he breathed. "You're absolutely magnificent."
I blinked. "You're not afraid?"
"Afraid? You just threw me across a clearing with your shadows. You could probably unmake me with a thought. And you're asking if I'm afraid?" He pushed himself up on his elbows. "I'm not afraid, Queen Nyx. I'm intrigued!"
"You're insane."
"Possibly." He stood, brushing moss from his coat. "But I'm also right. You're not a monster. You're a force of nature. And the people in this court who fear you, they're fools. They should be worshipping you."
I didn't know what to say.
"I apologize," he said, his voice softening. "For touching you. It was inappropriate. It won't happen again."
"It had better not."
"But I meant what I said. You deserve to be happy. And you deserve someone who sees you, all of you, and isn't afraid." He held my gaze. "I'm not afraid of you, Nyx. I never will be."
The shadows receded. The stream began to flow again. The sunlight crept back into the clearing.
"We should go back," I said.
"Of course." He offered me his arm, keeping a respectful distance this time. "After you, Your Majesty."
We rode back to the palace in silence.
But I couldn't stop thinking about what he'd said. I'm not afraid of you. I never will be.
It was the first time anyone in this golden kingdom had looked at my shadows and seen something other than a monster.
I didn't know what to do with that.
\-------------------
The morning after my ride with Sebastian, I took breakfast in the smaller dining room, the one reserved for family, the one Elowyn had made her personal battlefield.
She was not present. A small mercy.
Sebastian was.
"You're eating alone," he observed, sliding into the chair across from me without waiting for an invitation. "That's either very sad or very peaceful. I can't decide which."
"Peaceful," I said. "Definitely peaceful."
"Then I'm ruining it."
"Completely."
He grinned and stole a piece of toast from my plate. "Good. I've always excelled at ruining things. It's my second greatest talent."
"What's your first?"
"Charming beautiful queens who should know better than to talk to me."
I snorted into my tea. "You're incorrigible."
"I've been told. Usually by women who are about to throw me across a clearing with their shadows."
"That was one time."
"One unforgettable time." His hazel eyes sparkled. "I meant what I said, you know. About you being magnificent. I haven't stopped thinking about it."
"You should try. It's unproductive."
"Some things are worth being unproductive over."
The door opened. I looked up, expecting a servant with more tea.
It was Cardan.
He stopped in the doorway, his silver eyes sweeping over the scene, me, Sebastian, the stolen toast, the easy intimacy of our laughter. His expression went very, very still.
"Lord Valois," he said. His voice was ice. "You're up early."
"Your Majesty." Sebastian rose and bowed, entirely unruffled. "I was just keeping the Queen company. She looked lonely."
"The Queen is not lonely. She has an entire court at her disposal."
"An entire court isn't the same as a friend."
Cardan's jaw tightened. "The Queen and I need to speak. Privately."
Sebastian glanced at me. I nodded, a small, almost imperceptible movement. He bowed again, deeper this time, more formal,, and withdrew.
The door clicked shut behind him.
Cardan didn't move. He stood by the table, his hands clasped behind his back, his posture rigid. The winter-storm scent of him filled the room.
"You've been spending a great deal of time with Lord Valois," he said.
"I've been diplomatic. As you asked."
"I didn't ask you to have breakfast with him. Or ride with him. Or laugh with him like..." He stopped.
"Like what?"
"Like you enjoy his company."
"Because I do enjoy his company. He's charming and intelligent and he doesn't look at me like I'm a monster." I set down my teacup. "Is there a problem, Your Majesty?"
"The problem is that you are the Queen Consort. My wife. And you are flirting with a foreign diplomat in full view of the court."