Chapter 190: Not Even Death

LEITANA

Ravial refused to leave my side despite the fact that I felt fine now. He refused to allow anyone into our bedroom, not even the staffs with food or water, though I didn’t mind that part. But he kept clutching me to his chest so tightly it felt like he wanted to fuse us into one body. I didn’t mind that much either… but I really needed to use the restroom badly.

I stared up at him. He had his jaw resting on the top of my head, arms locked around me like iron bands. His heartbeat was steady against my ear, but I could feel how fast it had been earlier. He hadn’t spoken much since I started breathing again. Just held me and watched me. Like if he blinked, I would disappear.

“Mi Ravial…” I whispered, gently pushing at his chest. “Plis… mi need to pee.”

He didn’t answer with words. Instead, his arms tightened even more, almost crushing me against him. His nose pressed deeper into my hair, inhaling like he was trying to memorize my scent all over again. Like I was the only thing keeping him sane. Like if he loosened his grip even a little, the universe would steal me away.

“Mi fine now,” I said softly, stroking his arm. “The doctor say it was just a small attack from my sickness. It happen sometimes. Mi no go leave you.”

He finally loosened his grip just enough to look down at me. Even with the blindfold, I could feel the weight of his stare, heavy, desperate, almost terrifying in how much it held.

“You stopped breathing,” he said, voice rough and low. “You were in my arms… and you stopped. I felt it. Your heart… your lungs… everything just… faltered.”

His hand moved to my throat, fingers tracing the skin there with frightening gentleness. “I won’t let that happen again. Not while I’m breathing. You understand me, Leitana? You are not allowed to leave me. Not for one second. Not even death can have you.”

The way he said it sent a shiver down my spine. It was scary, the kind of scary that made my stomach flutter and my thighs press together. He wasn’t asking. He was declaring war on anything that tried to take me from him, even my own body.

“Mi understand,” I whispered, touching his jaw. “But mi still need to pee, mi Ravial. Plis.”

He exhaled sharply, like the request annoyed him for being so ordinary. Then, without another word, he stood up, lifting me effortlessly into his arms. One arm under my knees, the other supporting my back, he carried me straight to the bathroom.

I blushed hard. “Mi can walk, yu know…”

“No.” His voice was rough, almost broken. “You’re not walking anywhere right now.”

He didn’t put me down.

He sat me gently on the toilet seat, then knelt in front of me, hands on my thighs, blindfolded face tilted up like he was guarding a sacred treasure. He watched me the entire time, silent and intense.

“Mi Ravial…” I covered my face with both hands, embarrassed. “Yu no supposed to watch mi pee.”

“I’m not leaving you,” he said simply.

When I was done, he lifted me again like I weighed nothing and carried me back to the bed. He laid me down carefully, then climbed in beside me, pulling me flush against his chest. His hand returned to my stomach, rubbing slow circles over the small bump.

“You are everything,” he murmured against my hair. “My light. My weakness. My reason. If you ever stop breathing again… I will follow you. I will tear apart whatever waits on the other side until it gives you back to me.”

“I have classes, mi Ravial,” I said firmly, trying to sidestep him and reach the bedroom door. Today was the audition day at Juilliard. I had already missed Wednesday and Thursday classes because he refused to let me leave the room. “Move. Mi serious.”

Ravial stood like a wall in front of the door, arms crossed, his whole body radiating tension. “You are not going anywhere.”

I stopped, anger rising hot in my chest. “Yu think yu can keep me locked in this room forever? Two whole days, Ravial! Mi no even see Marita properly. She knock every day and yu no let her in! I'm not a prisoner!”

His jaw tightened. “You almost died in my arms. I felt your heart slow down. I am not risking that again.”

“Mi felt fine yesterday!” I snapped, voice getting louder. “The doctor said it was just a small episode from my sickness. Mi no go die from going to audition! Move out of the way!”

He didn’t budge. “No.”

I felt tears burning my eyes. I knew this always worked on him. My bottom lip trembled as I let the tears fall.

“Yu no understand. This audition is important to me. Mi want to do something normal. Mi want to play piano and feel like Leitana again, not just… your fragile little thing yu lock away. If yu really love me, yu go let me go.”

Ravial went completely still. I saw his jaw clench hard.

After a long, tense silence, he exhaled sharply. “Fine.”

I blinked, surprised the tears worked so fast. “Really?”

He stepped closer. “But you will follow my condition.”

I wiped my tears, suddenly suspicious at the look on his face.

“What condition?” I asked slowly.

Ravial’s lips curved into a slow, twisted smile.